CAPTAIN McCAPTAINFACE Round 16

Woe is us. Nathaniel Fyfe is gone, injured, KAPUT. We’ve got to trade him, and the number of captaincy options in front of us decreases yet again.

One thing I finally remembered to say on the podcast before it was stolen from us was to get behind Doctor Supercoach’s ‘dollars for donuts’ campaign, which is raising money for the Cancer Council. Basically, every time you end up with a donut, tip a few dollarydoos into the kitty. Awesome idea and Lek, myself and the rest of the crew are keen to get behind it. Have a squizz here.

SYDNEY vs GEELONG
Thursday, 7.20PM, SCG

More Thursday night football. Ugh. Lots of VC options though, which is nice.

From Geelong, Patrick Dangerfield is alright at football. He had 118 last week, but hasn’t topped 120 since round 10 against Carlton. I’m not bullish on Danger as a captaincy option: the Swans are the team he has the lowest average against, with just 91. His next lowest opponent is Brisbane at 101. Pass. Joel Selwood is in the same boat, he only averages 103 against them, and has two 80s and a 102 in his last three against the Bloods. The little master Gary Ablett however, averages over 130 against them. Can the Gary of old line up this week?

My pick here though is Josh P Kennedy. I waxed lyrically about this man on the pod, and is averaging over 120 in his last three and last two scores against the Cats are 117 and 122, despite his career average against them of 90-odd. If you really want to get on the Lance Franklin train, go for it, I guess. His highest score at the SCG this season is 112, and my days of trusting him with the VC are over. My heart can’t do it. I’d give Jake Lloyd a miss, too. His past three results against Geelong have been two 50s and a 90. Nah.

RICHMOND vs ADELAIDE
Friday, 7.50PM, MCG

Both Toby Nankervis and Sam Jacobs has massive scores last week after disappointing seasons, but don’t expect them to back up. Nank does not enjoy Adelaide and while Jacobs averages 102 vs Richmond, he hasn’t had a brilliant stint on the road this year. Although if his last two scores give you confidence, go for it.

What has happened to Dustin Martin this season? What’s gone wrong? His Supercoach numbers are shocking, to the point where people are considering trading him out. Don’t do that, but don’t VC him. Matt Crouch is a better option in the middle for mine. The numbers aren’t there for him but he’s building into form. Rory Laird‘s last outing against the Tigers in round six last year (not the Grand Final) yielded a 122, too.

BRISBANE vs CARLTON
Saturday, 1.45PM, The Gabba

Zorko. Cripps. Beams. Murphy. The midfield heavyweights of the competition (in the eyes of Lekdog) go head to head this weekend and there are plenty of Supercoach points to be had considering how badly the peripheral scorers in these sides have been. Patrick Cripps has played the Lions four times for a low score of 95, but only a high of 118. Dayne Beams doesn’t like playing the Blues, with an average of just 91 against them – including his Collingwood heydays – but his stablemate does.

Dayne Zorko‘s last two starts against Carlton have yielded a 142 and a 151. Hello, yes please. More of those numbers please. Daniel Rich is not only a terrible captaincy option but should be traded out of your side ASAP, is not sooner. On the other end of the spectrum, #SLEEVEWATCH Kade Simpson is a dead-set legend and is averaging 120 over his past five. Probably the best option from this game for mine.

Also Stefan Martin likes to smash teams without ruckmen. If Kreuzer doesn’t head to Queensland, heavily consider big Stef.

PORT ADELAIDE vs ST KILDA
Saturday, 4.35PM, Adelaide Oval

Do not VC any St Kilda players. No thank you. Not even Jack Billings.

On the flipside of the pillow, where it’s far cooler and far more teal, The Hoff is hot and cold against the Saints. He had 42 from his last start, but also has a 132 against them. At the Adelaide Oval this season he’s looked good, and has a three round average of 113. Chadley F*&#ing Wingard is probably an option considering the Saints leak goals like a sieve and he has a thing for kicking them, but surely you’ve better options that Chad?

Such as Tom Rockliff, who averages 113 against them. Or Ollie Wines, who has gone 140+ two of his past three games in Adelaide? Anyone but the Chad, please.

