I landed on Sunday, very happy to be back in the wide, brown land of ours.
Back to footy. Back to my dog. Normal sounding accents. Good coffee. Back to a land with Barbie Mates – seriously, New Zealand, pull ya heads in ya drongos – GET BARBIE MATES.
Then three things happened. I checked my supercoach side, I went to work and Margaret Court opened her mouth. Two of these things reminded me of how nice it was to not be in the country, and checking my supercoach side reminded me the consequences of leaving the country during footy season.
But – all is not lost. Draftstars has popped up this weekend, and I for one am loving the appeal of a game where all your bad decisions from previous weeks don’t carry over, because my side is littered with bad decisions and half-baked schemes. I can go to a pub and play CoachKings. Things are not all terrible. Just mostly terrible.
Speaking of terrible, let’s get into the news!
It was a surprisingly dull week on the news front, which means all my pre-prepared jokes about International Donut Day will go to waste.
The two big-ticket items are the return of Aaron Sandilands and Gary Ablett. Sandiballs has been named in the ruck, but keep an eye on him in the lead up to Sunday’s match, but Ablett should be ready to go.
Eagles spearhead, Josh J. Kennedy will miss for the Eagles – but we already knew that. Rookie Malcolm Karpany also makes way. Eric McKenzie comes in, which means Jeremy McGovern may play up forward.
May god have mercy on us all https://t.co/EWy9iTonhW
— AlexieLekdogBeovich (@LekBlog) June 1, 2017
Dan Butler returns for the Tiges, and bubble boy Shai Bolton has kept his spot alongside him. However, the Tigers are running with 5 smalls up forward, so I’m not sure where that leaves their structure (and Bolton’s job security) going forward.
The pre-season’s love child Luke Ryan has FINALLY been named by Ross… in the last spot on Freo’s extended bench. I had Nat Fyfe take this photo of me while I eavesdropping on Fremantle’s selection meeting this week.
Tom Scully is back at the expense of Tim Mohr, rookie Jordan Curnico has been dropped and… well that’s about it. Thursday Night footy’s team news was boring as anything as both Port and Hawthorn went in unchanged, as did Adelaide and North Melbourne.
THE PATCH UP
If there was ever a time when sides needed patching up, it was the bye rounds. Which is why I wanted to chuck up some reviews of blokes playing every game through the byes – guys from Port and Gold Coast who could be nice little PODs.
But half of them are now locked out, due to the AFL’s persistent attempts to make my life as hard as possible ever since I kinda ran over Gil’s dog with my car*. Sorry Donald, but THIS is the single greatest witch hunt in history. I’m going to power through anyway, but remember – I wrote this last night at about 6, intending for it to be ready by 7. Including the Charlie Dixon writeup.
*well, replace the word ‘kinda’ with ‘repeatedly’, and the word ‘dog’ with ‘son’
Like a Cheat Sheet Lite, I’m going to list someone from every line who can help you get through the byes.
DEF – Jarrod Harbrow ($474,400) – currently sitting in my (very POD heavy) backline due to Lek’s masterful sighting of him a few weeks ago, Harbrow has quietly averaged 95 this season, with 5 tons from his 7 games. Playing a rebounding role with stints on the wing, he’s been incredibly consistent and is still very cheap. Possibly not a lock for a top 6 defender spot, but playing every game through the byes gives him a one up on others in the same bracket.
MID – Gary Ablett ($611,800) – the GOAT of the modern era (from a fantasy perspective anyway) is staggeringly cheap. For someone who can average 130 when fit and firing, I’d almost consider Gary a must-have at this price. He’s been amassing the pill like no-one’s business, and with another week off, he’s primed to rip back into the contest and grab clearances, tackles, contested possessions and whatever else it is Champion Data use to create Supercoach scores now. Only at 9% ownership, too.
RUC – Paddy Ryder ($508,00) – after a slow start to the year, Paddy is averaging 107 in his last three and is singlehandedly driving Port Adelaide’s revival. With the added bonus of DPP and finding match fitness, Port also play 8 of their next 13 at home. Which is awkward considering he’s now locked out from being traded in. Damn you, Gil!
