Round 20 Supercoach Panic Room
I had a tearful phone call with Jock last night, community.
You know the sort, we’ve all had them. The type of phone call that starts at midnight in hysterics, which leads to a 1am discussion of why life is pointless and meaningless and ends some time after 2am, where time no longer has meaning and all the pain and hurt disappears into fatigue, and the line between consciousness and sleep blurs more than Fev’s vision after 18 cold ones at the 2009 Brownlow.
I haven’t made finals. In fact, I was stone cold last in three of my leagues. I no longer have any trades. Most of my trades this year – many made while out of the country, with no more of a cursory glance at the numbers – make Collingwood’s Chris Mayne deal look like the trade of the century.
But he told me, you know what he said, deep into the morning? He told me “Patch, you need to rise out of the carnage. You’ve got to take this year, take the carnage that’s befallen your potatoes and all the vegetables in your side, and you’ve got to become a ravenous snarling beast, desperate to make amends, he told me, my tears gentle tapping on the tiles of the bathroom.
You’ve got to become carnagverous. I’m a huge avocado for the English Language, and all its linguini beauty. I could hear his moustache bristling. Something stirred within me, something that made me overlook the feeling that some of the words he was saying weren’t words. Something primal. The word carnagerous – a meat eater – comes straight from the word carnage. It symbolises the mess you’re going to make of 2018’s flesh. Tear ‘em a new one, mate.
It was beautiful. I mean my dog has a better grasp of words than he does, but it was beautiful nonetheless. If anything can inspire you this week, when our midfield benches are as bad as they’ve ever been, that can.
— Darrell ⚪ (@davies_darrell) August 3, 2017
Let’s go, community. Take the carnage and… um… do… do the thing? The thing that stops the carnage doing the carnage thingy? Yeah, that.
It’s bad. It’s quite bad.
In case you’ve been living under a rock, where the rock was hiding in a cave, several kilometres underground, dressed as a slightly rockier rock and hidden under Richmond’s 2017 Premiership chances, you’ll know Patrick Dangerfield has been suspended for one match. We’ll discuss this more in The Patch Up.
Sydney captain Josh P Kennedy is missing this week with a quad strain, which is just kicking us while we’re down. He’s had a putrid season, and it’s a decent excuse as any to flick him from our sides.
Ruck revelation Jarrod Witts has done his shoulder and will miss a week or two. Flick him for either Max Gawn or the retuning Shane Mumford or Todd Goldstein and make some coin.
Connor Blakely has done a shoulder and is out for the season, fresh of a Lekdog curse, and his teammate Sean Darcy has been rested, which may hurt some.
The kingpin of the Giants’ forward line, Jeremy Cameron, has been sidelined yet again with a hamstring niggle, while lingering cover Mitch Hannan and Ben Ainsworth will miss.
Further pain on the rookie front lies in GWS due Will Setterfield and Harry Perryman missing, making way for Brett ‘Oh yeah, Football’ Deledio to debut for the Giants.
Also Bob Murphy will miss with… “travelling emergency”?! What the hell is that? Bob, at this stage of the season, you’re injured or you’re not. It’s not a case of “oh, if you need me, pop me in.” That’s not how this works. Even Brett Deledio had more creative ways of getting out of football.
Sunday teams may also bring more pain with Hugh Greenwood, Shai Bolton, Malcolm Karpany, Matt White and Dan Houston all in precarious positions.
There is a smattering of good news, however, with Jake Lloyd returning for the Swans, Matt Kreuzer named despite concerns over concussion, Dayne Zorko’s return from suspension and the return of The Prid. Also, Gary Ablett is allegedly returning. I’m sceptical.
And it wouldn’t be the teams without debutants, who have extraordinarily difficult names to make fun of in Jack Graham and Corey Maynard. I’m going to throw this one open to the comments, I’m on struggle street.
THE PATCH UP
What to do with Paddy? That’s the question on everyone’s lips this week, and for 50% of you, the answer will be to hold. The fact is, Danger is the highest-averaging player in Supercoach by nearly 15 points. If you’ve got the double chance in your league, absolutely hold him. 100%.
