Dyson Heppell Supercoach 2017

Published by Jock on

supercoach dyson heppellJock has a lot of blokes he’d spoon in the comp.

Gary Ablett. Nathaniel Fyfe. Nick Riewoldt. If he were any lesser man I’d doubt his ability to get round to all these blokes. To make them happy. To please them. But if any man can have dozens of mistresses and please the top 10 Brownlow runners up for the past 5 years all in the same month, it’s Jock. Bloody. Reynolds.

I’m a bit more chaste. While I’m no Peter Higginbotham, I struggle to get up and about unless the bloke in question is in red and black. I can be breathless at a Nat Fyfe screamer or a Shane Mumford slam, but it doesn’t quite do it for me like the blokes from Bomberland.

I’ll look at Zach Merrett in coming weeks, no doubt, but I’m opening the bank balance with the man who will steer Essendon out of the dark times that have been the Essendon Doping Scandal. The blonde-headed light in the darkness.

Dyson Heppell.

2017 Supercoach Price: $513,300
2017 Est. Position: MID
Games in 2015: 22
Average in 2015: 104.8
100+ games in 2015: 15
Sub 80 games in 2015: 3
Price range in 2016: NA
Missed games last season: All of them.
Significant history:
  • Has missed 5 games in 5 years
  • Averaged 83 in his first season
  • Consistent – very low standard deviation (hovers around 20)
  • Been pissing around Europe for 12 months


Dyson Heppell is 24. He’s likely to be the next captain at Essendon, with Jobe unlikely to stick around in the role formally. BUT – he is part of those who were banned for 12 months. He hasn’t played a game of football since September 6, 2015. That’s a long, long time to be out of the game, and I reckon Heppell, and the rest of the returning players, will take time to come back to the speed of AFL.

That said, 24 is coming into the prime of his career, and we’ve seen it for a long time – this boy can play football, and play it very bloody well. He kicks more than he handballs, and averaged 4.8 tackles a game in his last season. He’s also not too impartial to a sneaky third man up hitout for a few extra points to snack on.

But there is – as there always is – a downside. Dyson is an outside player, and no matter which way you look at it, outside players don’t score as well as those that go in and get the hard ball. His disposal efficiency is 70%, and from someone who gets 16 uncontested possessions a game, that needs to be 75%+ for mine.

His averages also don’t encourage me. We were looking at Dyson breaking the 110 barrier in 2015, and were disappointed. While he was reliable as anything, he only had two games above 125, and that’s not enough to cut it.

Jock Reynolds Supercoach Magazine 2017



We’ve got too many stars packed into the midfield this year to be chasing a bloke who’ll be playing his first game for 18 months in March. As much as I love him, I’d take Zach Merrett, and about 12 others, above him for the start of the year.

However, keep your eyes peeled on him for a sneaky upgrade. If he start averaging a consistent 115, hitting 130 every third week or so, I’ll be licking my lips and seeing if I can slip in in.

What do you think, community?


A seriously good man as you all know. Twitter him:  @PatchToTheMax

Jock Reynolds Coach KingsThis article has been penned as part of the Jock Reynolds Community Series, where anyone from within our proud community can have their say in front of their peers. These men and women have displayed the spirit of togetherness, positivity and community that we value significantly.


Dyson Heppell Community Poll:

Where are you at with Dyson Heppell in 2017?

View Results

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anthony · 17/11/2016 at 18:20

he should get a discount price surely depends what hes price if hes 500 its a no for me but if hes around 400-450 then big consideration

    jockreynolds · 17/11/2016 at 18:22

    The big arse question – what will these blokes get – if anything – in terms of discount? Massive implications for the community.

      TRIGGER HAPPY · 17/11/2016 at 21:22

      100 % Jock.
      If he does get a discount well that pushes him up to the front of the queue.

      Bit of a worry that he hasn't played for 12 months, but with a hefty discount will monitor him very closely over the pre season.
      Like riding a bike you don't forget, you just get on and start peddling build up your fitness base and hit the preseason in peak form.
      They must just be champing at the bit and itching to get out there again.
      hopefully dyson is driven to make up for a year lost.

      Missed the simpsons flavour patch.

      General Soreness · 18/11/2016 at 09:54

      I will be very annoyed if there is a discount to returning banned players it will take a lot of the differences out and a lot of people will have very similar teams!

        I N Pieman · 18/11/2016 at 10:06

        Agree General. Teams will be Mirrow imagines. Boring

          gaveday · 18/11/2016 at 10:31

          Yes but the Essendon rooks of last year weren't too much of an issue, this year should be even less so. Surely some would go Jobe some will go Heppell and some Merret.

