Let’s get the bad news out of the way. Our Prince of PanicTM, PatchtotheMax, has hung up his cape and the cowl for 2018, preferring an easy life of podcast duties and background cricket noises.

If you caught my 3-week work experience kid write-ups of the Panic Room last year, you can expect more of the same material that our beloved Patch has given us over the years. Simpsons memes, bad decisions, and me linking to you posts and tweets from our Community members that have much better fantasy football brains than I do.

The biggest news in the off-season was Jock, Higgo, and Crouching hanging up the boots, the abacus, and the Pyanmanese children’s stories, respectively, for this year. We mourn them and miss them dearly, but SuperCoach waits for no man, no matter how much of a legend they are.

Our forefathers are fine, they are alive and well. Crouching is a little worse for wear but he’s okay. Jock will forever and always be the Father of Fantasy. He wouldn’t want me to bang on about it, he’s a proud fella, but the lessons he gave to the Community will never be forgotten. I suggest you print off the meme below and hang it somewhere close by as a reminder of the journey you’ll be undertaking this year.

(you can add personal hygiene to that list as well)

THE NEWS (FEAT. ROOKIE ROUND-UP)

Right, enough of the misty eye stuff. Let’s get into it. Remember how much Patch hated Thursday night games? Yeah, I get it now. What the bloody hell is happening with Sunday teams? Danger, Oliver, Nic Nat under injury clouds. West Coast have promised us “three or four” debutants but with half their team leaving or delisted last year this narrows it down to half their list as possible debutants.

In short, Community, yes I absolutely would panic! You have plans for Sunday? Cancel them. Boss wants you to work? You’ve broken your leg but will be in on Monday. Missus giving birth? Tell ‘em to film it and you’ll watch it during the bye rounds when there’s not enough footy on. Oliver WILL play but there’s a few alarm bells going off in the noggin’. He’s playing hurt, not something you want from your $600+k premo that isn’t named Dangerfield. If Nic Nat has been NAMED but it will be his first game in 19 months. Great story. Not for SuperCoach. And Danger? Well he HAS NOT been named, but that fiasco will roll on right up to the bounce on Sunday.

Just a quick reminder about the rolling lockout for round 1. If this article hits the site before 7:25pm stop reading this right now and get in whatever Richmond or Carlton player you want. Players from both teams will be locked out as soon as the siren sounds player. After that you’re bang out of luck, but you can still chop and change anyone from the 16 other teams. As soon as the Sherrin hits the deck for Essendon v Adelaide clash they’ll be locked out too.

Rookies have been the cause of our stress this week. Coaches coming out and naming their debutants for Sunday games has been fantastic. You’d think a rookie being a late out would be an extremely dog move by the coach so if it has been confirmed by an actual news source (and not Sam McClure) they’re debuting feel confident they’ll play.

Rookies named Thursday:

Jarrod Garlett, Paddy Dow

Rookies named Friday:

Tom Doedee, Darcy Fogarty, Lachie Murphy

Rookies named Saturday:

Cameron Rayner, Hunter Clark, Bailey Banfield, Andrew Brayshaw, Dom Barry, Nick Holman, LDU, Sam Murray, Jaidyn Stephenson (No Will Brodie??? – PANIC)

Rookies named Sunday:

Zac Langdon, Aaron Naughton, Billy Gowers, Bailey Fritsch, Lachlan Fogarty, Tim Kelly, Esava Ratugolea, Jake Waterman, Liam Ryan, Daniel Venables

Saad and Stringer will play their first games for Essendon. Hodge and Charlie Cameron will do the same for Brisbane. Rocky, Watts, Weller, Hartung, Impey, Crozier, and Jake Lever are others playing in their new colours for the first time.

Other big news from Sunday teams was Melbourne dropping Angus Brayshaw and Dom Tyson despite both them playing in Melbourne’s two preseason games. The Eagles doing the same to Mark Hutchings. Zac Smith will be a lone wolf as Rhys Stanley missed the cut and GWS had the sense to not let Dawson Simpson be their ruck, instead rushing back Rory Lobb.

CAPTAIN’S CALL

Captain’s call will be phased out this year (thank God, I was the kiss of death last year) as Post_MaSloane is stepping up on Wednesday’s to produce an in depth captain’s article. His first one is massive! Get it here. I will also throw Joel Selwood’s name into the ring for his 250th this weekend against Melbourne. Averages 119 in his past 5 against them and…

HEY NOW, YOU’RE A DRAFTSTAR!

