The List Whisperer
How did I become who I am today?
Is the innate ability to identify talent born? Or does the river of life polish the rock of a bloke’s genius slowly over time, turning it into a perfectly smooth and rounded pebble?
I don’t know all the answers. All I know for certain is that I’m just a regular man with an extraordinary gift. That’s all. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Another thing I can tell you for a fact: this time of season was a lot easier for Jock Reynolds back in the days when we had 12 clubs.
Consulting for 18 sets of list management teams, half of who don’t know their arse from their tit can take a lot of patience. Patience and time.
So, as I discussed with Dimma and Bucks over morning tea on Sunday, I’ll be streamlining things during the trade period this year.
For the first time I’ll be publishing my trade analysis and the state of play here every Monday in an open, honest and transparent manner for all clubs to use as a resource. I’m putting it all out there for discussion amongst our community.
Big Ty was recruited 8th in the 2008 National Draft. In 2011 he played every game and kicked 35 goals. Things were looking up. Since then he’s been shit house. Not worth a cold half eaten souvlaki. Crap mop of hair. A laughing stock on the field.
Those are cold hard truths folks. You need to be ruthless in this caper. But list management is about more that what’s on the surface. Let’s unpack the plight of Big Ty in some more depth.
- He’s 26. As a big bloke, theoretically, he has his best footy ahead of him.
- He’s been serviced by one of the most overrated and ordinary midfield brigades in recent memory. He’s had Cotchin with his pissy little dinky kicks chipping the thing around. And Dusty’s gone the next step, but he coughs the pill up more than any other prick out there.
- Then there’s the Richmond game plan. What bloody game plan Damian? Ty Ty hasn’t known what day it is because he doesn’t know what’s happening up the field.
- Richmond couldn’t develop talent if it smashed them in the face.
Dimma, if you were fair dinkum you’d keep him and focus on building something resembling an AFL standard midfield. He wants to get to Hawthorn which would be a bloody good fit for him.
Reminds me of a little wood chopper off his head on V cans. Drafted at #10 in 2010. Had his best season in 2014 where he averaged around 27 possessions and established himself as a solid citizen in the midfield.
Stuffed his knee early in 2015. Has been out again with a knee since Round 16 this year. He’s had enough of Rocket and the shambles up North and wants to piss off. Early word was he wanted to get to Carlton. They wouldn’t have enough coin for him so he’s set his sights on a bright future at the up and coming Richmond Football Club.
- Can play. Do doubts there. Tough little prick who can win the ball on the inside and add some real grunt to in the guts.
- Richmond desperately need some talent through the midfield. Ready made talent would be ideal considering they are absolute rubbish at developing their own.
- Established himself in a midfield full of stars next to GAJ, Swallow, Jaeger and the lads.
Hang on a minute though. This trade fills my nostrils with STINK. Absolute shit smelling STINK. Damian. Do not. Under any circumstances. Trade your #7 draft pick for Dion Prestia. Do not pay him what he’s asking.
This draft will be an absolute ripper. You need to rebuild from the ground up. You will not win a flag in Dion Prestia’s playing lifetime. You will pay overs for him. He has an injury history stretching right back into juniors that fills my nostrils with nothing but STINK.
For the sake of the Richmond Football Club I hope Dion finds his way to another club.
Others on the table:
The situation with Travis Cloke will be made public within the next few weeks. The facts of the matter are that Travis is a 90’s footballer who’s not capable of adjusting to the modern game. There’s a bit of noise around that Bevo and the Western Bulldogs are keen. Perhaps they’re keen on a tilt at the 2017 VFL flag? I’d steer well clear.
Travis Cloke’s career in 30 secs. Fantastic mark. Shocking kick. No doubt his last match in Pies colours today #WastedTalent
— Bill Peters (@westkiama) August 28, 2016
Jaeger O’Meara is also looking to escape Rocket’s red & yellow house of rabble and Gold Coast are pissed off. Essendon are keen on him. St Kilda also circling. What’s he worth given his run with injury? That’s the key to the trade. If he stays on the park he could be one of the best in the competition. On the other end of the scale he’ll be worth stuff all if he can’t get his arse on the park.
Bombers coach John Worsfold says they would absolutely love Jaeger O’Meara to go to Essendon. — Tom Boswell (@ThomasBoswell1) August 28, 2016
Word is David Swallow is having a sook about Gold Coast’s treatment of Jaeger since he announced he’s leaving. It’s a harsh industry David. Let’s spend more time focussing on hitting the park and less time holding the conch please. He’ll stay.
Ralph: Cochrane’s O’Meara comments have impacted on David Swallow’s future; unlikely to stay there in the long term. Has spoken with North.
— SEN 1116 (@SENNews) August 27, 2016
Tom Mitchell’s contract talks are on hold till the end of the season. I like this boy. Needs to improve his disposal but a ball winner is always worth his weight in gold on the inside. Let’s see how he feels after winning a premiership this year. Unlikely to move clubs in my book. Plenty of talk about Hawthorn. They don’t have the cash for him.
Dream trade: Tom Mitchell to Carlton in exchange for Dylan Buckley and Carlton’s first-round draft pick- that’s a dream trade for the Swans? — Bradley (@BradSabbath) August 10, 2016
Jack Steele will head to the Saints. Sit back and let more blood flow into that growing trouser of arousal Saints – the kid can play. Has had trouble busting into the GWS lineup. But have a look at that lineup.
According to Russell Barwick on SEN it is his belief that Jack Steele is definitely going to St Kilda next year.
— Neil 1966 (@neil_saints) August 25, 2016
Chris Mayne played his last game for Freo yesterday. Poor bastard. Chris Mayne has been Ross Lyon’ed. It’s that simple. Ross has a knack for squeezing the life marrow out of a human being and that’s what’s happened to Chris. He’s no match winner by any stretch but he can play forward or back. A real Jason Blake type. Salt of the earth. North his likely home given their recent cull. St Kilda, Richmond and Collingwood also possible.
Be interesting to see where Chris Mayne goes. Early link due to family connections was North. Would open a can of worms if it happened — Dale Miller (@miller_dj) August 28, 2016
Then there’s Tommy Rockliff. Seems there might be just a touch of flog about the boy..
Andrew Stafford: I think the club is looking to trade Rockliff, there are issues between him and other players @SENAfternoons
— SEN 1116 (@SENNews) August 29, 2016