FWD – Tom Lynch ($462,00) – while Tom still has a price drop to come, I’d look to bring him in this week if you need to cover donuts. While he hasn’t torn the competition apart like he threatened to this year, that’s partly due to playing for Gold Coast, who have been woeful. So why is he being considered? Because all the forwards this year beyond Dahlhaus, Macrae and Yeo have been dreadful. Shaun Higgins is like the 10th averaging forward of those who’ve played more than 3 games. Lynch is cheap, will play every game and is an absolute jet – if Gold Coast finally get their sh*t together, he could be anything.
SMOKIE – Charlie Dixon ($508,500) – In a shocking year for forwards, sometimes we have to turn to those beyond our mortal coil. That is where Charlie Dixon, who sadly passed away a few years ago, only to be reanimated by the Port Adelaide Football Club, may come into the play. Dixon is averaging 95 points a game this year and 103 over the past 5 rounds, putting him the 14th best forward in the league by total points. It’d be a brave fantasy footballer to pick him, but with high scores of 131 and 155 and a revitalised Port Adelaide, I’m keeping a very close eye on him.
Pity he and his 160 are locked out for this week though. Have I mentioned how much I hate Thursday Night Football?
FREE DRAFTSTARS CONTEST THIS SUNDAY
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’d have noticed we’ve got a big community only DraftStars contest on this Sunday, and the Father of Fantasy wants to give us some pointers – make sure you also check out Higgo’s surpurb post last night as well!
Jump onboard the contest, support the community and try to get your hands on some of the cash folks! Back to Panic business..
EVERYTHING’S DIGGING UP MILHOUSE
Everything’s coming up Milhouse
If you aren’t trading in Hugh Greenwood this week: go get your noggin cleaned out, you absolute bell-end. With a breakeven of -107, he is the must-have cash generation machine of the week. I’m with Higgo in that I think Scott Selwood will disappoint many through either form or injury, but judging from how my gut’s treated me this year I’d trust it as far as I could throw it.
Blokes with *asterisks* have the bye this week, and those with exclamation marks! have only played the one game, so give ‘em another week.
-104 – Hugh Greenwood
-74 – James Cousins!
-48 – Scott Selwood
-41 – Shai Bolton
-34 – Matt Scharenberg!
-27 – Mitch Hannan*
-25 – Jordan Cunico (who’s been dropped)
-9 – Daniel Lloyd
11 – Jake Barrett*
11 – Matt Perryman
Dig up, stupid!
Couple of big names floating around this list, with Zach Merrett and Elliot Yeo looking to dip in price, so we can snaffle them up after their byes. Stefan Martin may also plummet in price if Archie Smith keeps getting games, and I’m keeping an eye on him for when Archie heads back to the NEAFL.
178 – Lachie Neale
163 – Jake Lloyd
156 – Marcus Bontempelli
155 – Tom J Lynch
145 – Zach Merrett
145 – Matt Priddis
137 – Stefan Martin
137 – Elliot Yeo
And so we come, as we always do, to everyone’s favourite superhero – Captain McCaptainface. Faster than a speeding bullet, as strong as a locomotive and he can leap entire donuts in a single bound!
Which is a good thing this week, as today is international donut day, just as the first week of the byes are upon us.
— Adam ‘Warnie’ Child (@WarnieDT) May 31, 2017
If this isn’t proof of a cabal of world leaders scheming to run the world, I don’t know what is. IT’S A CONSPIRACY, IT IS. Anyway, speaking of conspiracies, getting Geelong to play 27 of their last 13 games (or something like that) of their games at Simmonds Stadium is a recipe for Joel Selwood to go huge.
— Fantasy Freako (@FantasyFreako) May 31, 2017
He’s my VC choice this week, despite Paddy Dangerfield coming off the back of two 150+ scores. For those bringing in Rory Sloane this week, he only averages 102 against the Cats, and an even worse 82 at Simmonds. Good trade-in option, but I’d pass on the VC.
Otherwise, the sensible choice would be to go with Scott Pendlebury or Dustin Martin as captain this week, as both are rather good footballers. Pendles in particular averages 112 out west, while Dusty averages 110 against the Roos.
If you’re mad as a cut snake, Josh Kelly could tear the Bombers a new one for the 9.4% of you that have him. Averaging 118 over his past three, and playing at home against a bombers midfield that genuinely have no clue how to play defensively, he could rack up a record number of clearances – especially if Mummy gets up and going. Speaking of, Shane Mumford wouldn’t be a terrible POD captaincy option either.