Fantasy Insider are on board with us again in 2018. Daily fantasy is a lot of fun and has a different scoring system to SuperCoach that would make Kane Cornes a happy man. Gone are contested possessions, metres gained and pressure acts, instead focusing on 9 key areas.

Action Points Action Points Action Points
Kick 3 Tackle 4 Hit-out

1

Mark 3 Free kick for 1 Goal

6

Handball 2 Free kick against 3 Behind 1

 

Contests can range from single game contests to full round contests. The app is free to download and free to play, though of course if you jump into a paid contest the payout is higher. If you choose to go down this road don’t be stupid about it, only play with what you can afford. Remember it’s a bit of fun and if you find it’s making you frustrated, step away from it.

Here’s how Fantasy Insider’s famed Lineup Cruncher sees the YUUUUUGE Hawthorn v Collin

 

 

 

 

That’s just what Fantasy Insider think, but the game isn’t played on computers and spreadsheets. In these opening rounds there’s going to be debutants and returning premiums, it’s always a good idea to load up on them so you’re able to take advantage of the high priced stars. I’ve had a look at the lineups and picked out a few that could help.

Mason Cox – $9,250 – RK/FWD. His 12 possession, 4 goal game against the Western Bulldogs would have netted 100DS, if he can replicate that he’s a steal at $9250.

Jarman Impey – $8,300 – FWD. Boom or bust pick. Thought he had a good quarters across the JLT but tends to go missing. Will play across Hawks half-forward line.

James Sicily – $11,450 – DEF. The red mist occurs often for James. -3 for a free against and he’s likely to give away 5 or 6 on a good night. Yet he loves to kick it and can take a grab. High risk/high reward

Will “The Hyphen” Hoskin-Elliot – $12,400 – MID. Expecting a big year from The Hyphen as Collingwood are relying on him a lot more. Had 17 marks and 23 kicks across the JLT series, at +3 for each in Draftstars, his score will rise quickly.

Best of luck for round 1, Community. It’s an exciting time to be a fantasy coach. My scores took a dive when I wrote The Panic Room last year, so if it happens again we’re over, Patch. Finished. You hear me?!

TWITTER: SC_Kev7

Subscribe FREE to Jock's email alerts




newest oldest most voted
Notify of
Johno
Guest
Johno

Two of Lambert, Lobb and McLean?

Johno
Guest
Johno

Fml of course I picked Lambert

Rick Grimes
Guest
Rick Grimes

Don't panic, he scored plenty second half. Had a huge tank, ball just didnt go his way. On another day he gets 10 more touches and a couple of goals. I'm sticking fat.

Bells
Guest
Bells

Simpson and Lobb named on extended bench. I'm worried.

Tyruddanaut
Guest
Tyruddanaut

Only one will be named, the preferred is Lobb

harry pfluger
Guest
harry pfluger

do i go heeney, billings, mclean and walters or do i bring in devon smith for mclean?

Sana
Guest
Sana

Go with your gut Harry. Both have significant potential

Hoot
Guest
Hoot

Go Blues

harry pfluger
Guest
harry pfluger

stefan martin or nank?

Marty
Guest
Marty

Martin

RougheadNSheSwallows
Guest
RougheadNSheSwallows

Dow or LDU for Brodie? Carnage

hedski
Guest
hedski

Fogarty

GloryDays90
Guest
GloryDays90

I went with Hunter Clarke instead

RougheadNSheSwallows
Guest
RougheadNSheSwallows

Fog poor JS. Hunter it is, forgot about him haha, good call

hedski
Guest
hedski

They all have poor js, Fog is a machine.

Sana
Guest
Sana

LDU's JS would be best of the lot

BrownlowBoy
Guest
BrownlowBoy

Will Brodie how did he miss out

Tyruddanaut
Guest
Tyruddanaut

He’s just not that good. He played last year too and they haven’t liked him enough to keep going

David C
Guest
David C

Too many inside midfielders at GC hence Brodie and Barlow missing out.

Johno
Guest
Johno

Surely Brodie will be playing next week right? Is it wise to just leave him on the bench this week to save a trade?

GloryDays90
Guest
GloryDays90

Or you could just change him to Dow, LDU or Clark right now or during the round since its unlimited trades

Sana
Guest
Sana

Coffield and Brodie no love… hmmm

Avssss
Guest
Avssss

Nic Nat it Kruezer

TommyC99
Guest
TommyC99

FOgarty, Dow or Clark for Brodie?

RougheadNSheSwallows
Guest
RougheadNSheSwallows

Ive gone Clark

Finnius
Guest
Finnius

So have I at this stage.

