G’day community. Kev here. Welcome. Grab a seat, grab a cookie, grab yourself, I don’t mind. Keep your hands, feet, and any other appendages inside the Panic Room at all times for your own safety.
Our Prince of Panic™, Patch, has jetted off to New Zealand for a few weeks and I know what you’re all thinking. A holiday in April?!! Come on. Wasn’t he kicking back on the Murray River the other week? He’s chucked me the keys to this baby because of my “encyclopaedic knowledge of Simpsons quotes” and there really should be more jobs out there that have the same criteria to be honest.
Now let’s get straight the hot issues. Is Patch really in New Zealand? I have my doubts. This just popped up in my inbox and if you squint really hard and cover your left eye it’s definitely him. Even the beard and everything. So is Patch actually the head of an evil organisation? Yes. Does he carry around sugar in his pockets? That’s classified.
After the absolute rookie carnage last week we’ve been thrown a bone this week. Even Ross has stepped up to the plate. You’ve read that right community. Ross “Bloody” Lyon has brought back bubble boy Harley Balic for the injured Stephen Hill. So, I dunno, do we be nice to him now?
Zac Fisher is another on the bubble this week after scores of 74 and 51. As is Blake Hardwick after solid contributions of 63 and 65. A handful of rookies will line up for their second game, including Melican (68 last week), Vickers-Willis (51), Black (102), and Ben NcNiece (61). In other rookie news, Tim Smith will miss with a nasty rib injury and West Coast have handed a debut to Kurt Mutimer. A MID only in SuperCoach, he was taken at pick #57 in the 2015 draft.
There’s a lot of changes this week, strap yourselves in. The Dogs have given Matty Boyd a spell for Friday nights clash against the Giants. Tim Taranto is straight back in after his rest.
Hawthorn have resisted the urge to rush back in Tyrone Vickery, baffling that, instead investing in that good sticky tape from Bunnings and fixing up JOM’s knee. Though they’ve lost Cyril to a hip complaint for their clash against the Saints. Koby Stevens will play his first game as a Saint, Ben Long as earned his rest after averaging 25 points so far. Billy Longer has kept Hickey out for another week.
Carlton have dropped three rookies among four outs, Polson, Macreadie, and Pickett making way. Kreuzer returns for those that held. Sydney have made three changes. The most SuperCoach relevant being the return of Nic Newman (!!!) and giving Jordan Foote the night off.
Aidyn Johnson is out after a decent showing last week. Boak has done his hammy and will be out for a bit. Brisbane made some changes but they don’t include bringing back Jake Barrett.
There will be no Swallow’s lining up in the North v GC match. Andrew has been dropped and David is being “rested” (dropped). The Ultimate Burnman, Shaun Higgins, makes his triumphant return. Braydon Preuss has been named as an emergency despite Goldstein’s dodgy ankle.
Sam Mitchell is back and will line up for his first derby.
For the Sunday teams, Essendon have decided against rushing back David Myers, instead adding James Stewart to the extended bench. Their outs shouldn’t affect you. The Dees have Lewis back after his left hook cost him three weeks on the sidelines, Mitch Hannan is back to continue to disappoint you and Cam Pedersen will replace Jake Spencer in the ruck. Our thoughts are with Jesse Hogan after the passing of his father. He’ll miss this week and possibly next.
Collingwood have Matt Scharenberg on an extended bench and will unveil another prized recycled player in Lynden Dunn against Geelong. Sam Menegola returns and Menzel is being rested for the Cats.
In the battle of the teams that are 5-0, the Crows have included Josh Jenkins which could mean an end to Andy Otten’s hot early form. Riley Knight is the only confirmed out with a hamstring injury. Richmond will likely go in unchanged.
I’m sure we’ve all got this nailed down by now but just in case you need a refresher – the breakeven (b.e) is the score that the player needs to hit in order to increase in value.
I haven’t seen Trading Places so the whole Eddie Murphy/Dan Akroid Akroyd Ackroud [ed note – ask Patch] thing never made a whole lot of sense to me. So this week “Everything’s coming up Milhouse!” is for players on the way up, while “Dig up, stupid!” is for players that have fallen in a hole and are facing a high breakeven this week.
As always, our resident rookie expert, Barron von Crow has more rookie news than you can poke a stick at in his Scouting Report.
— Jock Reynolds (@jock_reynolds) April 27, 2017
Everything’s Coming up Milhouse!
-64 – Nic Newman
-56 – Zac Fisher
-49 – Blake Hardwick
-38 – Harley Balic
-22 – Tom Williamson
-11 – Tom Stewart
8 – Jack Bowes
14 – Mitch Hannan
Dig Up, Stupid!
196 – Dustin Martin
187 – Scott Pendlebury
180 – Patrick Dangerfield
158 – Nick Riewoldt
154 – Marcus Bontempelli
151 – Alex Rance
133 – Sam Docherty
132 – Taylor Adams
130 – Zach Merrett
130 – JPK
Five rounds in and the rucking landscape is starting to clear up a bit. Stef Martin continues on his merry way, averaging a huge 117 and is only 570k. Grundy struggled in the wet but is still a great pick up, while most coaches would have at least one of Nank, Witts, or Sandi.
Goldstein’s struggles continue. His ankle looked absolutely stuffed last week. He couldn’t put any weight on it and was led off the ground arm-in-arm by the trainers.
The ruck curse continues over at the Dees, with Spencer joining Gawn on the sidelines for the next 6-7 weeks. I’ve read some horror stories on Twitter of those who jumped on Spencer and are now facing another trade.
Can't believe I put my #SuperCoach season in the hands of Jake Spencer and he falls apart after 6 quarters
— Bobbyj (@Bobbyj117) April 24, 2017
Mumford has hit absolute beast mode of late, but that’s come against a iffy Goldy, a Ryder-less Port Adelaide, and a “ruckman” by the name of Kurt Tippett. Proceed with caution.
Captain McCaptainface gets a rest for this week to be replaced by Captain’s Call. A term made famous by our 7th greatest living Prime Minister, Tony Abbott.
If you’re still running with Strndica as your loophole, Freo play Saturday night so there are few options around. Despite being absolutely crap lately, Buddy comes up against the Blues this week. A team that gave up 7 goals and 161SC to Tom Lynch, and 5 goals/139SC to Robbie Gray. He is due.
JPK and Hannebery don’t have fantastic records against the Blues, but Sydney will be looking to kick start their season five weeks after everyone else. Expect them to show no mercy.
Elsewhere, Bont plays on the Friday and should be considered. Marc Murphy has a great record against the Swans and Nick Riewoldt can go absolutely massive on his day.
For the orange I’m looking at Fyfe. He averages 111 in the Derby, including tons in his past 6 against West Coast. On the Sunday, Scott Pendlebury has a 120 career average against the Cats. Including tons in his past 10, yes TEN, games against them. Is he carrying an injury though or a victim of Bucks’ “coaching”? As always, Dangerfield and Selwood are great options.
Alright, that’s me done, community. Good luck for the week and I’ll try to get amongst the comments if you want any last minute advice.
If Buddy stains the underpants you can hit me up on Twitter. Please keep the abuse to an acceptable, un-Heath Shaw like level.
Twitter : @SC_Kev7