If you need to win your game this week, have a very close look at your opponent’s side. Do your research. Try and suss them out at work today. If you reckon you can win by holding Dangerfield, hold. If you think you’ve got them covered, hold. If they’re holding, hold.
As Lekdog said this week, if you’ve got 4 trades or more, or you’re hunting for rank, you can move him on.
“Danger can now be turned into two 110+ players (assuming you have trades and a potential upgrade like Adelaide’s Greenwood) which in the longterm…well the next four weeks, will net you more points than simply holding onto Danger. You name a player in the competition and you can turn Dangerfield into that man, just as Jock turned Gatorade into VB.”
I like Lek’s suggestion of
Brad Matt Crouch*, and Dustin Martin is a must if you don’t have him. Otherwise Dayne Beams and Dayne Zorko are both excellent options.
*as Lek has kindly informed me, I have Crouch-induced dyslexia. Whenever I say one, assume I mean the other.
HEY NOW, YOU’RE A DRAFT STAR
An enthralling contest this Sunday, with the Tigers and the Hawks doing battle at the MCG. As Higgo noted yesterday, the Tigers have scored the least number of DraftStars points per game in 2017. As such, I’m going with 6 Hawks in my lineup, and 3 Tigers.
The three Tigers, potential debutant Jack Graham, captain Trent Cotchin and forward Kane Lambert, all present value. Cotchin has been in brilliant form this year, and is the best midfielder I can afford after splashing 17.5k on Tom Mitchell, who – as a fantasy pig – is an absolute must-have this week. Graham has been racking up numbers in the VFL, with 26 possessions and 7 tackles last week, while Lambert seems to fly under the radar and kick a few snags on his day.
— Jock Reynolds (@jock_reynolds) August 3, 2017
Most of the value (aside from Titch) can be found in the brown and gold, with Conor Glass, Ryan Burton and Will Langford presenting value. Big Boy (WOW-WEE) McEvoy should also dominate this week, after playing out of his skin last week.
Who are your picks, community?
Isn’t it exciting? Can’t you feel the thrall of not having Dangerfield to slap the VC or the C on? Like the wind in your hair, something new, something exciting, something dangerous? Doesn’t it just thrill you, the prospect of picking someone else?
Oh. Okay then. Whatever. Fine. It’s just me then.
We’ve got more captaincy options than you can poke a stick at this week, but there’s always the chance whatever you poke with a stick is actually rancid and will quite literally kill you as it blows up in your face. So let’s look at a few of them from a safe distance, shall we? Remember, DO NOT RIDE THE BOMB.
Oh for fu- what did I JUST say?
The first bomb that could blow up in our faces is Nat Fyfe. After the worst start to a season since he entered Beast Mode, Fyfe was terrible until the week after I traded him out (YOU’RE WELCOME, BY THE WAY.) Since then, he’s averaged 114, and is coming off a 132. With a dilapidated Gold Coast at home, he could be a handy Saturday night VC.
Brad Crouch has led the way for the Crows since Rory Sloane copped several tags right to his gorgeous, Owen Wilson-esque face, several weeks in a row. As Lek pointed out in his fantastic cheat sheet, he hasn’t dropped below 100 since round 9, and in the Showdown could stand up for the last game of the round. That is if you have him, mind you.
Joel Selwood is a viable candidate for VC down at Skilled Stadium, but keep in mind his last few scores down there have been with Dangerfield in the side.
Joel Selwood’s last 3 games at Skilled (excluding being knocked out) are 126, 134 and 151. Very likely VC candidate for the Potatoes.
— Patch (@PatchToTheMax) August 3, 2017
Melbourne midfield maestro Clayton Oliver is coming off a 170 last week against North, has averaged 127 in his last 3, and unlike nearly every captaincy option this year *glares at Sloane, Bont* hasn’t dropped below 80 all year.
And of course, Dustin Martin is the undeniable option for captaincy this week. I don’t actually have any notes on him, I simply wrote “HE’S JUST REALLY GOOD AT FOOTBALL, OKAY?” all over my page of captaincy options. So if that’s anything to go by, he’ll probably treat you well on Sunday.