Welcome to the Panic Room! Where we look at how the biggest team news and Supercoach of the news and discussing how we react.
But, this week absolutely nothing has happened on the team front. Diddly squad on the injury front. There’s been nothing. Not a bit.
What am I to do? How do I make a Panic Room that is even vaguely interesting when nothing vaguely interesting has happened during the week to hang off? Is The Panic Room a parasite, sucking blood out of what is spawned by the Football world each week?
All of these philosophical questions are both too hard and too confronting to have answers, so I’m going to talk about Michael Hurley for a bit in order to stave off potential crushing realisation that I may in fact be useless.
YEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHH BOI ALL ABOARD THE HYPE TRAIN
— Jason Ciccolallo (@chicko_LCS) August 18, 2016
I can’t wait for the chance to see Cale Hooker and Michael Hurley running around in my CoachKings side, and it also gives me a whole summer of toying with Essendon’s starting 22 for next year – hit us up in the comments as to what you think we’ll line up as!
However, we’ll take time to gel. Essendon won’t come out and bust to the top of the ladder.
Tonight will be fun. Jock “The Sacred One” Reynolds has plucked plucked three of his besties for the big West Coast v Hawthorn CoachKings clash tonight. It’s the 3rd last weekend of Venue Final qualification so get on down to your local CoachKings town this night my friends:
Nothing. Absolutely bugger all.
EDIT: I did the thing again. I questioned the wrath of the Supercoach Gods and they’ve started a rain of fire. Jimmy Bartel is being managed against the Lions this weekend, and after his 48 last week, it looks like time is being called on not just Jimmy’s Fantasy relevance, but his magnificent career. Trade.
Jasper Pittard is the standout like-for-like replacement, and I don’t mind either Jeremy Howe or Zac Williams around that pricepoint either. And despite how much Lek will hate me for suggesting him, so is Bachar Houli, but if you’ve got the cash go for rolled gold replacement.
As TRIGGER_HAPPY pointed out in the comments, it may not be the last of the carnage for the weekend.
Matthew Suckling is out with that pesky Achilles and I’d wager we won’t see him again in the home and away season… and that’s literally it.
Sam Jacobs and Kurt Tippett are back, Matthew Pavlich and Aaron Sandilands have been managed. To make way, Toby Nankervis and Jesse Joyce have been dropped.
Chad Wingard has done a hammy and is gone for the year, and should be straight swapped to the Doggies, and Taylor Adams will miss with an ankle.
Richmond have made a swathe of changes following their loss to the Cats, with Anthony Miles, Ben Lennon, Nathan Drummond and Ty Vickery all dropped. Connor Menadue and Kane Lambert have been brought in to replace them, alongside some bloke called Tom Elton and a debutant in Callum Moore.
Jacob Hopper and Darcy Parish are back, while Tom Hickey, Ryan Clarke and a small host of other irrelevant fantasy names will miss.
BORING, eh? Have a meme. That meme is relevant to anything or anyone, just like the team news this week.
Fun fact: memes are a way young people stave off existential crises. They also provide a thing called “the lolz,” which is the primary way creatures like us communicate, unless we’re Richmond supporters, in which case we bond over bonfires made from Richmond FC memberships.
THE PATCH UP
As I’m sure you know, this is the Patch Up, where I have a gander at the biggest issue of the week. Ah yes, another meme. Keep staving off the existential dread, Patch, I believe in you*
All the week’s issues aren’t quite Fantasy Football related:
- Australia’s inability to play spin in Sri Lanka
- Our pathetic effort in track and field in Rio
- Andrew Bogut’s fitness
All of the answers to these questions involve getting Jock Reynolds to the scene. Masterful player of spin at the top of the order, good cricketing mind and bowls a lethal wrong-un. In fact, Jock taught a young Shane Warne most of what he knows.
He has also run the hundred in a flat six seconds and was offered a contract by the San Antonio Spurs before last season, but they instead had to settle for Paddy Mills as he turned them down to throw his heart and soul into CoachKings.
Speaking of… here is the CoachKings All Australian side, made up of the top 7 averaging players of each line, with an extra midfielder thrown in for good measure. And I must say, this is very, very similar to my AA side, and you’d wager will be similar to the AA selected at the end of the year, which is a massive testament to our very own Peter “Higgo” Higginbotham and his mathematical genius.
If you have any serious Supercoach issues: namely The Chad, have a gander at Lekdog’s beautiful, gorgeous, wonderful cheat sheet. However, there is one large bug for a lot of people.
That bug is Dylan Shiel. He’s been an irritant all year, and I reckon if you’ve got rage trades left in reserve, flick him as hard as you bloody well can. Hasn’t shown a massive ceiling this year, and has been awful to those of us who started him.
Nothing here either. Not even a meme.
HERE WE GO, RELEVANCE AT LAST!
780 words into this thing and we’ve finally hit something that isn’t me grasping for relevance. But we’re into relevance!
Captaincy selection will make us or break us this week, so we need a long, hard look at it this week.
Joel Selwood is only averaging 91 in the last 3 games or so, but he has history does our man Joel.
— Fantasy Freako (@FantasyFreako) August 16, 2016
Buddy Franklin once booted 13 against the Roos in Tassie, for some 900 Supercoach points. Pulled the Saints to bits last week and heating up for finals. Strong VC option and could go off the chain. Bloody risky though. Would lean towards Dan The Man Hannebery as the VC first though. 137 average over his last three, 126 in his last against North.
I’m steering clear of both Scott Pendlebury and Patrick Dangerfield this week, mainly as points of difference. However, Pendles is still under an injury cloud, despite playing the lowly Suns, and Paddy has had a down August, so there is rationale for not selecting either of those.
Tom Rockliff at home, coming off a mammoth score would be my lock for the week if I had him. 120 over his last 3, 159 last week… Rockliff is riding a massive arousal curve home and I’d LOCK. HIM. IN. I don’t give a stuff about Scott Selwood going to him, ride Rocky home, boys and girls.
Otherwise, Max Gawn has my C currently, and seems to have shaken the MCG hoodoo from the first half of the year: his last 5 games at the G have yielded an average of 121 and Carlton’s ruck stocks… well they aren’t great, to be honest.
RIGHTEO – that’s the end of my rambling incoherence for another week. I’ll try and pop in the comments later in the afternoon, but in case I don’t see ya, good afternoon, good evening and good weekend of fantasy football: be it Supercoach or CoachKings.
Lots of Love,