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THE PANIC ROOM – HELL

Published by Patch on

PatchCoachKingsLogoCommunity, I have a confession to make.

We’re out a little bit late this week, and I’ve told Jock it was because work kept me back late last night and it knocked me out of whack.

I’ve always found the best lies are wrapped in a slither of truth. I am indeed out of whack, but work did not keep me.

No, I’m late this week because I looked at the team selections this morning and cried.

I lay in the foetal position and caused a flood far greater than the dreary skies that have lashed this damp, muddy country could ever muster.

I’ve had master tutelage. I’ve learnt from the best. Jock took me under his wing and showed me the Ways of Fantasy Sport.

Crouching has taken me to the jungles of South-East Asia and pushed me to my physical limit. He bestowed on me the knowledge of the fly-kick.

Higgo taught me mathematics behind the comprehension of mortal minds – in fact, years before the Higgs-Boson or ‘God’ particle was announced as an integral part of all matter, our dear friend Peter told me of the Higginbotham Particle, or the “Gaz” particle, which showed Gary Ablett Jnr makes up every successful supercoach side.

After all this, I opened my side this morning to find sixteen. bloody. players.

Sixteen

I promptly took a very long and very hot shower.

homer

I am ashamed.

 

THE NEWS

Now is not the time for self-pity. Lockout has begun, which means trades cannot be reversed. For the next three weeks, we will be subject to locking our trades in before we know the teams – or we trade around this annoying spectacle that is Thursday night football.

Although, the brilliant thing that comes with Thursday football is the Jock Reynolds crack commentary team. They were a huge selection for our lives this week, and for the quarter I was able to stream at work it was 100% top notch.

Onto team selections – Daniel Wells missed last night’s match with a dodgy calf. Hopefully after the bye next week he’ll be a-ok for the rest of the reason. Hopefully.

The BIG news this week is Dayne Zorko is missing from Brisbane’s lineup for personal reasons, which is a huge blow to them, and to us in the toughest week of the year. Cyril Rioli is also attending a funeral up north, and will miss this week’s game.

Jacob Hopper is OUT, being managed. From what, who knows. Sam Reid has also been dropped for those looking for a rookie this week.

For those poor sods still with Suns rebounder Kade Kolodjashnij, he’s going to miss this week with concussion, possibly from ramming his head against the wall in order to rediscover his form.

Ben Crocker, Corey Ellis and Daniel Rioli are all out for a variety of reasons – Rioli joining cousin Cyril up north – and anyone who picked up Daniel Gorringe will have to find a way to cope with his hip injury as he will miss this week.

Gold Coast dynamo Aaron Hall returns after running rampant in the NEAFL. Let’s hope Rocket puts him back in the midfield against the Hawks.

Luke Hodge has been selected for the Hawks this week, which hopefully will not come at the expense of rookie Kade Stewart. I’d think he’d be reasonably safe, but you never know with the Hawks.

Those still holding Connor Spudadue Menadue rejoice, for he will be blessing us with another 30 this week as Richmond have – for some unfathomable reason – selected him again. Which would be great news for me if I hadn’t traded him out at lunchtime yesterday. WHO’S THE POTATO NOW, PATCH?

(Speaking of me being a potato, I missed Rhys Mathieson‘s return to the Lions side. He’s been picked! Cheers to Reece for pointing that one out for me, as I the names were a bit blurry through the tears.)

 

THE PATCH UP

Patch’s helpful visual guide to surviving this week:

cry

Whatever I write here would be far surpassed by Lekdog’s magnificent, beautiful thing of a cheat sheet. Go look at it.

That’s not a suggestion. If you’ve kept scrolling and haven’t looked at this week, move your mouse back up and click on the hyperlink.

Do it.

I’m not going to tell you again.

 

TRADING PLACES

Eddie Murphys

-31 – Sam J. Reid (DROPPED)
-24 – Kade Stewart
-22 – Jack Trengove
-18 – Toby Nankervis
-16 – Aliir Aliir
1 – Logan Austin
4 – Bailey Williams
13 – Tom Ruggles
24 – Jayden Short

Dan Aykroyds

199 – Bryce Gibbs
168 – Todd Goldstein
168 – Adam Treloar
160 – Lachie Neale
160 – Scott Lycett
154 – Dylan Shiel
148 – Callan Ward
142 – Heath Shaw
137 – Scott Pendlebury

CAPTAIN McCAPTAINFACE

To anyone who put the VC on Goldy last night – yeah nah let’s not take the 99.

