PATCH: Gday community, Patchy and Lek here. Post MaSloane has had to hang his captaincy hat up for the season with life commitments eating into valuable captaincy analysis time. He’s done a ripper job so far this season and thank him from the bottom of our hearts for the work he’s done. So, your homeboys are here to have a good old chinwag about captaincy options.
LEKDOG: Patchy! Let’s talk captaincy options for the week.
PATCH: Yes, let’s. We’ll crack into the first game, Hawthorn vs Sydney and there’s pretty much no reason to not VC Tom Mitchell if you have him, right? 127 last week and despite a poor run over the past three, you can’t ignore a bloke who’s able to pick up 50 touches a game. If you DON’T have Titch, do you look at VCing anyone? Heeney? JPK if you brought him in?
LEKDOG: I’ll pass on guys like Heeney, Buddy or Parker (please god be good soon Parker) but JPK entices me…well he would if you HADN’T TALKED ME OUT OF HIM. Kennedy is actually my choice ahead of Titch. He’s in bloody good form, averages 114.1 against the Hawks and does ok at the ‘G with an average of 92.5. His last three against the Hawks netted him 119, 118 and 50.
PATCH: #sorrynotsorry. The first of six??? Saturday games is GWS v West Coast and… well… For two sides teeming with talent, there aren’t a lot of Fantasy options here to VC here. You know know who we shouldn’t VC in this game? Lachie Whitfield. Because he’s not Patrick Cripps AND NEVER BLOODY WILL BE. You’re costing me first place in Supercoach, Lachie. FIRST PLACE. I will not rest until the round I can trade you out of my godfosaken side. I. WILL. NOT. REST.
LEKDOG: Six games is too many for someone who likes to watch all of the games…or do we always have six? Who knows #research.
I’d be looking at a VC on Yeo who averages 100 against GWs and 104 at Spotless Padium or maybe Nic Nat because does maths GWS are allowing 113.9 points per game to opposition ruckmen in 2018. WAIT WHAT!?! They’ve played against like Tom Hickey and Rhys Stanley…wow.
PATCH: Elliot Yeo is certainly a good pick there, but we’ve got to rely on the tribunal not suspending Nic Nat to see him monster the all-Australian ruckman… *checks notes, doublechecks notes and clears throat* …Lachie Keefe.
Onto what will undoubtably be the worst match of the round in Essendon and Carlton – two highly skilled teams in good form who have all of their good players playing. God it’ll be the worst. Zachy Merrett is averaging a Jackson Merrett-like 81 for the season and 91 over the past five rounds and I don’t like it one little bit. I’m not throwing the VC or C on a bloke with a top score of 114.
Considering Carlton will win by 47 goals and Patrick Cripps will collect 297 contested possessions against the weak Essendon midfield, he’s got to be the go-to man unless you’re brave enough to try Old Man Simpson in the sleeves. But in the wet and the cold you’ve got to go Paddy, surely? Only scored 100 against us last time, which was also cold and also wet and we also lost because Carlton are our bogey side and I hate it.
LEKDOG: If Nic Nat is out, a sly VC on Lycett wouldn’t be awful. Cripps. Lock him in. Alternatively Jackson Merrett or Marc Murphy if he gets up…Jacko is in 500 more teams than Murphy by the way, the world is a strange place. Now onto an equally as good game, Melbourne v Gold Coast. Only one man we should be thinking about here.
Actually make that two, Clarry and Gawn are both pretty good. Are we calling him Clarry? Is that a thing now?
PATCH: Sounds scrappy enough to suit him. We’ll go with Clarry. Partly because I’m not clever enough to think of a witty joke about him not having a soul because he has red hair. I don’t mind a sneaky Jarrod Witts VC if you’ve got him, considering he’s scored well against good ruckmen this year. Goldstein (131), Stefan Martin (117) and… uh… Tim English (114) have all had tons against their name, but if he’s going to be eaten alive – literally consumed while his heart still beats, torn limb from bloody limb in a screaming mess of man-meat – it’ll be by Maxwell Gawn, Esquire.
