It’s time to batten down the hatches, team. The Gods are angered. Not content with giving us underperforming premo’s, we now have injuries to popular players and some MRP shenanigans to deal with. But before we get to that…
I’ve heard from Patch and he’s absolutely living it up across the ditch in Hobbitland. He gave me some great advice on where to buy a hammock (the hammock complex on third). He was also kind enough to take some time out of his regime to send across a postcard to the bungalow. I swiped it off Jock’s desk and um… I don’t know what to make of it. I’ll let you be the judge.
Everything was not awesome for plenty of coaches last week (Hello! ♂️) Many struggled to scrape together 1950, while those that avoided the carnage got a good kick up the rankings. Without knowing precisely what the problem was, would I say it’s time for our readers to crack each other’s heads open and feast on the goo inside?
Yes I would, community.
Time to PANIC!
The SuperCoach higher power is kicking us while we’re down this week. Flat out refusing to allow us to downgrade our crappy rookies to generate meagre cash. At the start of the week the MRP threw us a curveball, handing out one and two week bans to Nankervis and Greene respectively. Coupled with losing Parfitt (8-10 weeks) and Zac Fisher (1 week) to hamstring injuries, it was already shaping up to be a difficult week (again).
Then came that fateful Wednesday night. They say you remember exactly where you were and what you were doing when disaster strikes. I’d just polished off a game of Fifa17, a solid 3-1 win against West Brom. Pogba scored a double. I opened up Twitter and the first 20-odd posts were details of Dayne Beams’ quad injury. Shit. He’ll miss two, but “Dayne Beams” + “quad injury” are not words you want to see side-by-side.
In team news, Coniglio line up for his first game of 2017 tonight. He’s worth watching. Eleven of his 13 tons in 2016 were 110+. Harrison Himmelberg will also play his first match of the year. You can scratch him off your downgrade list though as he played 4 games at the back end of 2016. As such his price sits at 275k.
North have rested Simpkin for their clash against Adelaide. The Crows will go in unchanged.
Time out has ended for Jordan De Goey at Collingwood. He can stay with the first team as long as he eats his vegetables and knows that he is a very bad boy. Carlton have lost Fisher (hamstring) and J.Silvagni (shoulder) to injury.
Still no Brett Eddy at Port. Travis Boak has recovered from injury and will return. West Coast have named an unchanged lineup, but will take all three emergencies across to Adelaide Oval as fitness clouds hang over Nathan Vardy and Liam Duggan. Watch for McInnes (155k DEF/FWD) to come in if Vardy doesn’t get up.
Gold Coast are giving us Brad Scheer among four inclusions. Dave Swallow also returns. Fiorini and Bowes are among the outs. Parsons is back for Geelong, but we’ve lost backline staple Tom Stewart.
Matty Boyd is back for the Dogs. Ivan Soldo will debut for the Tigers. Though I expect him to be straight back out again when Nank has served his week off.
In Sunday games; Sydney and Brisbane will see at least six changes between them. Barrett has been named on field and will play. Foote, Florent, and Josh Clayton are amongst the ins but on the extended bench. As is Nic Newman.
Jesse Hogan returns to face the Hawks after the passing of his father, while the Hawks idea of “catastrophic change” is to do absolutely nothing. They’ve added Cyril, Birchall, and Whitecross to the squad.
Essendon have made so many changes I’m struggling to get my head around it. The big ones are Jobe, McNiece, and McGrath being rested for the trip west. Myers has been named on field and will play, potential debutants Stewart and Mutch are on an extended bench
Go away! We’ve got bigger problems now.
Far greater fantasy minds than mine have given you advice on how to deal with Nankervis. I’m holding.
Just quietly, is it time to talk about a return of Big Boy McEvoy to SuperCoach relevance? 125 on the weekend makes his three round average 114. A clear beneficiary of third man up being scrapped, he is averaging 11 more hitouts and three more possessions compared to 2016.
For any that missed last week, the Eddie Murphy/Dan whatshisname has been replaced by “Everything’s coming up, Milhouse!” for those on the way up, while “Dig up, stupid!” is for those in a deep, dark hole of Paddy Dangerfield-sized crapness. We’ve got four rookies on the bubble this week. Parsons is my pick of the bunch.
Everything’s Coming Up, Milhouse!
-68 – Aaron Black
-59 – James Parsons
-49 – Lewis Melican
-47 – Harley Balic
-36 – EVW
-29 – Blake Hardwick
-24 – Tom Williamson
-23 – Jake Barrett
0 – SPP
4 – Mitch Hannan
Dig Up, Stupid!
206 – Tom Rockliff
177 – Patrick Dangerfield
164 – Marc Murphy
153 – Stef Martin
152 – Zac Merrett
148 – Brodie Grundy
147 – Dayne Zorko
146 – Luke Shuey
145 – JPK
144 – Ollie Wines
141 – Nat Fyfe
Barron von Crow keeps delivering the goods for all your rookie needs, Lek’s cheat sheet last week was absolutely bang on. Get this weeks edition here. Also upgrade season is fast approaching, while our rookies aren’t as fat and juicy as in previous years, the fallen premo is still a thing. Jock cast his eye over some of the options this week. There’s plenty!
— Jock Reynolds (@jock_reynolds) May 2, 2017
In hindsight naming this segment Captain’s Call was destined for disaster. Tony Abbott’s captain’s call was ridiculed and unnecessary, just like this turned out to be.
If you followed my, uh… “wisdoms” and whacked the VC on Buddy, he was towelled up by Silvagni and could only manage 82. No problem, #FyfeIsLyf, right? No, oh God, no. Fyfe is just not life so far this year, throwing together dismal 62. To make things much, much worse our perma-cap put up 65 and Selwood was completely blanketed by Greenwood. Congrats if you had the stones to whack the armband on Gaz! Am I against shameless self promotion? See below.
Reminiscing over the simpler times in life when Gaz was perma-cap and Fyfe didn't take a steaming dump on your SuperCoach midfield
— Kevin Horton (@SC_Kev7) April 29, 2017
Some Pies are on my radar for VC this week. Collingwood play early Saturday arvo against the Blues and a certain dependable(bery) averages 137 in his last 8 against them. Rory Sloane is in scary form and has a handy record against North. Nick Riewoldt plays on the Friday night and has three scores above 120 in his 5 games against GWS.
Cats have the Suns on Saturday night. Look for them to bounce back, in particular Dangerfield and Selwood. After Sloane completely torched Richmond’s midfield, The Bont should be strongly considered by his owners. He has scored 140 and 142 in his two games against Richmond and averages 114 at Etihad this year.