ALL PRESEASON TOOLS

Jonesy’s gems epidode 2
Cripps .V T-Rex who’s the bigger Supercoach beast

Patrick Cripps has been the modern day Atlas carrying the Carlton world on his back for four of the last five years and when his burden was slightly lifted the signs of wear appeared. Patrick’s slightly lighter load in 2020 still required him to attend 85% of CB’s but it was less arduos than before. The tape and limp weren’t signs of decay and you’d be foolish to think that they were. It was just a gods body saying to itself “OK we’re not under heavy assault anymore, we can return to human mode and conduct a damage report. Then we’ll fix up the dents and buff out some scratches and come back in 2021 to show them what we can do when there’s a fleet good human footballers beside us to also adsorb and repel.”

Cripps isn’t broken all that he needed was a 5-year service to bring him back to his best. This year the opposition are going to have to also deal with other big bodied quality mids in addittion to Cripps. They wont be able to double tag him at almost every stoppage unless they they plan to lose every stoppage takeaway.
Cripps has pumped out Super Coach 150’s with two players on his back imagine what he’s going to do with only one of them there. I expect to Cripps to have a massive ‘breakout’ year and increase his average by 40.

T-Rex is a trap. Even if he was only $102,400 and had Mid/Fwd/Def/Ruc eligibility I wouldn’t have him in my team. Sure he’s got some height and his thighs would rival those of Ollie Wines but his upper body is that of a child. Have you noticed that he can’t actually get his arms close enough together to hold a footy?
Even if the pies give him a go in the middle he still has to play by the rules. He’d be on -3300 SC in Frees Against by the end of the 1st qrtr and get rubbed out for life. Why did Eddie ever draft him?

If you don’t like the attempted humour don’t read it. Don’t feel as if you have to tell me that you don’t like it. I don’t care.