BULLDOGS vs HAWTHORN
Saturday, 7.25PM, Etihad (aka the Shrine of Cyril)

I always forget Tom Mitchell in these things but not tonight. Not after a 180-odd last week that I decided against VCing for on Friday night. I WILL CAPTAIN YOU, TITCH, AND YOU WILL SCORE WELL FOR ME. Some may say he only averages 80 against the Dogs and isn’t huge on playing at Etihad, but I do not care your facts and numbers and logic. SCORE FOR ME, TOM, or I’ll have you flogged.

If you’re like Lekdog and don’t have Titch, maybe a Bontempelli is more your style? Yes? You like the Bont? Well you shouldn’t, he averages 60 against the Hawks in home and away games. No Bont for you. On Saturday night, it’s Titch or it’s no-one.

MELBOURNE vs FREMANTLE
Saturday, 7.40PM, TIO Stadium (which according to google is Darwin)

For those of you who haven’t backed away slowly, I regret to remind you Nat Fyfe is not a thing this week, or for the coming weeks. My condolances. In the purple, Lachie Neale is the man. He’ll either do well or not well depending on if he’s tagged, but by definition he can either be good or not good so I’m really throwing some enlightenment around here. My bet is he is less good than we’d like from a captain. That said, he averages 127 against Melbourne.

It really comes down to how much Max Gawn literally eats the other human beings around Neale. He is literally the best player in Supercoach to date and will eat Freo’s midfield, small children near the fence any lingering hopes and dreams you have. Three of his last four games have been 139 or higher, and Freo are missing Aaron Sandilands. I don’t care about the numbers, I don’t care about Clayton Oliver, LOCK IN BIG MAX. Or don’t, if you prefer Titch. Because they play at the same time. Which is crap.

NORTH MELBOURNE vs GOLD COAST SUNS
Sunday, 1.10PM, Etihad Stadium

Shaun Higgins or bust. Literally. Maybe Ben Brown if you’ve got him. But Higgins is a certainty for lots of points here.

Ruckmen Todd Goldstein and Jarrod Witts negate each other here for mine, and from a Supercoach perspective all 40 other players are garbage in terms of Supercoach captaincy.

ESSENDON vs COLLINGWOOD
Sunday, 3.20PM, MCG

This could be a game of football. Unfortunately, it’s going to be an awful blow-out where the Pies take every opportunity to remind the Dons they’re top two despite not being allowed to because rules and such and I don’t want to think about it.

Brodie Grundy probably doesn’t go massive against Essendon as he only averages 70 against the red and black, and Tom Bellchambers has done brilliantly against a lot of good ruckmen this year. Zach Merrett is a big chance to get a lot of attention after his blistering past month of football, and Jeremy Howe won’t have it down his end often enough – although when it does head down there he’ll intercept it every second time.

Veteran Scott Pendlebury has been quiet, Treloar is injured and Essendon aren’t a great fantasy side at present. I’m going to pass on this game.

WEST COAST vs GWS
Sunday, 4.40PM, Optus Stadium

HERE WE GO. Here’s some Supercoach meat to tear off the bones. Josh Kelly, Elliot Yeo, Andrew Gaff, Stephen Coniglio, Callan Ward, Shannon Hurn and Supercoach 2018’s best starting option in the midfield Lachie Whitfield are all on the park.

Kelly is yet to tear a top eight side apart so we’ll give him a miss on his trip to Perth, but Ward’s five-round average of 118 excites me. He’s my pick in orange and charcoal, considering Cogs has struggled for form and Whitfield… well shush.

For the Weagles, Yeo and Gaff are the main men, with Yeo’s average of 100 against GWS significantly higher than Gaff’s and the rest of his averages against other opponents. Gaff also hasn’t had the ceiling Yeo has this year, so I’m going Yeo for old time’s sake.

PATCH’S TOP FIVE
1. Maxwell Gawn
2. Josh P Kennedy
3. Patrick Cripps
4. Elliot Yeo
5. Tom Mitchell

Smokie: Kade Simpson (or Stefan Martin, depending on if Kruzer is named).

Patch, out. What moves are you looking at, community?