Winter is coming.
No, I’m wrong. Winter is here. We’re deep in the howling depths that is winter, erasing all hope. This week was to be a counterpoint to last, discussing the successes; the good trades, the smart moves and, for this year especially, the significant non-selections we’ve made to make this year good.
But our hopes, dreams and – most importantly, trades are lying motionless in the snow as the wolves bear down on us.
It’s time to panic.
Why, that’s a nice midfield you got there… it would be a shame if something were to… happen… to it, wouldn’t it?
We’ll start at the top. Scott Pendlebury has had surgery on his finger and will miss this week, most likely next week and potentially weeks after that. He’s gotta go.
Captaincy option of the century*, Patrick Dangerfield, will miss. He’s been named, he’ll miss. Listed as no more than 40% chance, the Cats won’t risk him as they gear up for a huge run at September.
Remember that time I heralded the death of Gary Ablett as a Supercoach option, and he came back a week later and scored 159? He’s got a hamstring niggle. Another one. Coinciding with an interstate trip. He’ll miss this week, maybe next week and I’d wager nearly every interstate trip on the run home. Bye, Gary.
Rory Sloane has been named. I still reckon he’ll miss because winter has come and hope is dead and if anything can go wrong this round IT WILL GO WRONG. Which is why I don’t trust Geelong for naming Scott Selwood.
Stephen Coniglio is back for GWS, which is good news for the 330 teams that have him, and the 5 teams who traded him in this week (WHO ARE YOU?! WHY?)
Forgotten midfielder Jack Trengove is back for Melbourne, and in other news forgotten midfielder Jack Trengove is still on Melbourne’s list.
Moving along into the ruckline now, where everything looks lovel- oh wait no it’s bad and everything is on fire because Todd Goldstein has been dropped. Yes, Todd Goldstein, 2015’s best ruck by the length of the Flemington straight, is kaput. Splat. Gone. Dropped like a sack of potatoes. A truly Will Minson style fall from grace.
Into the backline where more things are on fire and screaming and burning and on fire, rookies Luke Ryan and Brennan Cox have been dropped. The Ramsay Bolton of the Supercoach world, Ross Lyon of House Anchor (whose words are ‘This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things’) have suspended the two for getting on the grog after Freo’s last game.
This is actually fair enough on Ross’ behalf BUT WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE THIS WEEK?!?!?!?!? WHYYYYYYYYYY??? AAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH
*me, dead, in the burning and on fire waiting room of hell*
Clerk: “the devil will see you now”
*goes through door*
Ross Lyon: “Hello Patch” https://t.co/r21RDj1Gyi
— Patch (@PatchToTheMax) July 20, 2017
Rookie Mitch Hibberd because who needs defensive cover anyway? I mean I didn’t want any. I just want a late out from someone to punch a nice big donut in my backline because WHY NOT, HEY? WHY. NOT. See if I care.
Anyone still have Joel Smith? I feel like you should be rewarded if you’ve held him this long but he’s been dropped because Supercoach hates you and everything you hold dear. Including Josh Smith, who’s been dropped, just like your expected score.
Jake Lever is out, which won’t bother anyone who isn’t a fanatical Adelaide fan or ME, who has the bastard in Supercoach Draft and a bench full of injury. Isn’t that just PEACHY, eh?
I don’t even want to look at the forward line. It’ll explode the second I make eye contact, so if I just leave the door shut, we’re going to pretend Elliot Yeo is back and no-one of significance has been dropped. Now if we all believe hard enough, when we open the door, it’ll all be fine. On three: one, two, three.
Oh wow, would you look at that! Everything’s just wonderful in here. We’ve got some new debutants, no-one’s been dropped, Jarryd Waite is back, and Jack Watts, and so is… wait where’s Jeremy Cameron? GUYS. WHO WASN’T BELIEVING HARD ENOUGH? Oh come on, he’s my F2. I can’t believe you’ve done this to me.
And of course, after slaving away over so few rookies during the first half of the year, we see a whole swathe of debutants named in the back end of the season. Just in time to ruin their prices for 2018. ISN’T THIS JUST DANDY, HEY? Literally the only positive is I’ve started making fun of their names (which in hindsight is a mean thing to be doing, but know I love you all).
— Kevin Horton (@SC_Kev7) July 20, 2017
Lining up for their first games this week are Nick ‘Ma’ Larkey for North Melbourne, Jack ‘I Should Have Been A Pirate’ Scrimshaw for Gold Coast, Conor ‘Someone Stole My Other N’ Glass for Hawthorn, Rowan ‘My Boat’ Marshall for St Kilda, and GWS pair Will ‘Most English Name Of The Year – 1998’ Setterfield and Isaac ‘I Bet You Thought There’d Be A Sex Joke Here’ Cumming.
And I’m done. EDITS:
The 5pm teams are in, and Sam Mitchell is missing as well, suffering from Old Man Syndrome. He’ll coach this week instead. Matt Scharenberg has done something to get on the wrong side of Nathan Buckley as he’s been dropped AGAIN (our poor backlines) which is doing my head in. Isaac Cumming won’t play, but Carlton young gun Harry ‘You’re A Wizard Harry’ McKay will.
