ALL PRESEASON TOOLS

Jonesy’s gems epidode 2
Cripps .V T-Rex who’s the bigger Supercoach beast

Patrick Cripps has been the modern day Atlas carrying the Carlton world on his back for four of the last five years and when his burden was slightly lifted the signs of wear appeared. Patrick’s slightly lighter load in 2020 still required him to attend 85% of CB’s but it was less arduos than before. The tape and limp weren’t signs of decay and you’d be foolish to think that they were. It was just a gods body saying to itself “OK we’re not under heavy assault anymore, we can return to human mode and conduct a damage report. Then we’ll fix up the dents and buff out some scratches and come back in 2021 to show them what we can do when there’s a fleet good human footballers beside us to also adsorb and repel.”

Cripps isn’t broken all that he needed was a 5-year service to bring him back to his best. This year the opposition are going to have to also deal with other big bodied quality mids in addittion to Cripps. They wont be able to double tag him at almost every stoppage unless they they plan to lose every stoppage takeaway.
Cripps has pumped out Super Coach 150’s with two players on his back imagine what he’s going to do with only one of them there. I expect to Cripps to have a massive ‘breakout’ year and increase his average by 40.

T-Rex is a trap. Even if he was only $102,400 and had Mid/Fwd/Def/Ruc eligibility I wouldn’t have him in my team. Sure he’s got some height and his thighs would rival those of Ollie Wines but his upper body is that of a child. Have you noticed that he can’t actually get his arms close enough together to hold a footy?
Even if the pies give him a go in the middle he still has to play by the rules. He’d be on -3300 SC in Frees Against by the end of the 1st qrtr and get rubbed out for life. Why did Eddie ever draft him?

If you don’t like the attempted humour don’t read it. Don’t feel as if you have to tell me that you don’t like it. I don’t care.

Teams for Carlton .V Essendon
Liam Stocker is a suprise that not many expected
 Carlton
1. Jack Silvagni
2. Paddy Dow
3. Marc Murphy
4. Lochie O’Brien
5. Sam Petrevski-Seton
6. Zac Williams
8. Lachie Fogarty
9. Patrick Cripps
10. Harry McKay
13. Liam Stocker
14. Liam Jones
15. Sam Docherty
18. Sam Walsh
20. Lachie Plowman
21. Jack Martin
23. Jacob Weitering
25. Zac Fisher
27. Marc Pittonet
28. David Cuningham
31. Tom Williamson
32. Jack Newnes
35. Ed Curnow
40. Michael Gibbons
42. Adam Saad
43. Will Setterfield
Oscar McDonald
Callum Moore

Essendon
2. Sam Draper
3. Darcy Parish
4. Kyle Langford
5. Devon Smith
6. Jye Caldwell
7. Zach Merrett
8. Martin Gleeson
9. Dylan Shiel
10. Aaron Francis
12. Tom Cutler
13. Nik Cox
14. Jordan Ridley
15. Jayden Laverde
16. Archie Perkins
17. James Stewart
19. Nick Hind
20. Peter Wright
21. Dyson Heppell
23. Harrison Jones
24. Nick Bryan
26. Cale Hooker
28. Ned Cahill
33. Brayden Ham
35. Matt Guelfi
40. Will Snelling
43. Anthony McDonald-Tipungwuti

Carlton .V Essendon practise game
The Carlton viewpoint (edited from their website)
The main positive to take out of the day was clearly the form of Paddy Dow from a Carlton standpoint. The 21-year-old was involved in everything throughout the four quarters at Ikon Park, using his explosive power to emerge out of congestion after winning the contested ball. Arguably the most promising thing about Dow’s performance was his scoreboard impact, finishing the day with multiple goals.

It was a starting trio of Cripps, Walsh and Williams at the feet of Marc Pittonet, but it wasn’t uncommon to see Ed Curnow, Dow, Jack Martin and Will Setterfield – among others – spend time at the coalface.

GOALS
Carlton: Dow 2, Fisher 2, McKay 2, Pittonet 2, Cripps, Cuningham, Martin, Murphy, Newnes, Williams

BEST
Carlton: Dow, Saad, Cripps, Jones, Pittonet, Fisher, Walsh
After seeing footage of todays game I’m seriously considering switching williams to Saad. It’s a shame that Zac Fisher has been overpriced by 50k and lost m/f or he’d be worth a look as well