I N Pieman · 17/11/2016 at 18:29

I'm with you Patch. Too much uncertainty being out of the game for so long at that price. But if he did get a massive discount (unlikely) then I would consider him. I seriously rate him as a player

gaveday · 17/11/2016 at 19:43

Nice write up, thought you'd be a yes for sure!
A Discounted Heppel is locked in for me.
Now if Jaimie Elliot gets his due discount but Heppel doesn't it strikes me as fair dinkum ****house form.

    I N Pieman · 17/11/2016 at 20:15

    Elliott was genuinely injured & missed the season. And his injury is career threatening. Bomber boys were suspended. I think that's why they will keep them at 2016 prices. But really who knows Gave

      Gaveday · 18/11/2016 at 08:43

      My problem there is that it doesn't matter why they missed, they didn't play. A year out is a year out. Cam McCarthy with homesickness? Please. Lachy Keefe? It will be interesting and you can guarantee a fully fledged rant from me if doesn't go down the way I see it.

      In other news – I go for the pies. Buckley out by round rd8?

        I N Pieman · 18/11/2016 at 10:05

        Figured you were a Pieman as well Gave. I'm tipping Buckley gone by the bye. Will be fitting Bye @ the Bye Useless prick

          gaveday · 18/11/2016 at 10:15

          Not many coaches get a young premiership team and not only ruin it, but get chance after chance. Into his 6th year! It's a joke. Not one season of improvement. The Mong plays players out of position. Got rid of a premiership defence then complained about a leaky backline.
          Gutted the club of its heart and soul. From club legend to club tea towel.

            I N Pieman · 18/11/2016 at 10:27

            Amen to that! And it all comes down to Eddies pride. Harden up & admit you were wrong & fix it! Buckley can't coach. Simple as that

Thommo · 17/11/2016 at 20:07

You must look at this bloke very very closely. I don't follow the dons but he is a stand out. Never stops having a crack and is very durable. He's in my top ten midfield starters at this point, with or without a discount.

    jockreynolds · 18/11/2016 at 10:01

    Gday there Thommo – great to see you in here mate welcome aboard. I tend to agree. He's relevant in my book even without the price clip. Should be pretty high in calculations.

Kev · 17/11/2016 at 22:21

Love watching him go about it. 2016 should have been his breakout year. I have him priced at 565k Patch. Definite no at that price. A discount, even 10%, would be a huge game changer. Don't see it happening though and will target after the byes

    lostlarrikin · 18/11/2016 at 13:05

    Yeah agreed Kev, $565k will be his price.
    VS have stated there will be no discount on returning banned players.

    Nice work nonetheless Patch
    Glad you could take the blinkers off here and shoot straight

      Watto · 18/11/2016 at 15:43

      Is that 100% true Barron? I hope so that's a good move and will make the game a lot more interesting

        Watto · 18/11/2016 at 15:44


Moustachio · 18/11/2016 at 07:42

Fellas, don't be so pessimistic about the returning bombers getting discounts. You all admit that they will be rusty as hell, CD knows this, and have set a precedent with drug discounts in the past. No reason it would be different now.

I believe this lad will get a 20% discount (educated guess). At 450k he would be one of the most locked players in SC. Even at 10% i would likely start him. Assume to use him as a stepping stone, be pleasantly surprised if you don't have to.

    Kev · 18/11/2016 at 08:14

    Had a quick look into this over my morning coffee. Ryan Crowley averaged 53.6 in 2014. For 2015 he should have been priced at 289k, but, of course, was given a 12 month ban. When the bombers picked him up he was priced at 202k. A 30% discount!

    Heppell under 400k. Wow

      Gaveday · 18/11/2016 at 08:45

      Great Scott! A precedent. We are saved.

Gaveday · 18/11/2016 at 08:47

Also I might be making stuff up here – but maybe Crowley copped a heavy discount because 20% for the year out and then an extra 10% for being delisted????

    Moustachio · 19/11/2016 at 09:14

    Crowley got 10% extra because low scoring players get an extra 10%. eg Wells was 40% discount, but the cheaper players usually get 50% for missing so long. I think they do this because the % is not very impressive when they don't cost much to start with

General Soreness · 18/11/2016 at 09:55

Agree with the No here Patch but I love the freaky haired jet!!

Joe · 18/11/2016 at 13:34

Patch did you write this?

It is not like your other articles.

Are you sure you didn't sit this one out and bring in a sub?

neil · 18/11/2016 at 16:42

Definite no Patch too many better and wont be top twenty. Poor team will finish bottom 4 with handful of wins if any as next team Brisbane is better.Zerrett would be the only one in a team that got rewarded for cheating crazy

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