Fisherdan
Guest
Fisherdan

Can't decide community.
Save a trade and keep Danger.
Or
Switch Danger to Parker and keep the 200k to get him when he plays?

GloryDays90
Guest
GloryDays90

Keep him, Danger will be back with a bang next game. Don't fall behind like everyone who traded him out will.

Finnius
Guest
Finnius

I have gone Danger to Ablett and then will trade him back after a couple of rounds… may change my mind by sunday though if he is firming for rd two and my rookie does ok.

hedski
Guest
hedski

PANIC PANIC PANIC!!!!

Derek
Guest
Derek

I’m a tea-pot, I’m a tea-pot

My big POD Barlow didn’t get picked. This is the universe telling me to get Cyril

hedski
Guest
hedski

Or Melksham!!!!

Pitch72
Guest
Pitch72

Don't do it Derek!

The Ranger
Guest
The Ranger

Yeah might just go and have a bit of a panic now Hedski.
No Danger and Kreuzer injured first game.
Hilarious.

hedski
Guest
hedski

Yep, having crazy thoughts like putting Cox f5 to cover Kreuz to save a trade.

WoW_Trevor
Guest
WoW_Trevor

I'm sorry for laughing at your dilemma; it was probably your suggested solution that caused my sides to rupture

hedski
Guest
hedski

Have Bundy f5 Trev, ya don't think Coxxie could do OK there while providing ruck support?
Ahhh ha ha ha ha. Shit my sides are gone too. Love this game.

Doc_1
Guest
Doc_1

Rhys Stanley an option at F5 for ruck cover?

hedski
Guest
hedski

Has a calf injury I think

Doc_1
Guest
Doc_1

Was in doubt with a calf but has been named at centre half forward.
Is tempting me.

hedski
Guest
hedski

He's pretty frail Doc

PANICKING
Guest
PANICKING

I am panicking please help me.

DEF: Laird, Hibberd, Howe, Naughton, Doedee, Murray (Finlayson, Keeffe)

MID: Titch, Oliver, Zerret, Fyfe, Cripps, AndyBrayshaw, Kelly, Barry (Banfield, Garlett, Holman)

RUC: Gawn, Nank (Olango)

FWD: Heeney, Greene, Billings, Smith, Sicily, Fritsch (Giles-Langdon, Ryan)

PLS HELP ME!!!

BrownlowBoy
Guest
BrownlowBoy

The pre season hype around Curnow died down… and he comes out firing!

Finnius
Guest
Finnius

Looking like a million bucks at the moment

WoW_Trevor
Guest
WoW_Trevor

46 point qrtr

Defying_Madness
Guest
Defying_Madness

I started without Garlett so I hope it doesn't burn me

Finnius
Guest
Finnius

Same…. 🙁

Finnius
Guest
Finnius

2 in the first fml.

Defying_Madness
Guest
Defying_Madness

I traded him out 30 seconds before the game which makes it even worse. It was pick Garlett or hope Keefe or Connor are named and I went with the latter.

WoW_Trevor
Guest
WoW_Trevor

Me too. He still might break half his joints are already heavily taped.

Finnius
Guest
Finnius

On 51 at HT… Far out

Bells
Guest
Bells

I put him onfield with the scientific reasoning he's a mature age player, he'll at least find it.
Looking good so far. Doesn't look the type to score well every week though. Hope those elastic bands hold him together.

WoW_Trevor
Guest
WoW_Trevor

hahahahaha @ Ladbrokes. Payup suckers

Finnius
Guest
Finnius

How good is Kreuzer?? pick of the year for mine if he stays fit and in only 6% of sides.

TommyC99
Guest
TommyC99

He is a hit out to advantage machine

Holty
Guest
Holty

I thought he was very unlucky not to be All Australian last year. He has been in and out of my team all preseason and opted not to start him. Think i might regret it

Instant Karma
Guest
Instant Karma

injured haha

Russty_
Guest
Russty_

Only an A-Hole would laugh at a good player getting injured.

Instant Karma
Guest
Instant Karma

Calm down Rust Balls, Was laughing at the irony of Finnius saying ''if he stays fit'' not the actual injury

Russty_
Guest
Russty_

I am calm, doesn't matter how you meant it to sound, either way it's a crap comment.

Instant Karma
Guest
Instant Karma

sorry comment police

Russty_
Guest
Russty_

Typical…no remorse, let me guess…you're young?

Instant Karma
Guest
Instant Karma

Shut up pussy

Instant Karma
Guest
Instant Karma

Coward

Russty_
Guest
Russty_

Negative A-Hole, would you like to continue with the name calling?