Onto the showdown and there’s one man on my mind here. Robert the Gray. ROBBIE. Could go absolutely bananas, but by here most people will have used their VC loop, so I’d be avoiding him for the C. If you’ve got Lynch from the Pies you could consider it, but the game later on Saturday night is where my true heart lies in this weekend’s games, unless you’ve got someone who stands out in the Showdown?
LEKDOG: Another bloody showdown, I swear this happens every fortnight. Matt Crouch, great buy-in option this week by the way, has scored 100 and 122 over the last two weeks. Averages 102 against Port and scored 139 against them in Round 20 last year. Nothing else worth talking about here I reckon. Another big matchup here with the Doggies taking on the bigger-catties (Lions). Macrae, Macrae, Macrae all day and twice on Saturday. Averages 119 against the Lions and his past three scores against them are 96, 121, 162…he could hit the double ton here. Dayne Zorko as a smokie.
PATCH: Will he get tagged though? After last week where he melted the Suns on Mars (see what I did there?), surely Mitch Robinson (another great buy-in option) goes to follow him around and rough him up? I dunno, the Lions can be pretty dumb though. Remember that time they traded Fev in? Hysterical. Gets me every time.
The Community’s darling Toby McLean had an incredible game last weekend, don’t reckon he backs it up for mine. So that leaves Zorko (who will continue to be bad, don’t bring him in yet and I know I said that last week about JPK but I mean it this time) and Macrae, and Macrae would be absolutely locked away as captain…
…if it weren’t for Nathaniel Fyfe playing St Kilda in Perth at the exact same time.
LEKDOG: Speaking of Fyfe… He actually doesn’t like playing the Saints and doesn’t do it very often. I love him and he’s a gun but I’m avoiding the C on him this week. Lachie Neale is much more appealing with scores of 123, 118 and 117 in his last three against the Saints. Jackl Steven is a sneaky Saints option if you’ve got him but let’s be honest you don’t and St Kilda are bad so why risk it?
PATCH: JACK BILLINGS CAPTAIN. LOCK IT UP AND BAKE IT AWAY, TOYS.
LEKDOG: Trade him in, I dare you. I DARE YOU.
PATCH: Double dog dare, AROOOOOOOOO! Moving on from such frivilities, can we talk about Dusty? It’s been nearly a month since he tonned up. What is going on here? Is he injured? Is he hurt? Is he struggling emotionally with the sudden death of a beloved pot plant? We may never know, but what we do know is to avoid him.
Dusty averages 115 against the Roos, which is A LOT, but also that Ben Jacobs bloke is a thing and he’s either be tagged or sent forward to get away from Jacobs. As for North Melbourne, Shaun Higgins isn’t bad. 122 in round 4, 61 in a half before being decapitated against Hawthorn, one week off and then a 123 last week. Pity no-one has him, but one to look at? Maybe?
LEKDOG: You never mention that man’s name to me again. This game is too late to VC loophole so just avoid it community! The final game for all of you C options is Pies v Cats. The obvious one for me now that Pendles is injured (he may play but he’ll be sore) is Joel Selwood. Averages 100 against the Pies and 105 at the ‘G although his past few games against them have been rough. I still like him. I don’t like Dangerfield for this game, this should be the perfect Danger game. Why is this happening to us?
PATCH: Random fun fact: Shaun Higgins is averaging 101 points more than Sam Docherty this season. Wow! Me saying things like that is probably why the Supercoach gods keep breaking things I touch. That includes Patrick Dangerfield. This is the sort of game we’d have loved last year – giving us the chance to VC literally anyone and whack the C on Paddy if it fell through. Can’t touch him here, and would steer clear of Pendles.
I like Mitch Duncan after his 134 last week, but my smokie is Adam Treloar. Averaging 128 over his past three games and 115 for the year, he’d be one I’d heavily consider this week considering Joel’s record against the Cats. Pity no-one has him. Lek – who is your VC and C as we speak?
LEKDOG: You bastard. Oliver into Selwood.
PATCH: I’m currently running a Titch/Fyfe combination, but I reckon you’ve convinced me to put the captaincy on Macrae. Community – stay tuned for tomorrow’s cheat sheet! Until then, let us know what you’re thinking for captaincy options!