CAPTAIN McCAPTAINFACE Round 14
Hello, community, it’s Patch again. What is crackalakin my home dogs?
I’m running short on time so I’m going to get straight into it.
WEST COAST vs ESSENDON
Optus SBS Stadium
This will be Essendon’s one chance to take down the Eagles, with Josh J Kennedy and Jack Darling out of the side. Elliot Yeo is probably the best captaincy option in this game coming off a 144 last week, he’s in ominous form in the middle.Would be my choice out of this game if you had to make one.
Nic Naitanui will be coming up against Tom Bellchambers, I’m not confident he goes big so I’d pass. Shannon Hurn an option? Maybe? Otherwise you could take a punt on Zach Merrett?
Outside of Yeo I’m not really feeling a VC option tonight.
PORT ADELAIDE vs MELBOURNE
7.40PM (AEST), Adelaide Oval
Now we’re talking! A plethora of VC options are on the park tonight. If you’ve overlooked Ollie Wines two weeks in a row you’d be filthy with yourself after a 142 and a 157. On current form you’d back him for a 13o on Friday. If you don’t have Wines, Robbie Gray played a lot of midfield minutes last week for a 127 and absolutely loves playing the Dees, averaging 108 against the red and blue. My current VC.
You could also channel your inner Lekdog and #yolo your way to a Tom Rockliff VC, but do ya wanna? He kicked three snags last week to help bump his score to 127 – I wouldn’t be expecting them again.
There’s also a fella by the name of Max Gawn. I had some words to say but everywhere man Brice Mitchell tweeted some things so I’m going to leave them here.
Max Gawn #supercoach scores
3gAv v PA=142
LastScore at AO v PA=151
2018Av v 100+ Av Rucks (Grundy,Martin)=87
Last 3 games v Port
2017 R18 MCG v Ryder=108
2016 R21 AO v Lobbe/Trengove=151
2016 R10 TIO v Trengove/Westy=167
What does he Av this week?
— Brice Mitchell (@bricemitchell) June 19, 2018
I reckon he scores well but doesn’t pump out a big (130+) one, so I’ll pass on the VC and hand it to Robbie.
HAWTHORN vs GOLD COAST
Tom Mitchell is a player I consistently forget but he could genuinely pick up 60 touches this week against a flaccid Suns side. Got to be the captaincy lock of the week with old mates Fyfe, Dangerfield, Dusty and co. all on the pine. Don’t even think about it. James Sicily could go 140 but Titch is your main man here.
As for Gold Coast captaincy optiohahahahaha I can’t even say it.
BRISBANE vs GWS
4.35PM, The Gabba
Main man and super trade in target Josh Kelly is the big one in this game? Is he back? That’s the $50,000 question to bring him in, and as to if you captain him. My money’s on yes. Yes you do, even though I said I prefer Treloar in this week’s pod – I may be backflipping again. Would avoid Coniglio until we know more about the concussion factor.
Dayne Beams has 37 – yes, 37 – against the Dons before the bye, so no. Dayne Zorko, however, has a five round average of 110, which coincidentally is what he scored against Essendon last start. I’m a fan of this one, but there are plenty of options I’d take ahead of him this week.
WESTERN BULLDOGS vs NORTH MELBOURNE
7.25PM, Etihad Stadium
And we’re looking at Jack Macra… oh wait, no we’re not. What about Toby McLean? He’s only 50/50 for the game? Who’s even going to score for the Dogs now? Anyone? No. Nope. I do not like these blue eggs and ham, I do not like them Sam I am.
As for the other blue eggs – Norf – there are two options. One is Todd Goldstein coming off 112, 102, 123 and 112 could eat whoever the Dogs have rucking for them these days alive. The other option is (please forgive me Lekdog) Shaun Higgins. But I’m not contractually allowed to recommend him in any format for any purpose so this is expressly not me endorsing Higgins.
Ben Brown could kick 12, but I wouldn’t risk a captaincy or vice captaincy on doing so, unless your side is so far gone only a hail mary can save you.
COLLINGWOOD vs CARLTON
Ah yes, the old derby. Loves a good derby, especially with so many captaincy options onboard. Adam Treloar was my main pick for the rest of the year from here on out, and remains an excellent selection for the captaincy this week. Probably won’t but a 130 but if your VC fails he’s good for a 115-120 (2017 Patch could never have typed that sentence).
Brodie Grundy is also good at football. Does he get negated by Matthew Kreuzer? Magic 8 ball says: yeah nah he’ll be right. The big gangly bastard dropped his second sub-100 score on the Queen’s Birthday last start, but aside from the 95 and 98, his next lowest is 108. He’s unstoppable, lock him in (ahead of Treloar, might I add).
Patrick Cripps is another bloke who’s good at football. I rate him behind Grundy as an option but will also be #phresh off his bye after carrying niggles and should be raring to go as a goddam midfield bull. Magnificent.
PATCH’S TOP FIVE
1. Tom Mitchell
3. Brodie Grundy
4. Elliot Yeo
5. Josh Kelly
6. Patrick Cripps
Wild smokie: Zach Merrett. #yolo