Instant Karma
Guest
Instant Karma

Eat my booty coward

Russty_
Guest
Russty_

You wish…Peodophile.

Instant Karma
Guest
Instant Karma

Delicious big bowl of hot brown soup

WoW_Trevor
Guest
WoW_Trevor

mate the coward line is pathetic when you're hiding behind your keyboard. I know your mum and next time she's rimming me I'm going to order her to suspend your internet

Instant Karma
Guest
Instant Karma

Listen here you coward. I’m 6”5 and 130kgs ripped. I’m a master of all martial arts. My parents are dead. I grew up on the streets of Tanzania. The jungle raised me. I am not a gay man, although I will not hesitate to ram my tongue up your booty #nohomo. Fear me, coward.

WoW_Trevor
Guest
WoW_Trevor

I absolutely crapping myself princess

Russty_
Guest
Russty_

lol, this guy's priceless Trev, very entertaining 🙂

WoW_Trevor
Guest
WoW_Trevor

I agree mate I love em

WoW_Trevor
Guest
WoW_Trevor

wtf

WoW_Trevor
Guest
WoW_Trevor

Thanks Finnius 'first comment of praise curse' applied so early in the game

Finnius
Guest
Finnius

Yeah sorry boys I'll cop that one on the chin

Russty_
Guest
Russty_

You're a jinx Finnius..nah not really mate…just a coincidence.

Lekdog
Admin

Why did you curse him!?

Shake_n_Bake_
Guest
Shake_n_Bake_

Hey Lekdog l was just reading your reasoning why you selected Kreuzz!! Im sure it said "Dont worry about his inj history" Little jinx there. Hope to those who did select him hes ok. Was working late last night and heard he was on fire untill then.

hedski
Guest
hedski

9 day break so hopefully he gets up.

Finnius
Guest
Finnius

might not be as bad as we think – if he came back then surely it can't be any worse…

hedski
Guest
hedski

Here's hoping, was looking like going big.

FearTheBeard
Guest
FearTheBeard

So do I trade Danger for Kelly?

Holty
Guest
Holty

Im going ablett. Kelly is a solid choice though

redherringfc
Guest
redherringfc

Picking Ablett is not a wise move. He will miss so many weeks throughout the season. Even if he goes injury free, they will rest him so often. If you really want him, buy him during the last 3rd of the sc season.

Nathan
Guest
Nathan

What is up with Kane Lambert? I've only seen him once in the first quarter and he hasn't touched it

GloryDays90
Guest
GloryDays90

I'm already thinking of trading him next week! PATHETIC!

Tyruddanaut
Guest
Tyruddanaut

One of my mates told me to get him…. I forgot and was rewarded

pod
Guest
pod

Hang onto him his work rate is elite.

hedski
Guest
hedski

Last minute league fellas 608303, 5 spots left 👍

GloryDays90
Guest
GloryDays90

Lambert Injured! FML season has already stuffed me…

GloryDays90
Guest
GloryDays90

Okay not injured. Just hasn't touched it!! Has run 3.5 k and has t touched it!!!! WtF

Nathan
Guest
Nathan

He has ran the third most distance tonight so surely not.

hedski
Guest
hedski

Cripps 38 Kreuz 51 Garlett 31 qtr time…nice.

Bells
Guest
Bells

Cornboy looks knackered – but does find the footy. Would help his scores if he laid a tackle or 2 every quarter.

hedski
Guest
hedski

Bloody gun

DavidSA
Guest
DavidSA

No panic here
After some weeks of thinking things over I can't get myself to be interested in SuperCoach this year.
My best memories of SuperCoach were the podcasts from Jock, Higgo and Crouching. They transformed a mediocre game into so much more.
I'm taking this year off too

hedski
Guest
hedski

So is your team going to be a zilch in the leagues your in? Should leave them so someone else can get in.
(Pretty sure your in a couple of the guys on here/Trev's place David?)

hedski
Guest
hedski

Onya Dave, Sry ya didn't wanna play but bloody honourable to jump out, hope ya back next year 👍

The_Blacksheep
Guest
The_Blacksheep

Was David in the Rat Pack. Who will fill that final spot?

hedski
Guest
hedski

Not sure sheep, i don't have the code its Gators league.

JohnDJ59
Guest
JohnDJ59

Just checked,it's full.

redherringfc
Guest
redherringfc

Chin up up buddy, you’ll get through it.

Maverick
Guest
Maverick

Would love to jump in if a spot frees up hedski

FearTheBeard
Guest
FearTheBeard

So do I trade Danger for Kelly?