It’s been a tough week, and I’ve only got a single, solitary trade left. Someone please hold me, stroke my hair and tell me it’ll all be okay. Please.
THE PATCH UP
Last week I gave massive wraps for Brisbane superstar Dayne Zorko and he repayed me with a 55 point disaster against Richmond. So when I say my point of difference selection to replace Scott Pendlebury is Carlton’s very own Bryce Gibbs, take a Jock Reynold’s testicle-sized grain of salt with that.
Gibbs is averaging 112, which included a mammoth 208 against Gold Coast five weeks ago. Since breaking the double ton, Gibbs scored 101, 142, 99 and 96. His detractors will say if you take the 208 out, he’s averaging 102.
They’d be right, but would also be omitting a very crucial factor. He did score that 208. He won’t hit that again, but Gibbs has only dropped below 91 a single time this year (in round 2) and has been consistent in a way very few have been this year *glares at The Bont and Sloane*
He’s also in form on the run home, has a decent run home and at 618k, isn’t unaffordable. He’s also in 2.2% of sides. I’d take Tom Mitchell – and probable Lachie Neale – ahead of him, but one that’s slipped under the radar this week.
As for trading out Dangerfield? I’m with Jock on this one with a soft no.
— Jock Reynolds (@jock_reynolds) July 20, 2017
I won’t be, but if you are trading him out, you need a detailed, researched and fact checked plan of how to get him back into your side. And a backup plan. And a backup for the backup. Because if you don’t, and he cranks out 160s to finish the year, you get left in the dust.
Hello old friend. We haven’t seen you for a while. Todd The Rod Goldstein. What do we do with him? How long will he be back in the twos? Does he even want to play footy?
Look, he probably does. I’m sure he’s as disappointed in his form as we are. I’m sure he’ll be back before the end of the season, and what’s more, he’ll be back next week. Because Brayden Pruess hasn’t been named – he’s had back issues – and Majak Daw has been thrust into the solo ruck spot. And Tommy Bellchambers will tear him apart.
We saw Belch turn Tom Hickey inside out last week, where he returned what was probably the worst individual game of the season, and Majak isn’t a much better ruckman than Hickey is. They won’t keep Daw as the solo ruck for long, just long enough to show him North want to keep him, and short enough that North don’t get accused of tanking. Which equates to a week.
So, do we trade? It’s too late in the season to put up with this crap. If you’ve got the trades to spare, send him packing and trade him in for Shane Mumford for all the reasons mentioned in the podcast.
HEY NOW, YOU’RE A DRAFT STAR
As Higgo said during the podcast this week: you have to risk it for the biscuit. That’s my theme this week in Draftstars.
I see the Eagles getting up over the Pies this week, despite their impressive record when Daniel Wells is playing. Their season is on the line, and if they want to play finals, the Westerners need to win this one – so I’ve stacked my side full of them.
A West Coast win means Josh J Kennedy will score, and score big. Lock. Liam Duggan had a breakout game last week, and should do more good work at ground level on Sunday. Elliot Yeo on a return from illness should similarly see action.
On the Collingwood side of things, going in without Brodie Grundy is idiocy. Lock him in. I’m also gambling on Steele Sidebottom stepping into the Pendlebury void, simply because the foot skills of Taylor Adams and Adam Treloar (whose names sound better then they flow into each other) are abhorrent.
Lewis Jetta and Will Schofield aren’t going to score much. I know this, but they’re cheap enough to let me get the players I need – hopefully if West Coast dominate, they can steal a few cheap points on the outside.
Who are you feeling this week?
This is getting very long, this week’s panic room. So, let’s keep this short and snappy – or we would, if DANGERFIELD WASN’T MISSING. UGH. We’re going to end up longer than Barron’s rookie report at this rate – and Barron’s rookie report has the advantage of having useful information in it. This is just memes and me shouting at stuff.
If Danger plays, shove the VC on him. If not, vice captaincy options this week include: Joel Selwood, who averaged 125 against the Crows, Zach Merrett, who scored 130 the last time he played North, Tom Mitchell, who’s averaging 131 from his last 3, and the unstoppable Michael Hurley, who gets to run off a rusty Jarryd Waite and rack up another 30 touches and a 130.
For captaincy, we’ve got the Carlton boys (Kruezer, Gibbs and Docherty) who all love playing the Lions and are projected to hit 125 or so. Additionally, you could pick my boy in Dayne Zorko and pray to whatever god you believe in that he doesn’t let you down.
I’m personally going VC Zach Merrett into captain Sam Docherty. Who are you thinking of this week, community? How impacted is your midfield? How are you coping with the arrival of the Supercoach winter? – and that’s not an invitation to post Game of Thrones spoilers. You have been warned.
Best of luck, community!
Twitter : @PatchToTheMax