😐

SirSamuel016
Guest
SirSamuel016

I'd say no but it's up to you. I'm keeping Danger in my side with the hopes he's only missing a week as given his form last season I don't think I can afford to not have him in. Kelly is a good replacement imo but if you have the money you could go up to someone like Tom Mitchell too who should score very well this season too.

Richie Porte
Guest
Richie Porte

L Murphy, Finlayson, S Murray, A Naughton. Have to leave one out, who

DacZawson
Guest
DacZawson

murphy

FearTheBeard
Guest
FearTheBeard

Which west coast lads u taking?

Waterman starting?

Venables?

Ryan?

Which 2 you guys thinking?

I have never seen these blokes some help be great!

Langdon as emergency makes me need to do a correction?

FearTheBeard
Guest
FearTheBeard

Cmon lads 😐

hedski
Guest
hedski

None at the moment

FearTheBeard
Guest
FearTheBeard

Who are you forward rookies?

hedski
Guest
hedski

Fritsch, Garlett, Langdon.
I'd take Venables if I had to.

HarryH
Guest
HarryH

For what I've researched on the WCE rookies….

Venables is the top pick. Been likened to Shuey. Think Ryan will be small fwd, limited scoring. But I know bugger all about Waterman sorry so going with Venables my end

FearTheBeard
Guest
FearTheBeard

Thanks mate just traded ryan to venables and giles to waterman seeing hes an emergency.

Right move?

I would move garlett down to forward and try bring in that Shipley to mid but hes already started so cant move garlett 😐

Northerner
Guest
Northerner

Waterman will be out as soon as JJK back

TommyC99
Guest
TommyC99

Giles – Langdon has been confirmed to debut this week

dan
Guest
dan

watch the highlights on youtube watermans goal kicking is terrible not a great trait for a tall forward. liam ryan is quick but he is a small forward. vennebles is a strong mid type seems to find space where there isnt any. good disposal. i reakon he will hold his spot over the other 2

Beezneez
Guest
Beezneez

I'm waiting till Sunday teams are named tonight at about 6:00. I currently have Giles-Langdon, Keeffe and Ryan in my team. Venables is probably the pick of the WC players although Waterman is named on field. Waterman is the son of Chris and is a lead up forward with strong hands and shows promise as a third tall. For me, I need to see who's actually named before making a decision. Murphy for Keeffe if Keeffe is out. T Kelly is also on an extended bench means will have to look at Constable, L Fogarty, Ainsworth Shipley and Bonar. Hunter… Read more »

BrownlowBoy
Guest
BrownlowBoy

Townsend is a bit of a flog?

hedski
Guest
hedski

Can kick straight BB.

BrownlowBoy
Guest
BrownlowBoy

Yes he can, has a beautiful kick on him.

Dice
Guest
Dice

he is the toughest bastard in the comp that bloke!

BrownlowBoy
Guest
BrownlowBoy

Don't think he tops Selwood and Hodge just yet…

GloryDays90
Guest
GloryDays90

Simpson has 93 at half time!!! OMFG!! Why didn't we pick him….

WoW_Trevor
Guest
WoW_Trevor

someone was saying something about teeth. we should have remembered that you don't use your teeth in footy. I'm rethinking heater now

Lekdog
Admin

He hasn’t played this role since 2016, including JLT…frustrating

Rick Grimes
Guest
Rick Grimes

Might cop a tag if he keeps dominating like that.

Soothsayer
Guest
Soothsayer

I have him, can’t tag him, the only Carlton player I pick every year, although joined by Cripps this season. He looks 25.

WoW_Trevor
Guest
WoW_Trevor

To few blues in my team I think 1 might not be enough. I might have a marchbank and a curnow if they continue at the same rate

GAZ
Guest
GAZ

Since Barlows not playing whio should i get Mundy or who i like Mundy but is there better option

Derek
Guest
Derek

Cyril

Jack
Guest
Jack

tempted to loophole Garlett with a non playing rookie especially with the lack of scoring ability with the forward rookies…

hedski
Guest
hedski

Gator, Shake and Brownlow Boy, you now have a spare spot in The Rat Pack, Up there Cazaly and SC Elites, Dave has fallen on his sword and freed up a spot, salute him community, done the right thing. <img draggable="false" class="emoji" alt="💂" src="https://s.w.org/images/core/emoji/2.4/svg/1f482.svg"&gt;

Shake_n_Bake_
Guest
Shake_n_Bake_

Tnx for the heads up Hedski but only just walked in from work.