Let’s put the C on Paddy Dangerfield. He’s averaging 147.5 over his past five and a MAMMOTH 175.3 over his last three. Ca-ching.

For those still with the VC to slap around, I’d have a gander at Scotty Pendlebury tonight or, if you’re feeling really dicey, Michael Barlow, who is averaging 125 over his last three.

I would avoid Dustin Martin, as he’ll get the Mitch Robinson tag this week.

twit

Just as the tears have dried I feel them coming on again… if Dusty has a shocker I might not be seen for a week. I brought him in this week and didn’t even think about the Robbo tag. BREAK IT SON. If not for your sake, for mine.

I know you’re reading, Dusty. I believe in you, son.

And community, I believe in you. Do me bloody proud this week. Hold your heads higher than mine.

We will survive.

 

 

The Thursday Night PLAY AT HOME Winners 

Thanks to the MASSES of Community stalwarts who jumped in and had their first crack at the CoachKings special Thursday night Play at Home game – get down to your local to play and feel free to jump in again for the next three Thursday night home sessions. It’s bloody FREE and its bloody FUN – Get around it folks!

Thursday-Week-1-winner

Rd.1 4 CoachKings Fixture

CoachKings Fixture

 

CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT OUR ROUND 14 COACHKINGS LINEUPS

 

5.00 EDIT: I AM DOWN TO 15 MEN. KADE STEWART IS OUT.  F&#*ING HELL.

I’m sick of this round already, so I’m going to head down to my local tonight and try and win a thousand dollarydoos to make myself feel better.

 

 


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Gartos

ily patch

bronson

Patch you are my hero

Bailey

its lit

dean

love u patch you lit human

Sana

I only have 14 on field after the news on Hopper… Should I axe him or just accept my team is stuffed this week? Still have 2 trades for the week and 160k.

Patch

Depends on the rest of your side, Sana, but if you're down to 14 you almost might as well cop the loss in your league and move on to next week

If you're focusing on rank, you'll need to paint the fence

Redgumwon

You could cash in with Hopper and trade in Mathieson if you don't already have him

reece

mathisen?

Patch

Cheers Reece, missed him through the tears mate. Will chuck him in now!

Sozza

Is it worth considering Eric Hipwood (DEF/FWD) as a downgrade target, after only 1 game?

Patch

I wouldn't unless you desperately need him. He's a key position player and will be inconsistent, and likely dropped at some stage. I'd have another look if you could

Jay

I love the quantum physics reference, nice work Patch! I'll always think of it as the 'Higgos-Boson Particle' from now on.

Chevy

OMG!!! I brought sj Reid in to my team as he was playing no he isnto WTF!!!!

Lachy

same here, dont stress

jordanandeddie

The fact that I still have Spudadue in my team really speaks for how bad a year I'm having…
I appreciate that Jock is purposefully in the trenches with us.

Patch

I've spent the last two months wishing I didn't have him, and the second I get rid of him I realise I need him. Enough to drive you mad!

smote

Maybe with Dusty copping a hard tag, Menadue will ton up.

Derek

I love that about Jock, purposefully scoring poorly so he knows what it is like to be struggling at SC. he is like the team riders in the Tour de france, who go back and stay with the fallen leaders and nurse them back to the pelleton, sacrificing themselves for the good of the team leader and ultimately the team.

medadsson

Agreed, having my worst year ever. Feel like a spud until I remember the father of fantasy is in the trenches with us 🙂

Irrelevant

Sorry to have Menadue now?

Gavin

Martin or Lids in this week?

Cheers

Gus

Martin

Patch

Dusty

Gus

Docherty or Simpson? Will Tom Phillips (every average in 1st game missed target many times) be a JS for rest of the season? Sneaking suspicion he may well be!

Patch

Docherty. Not sold on Phillips, give him another week before looking to bring him in

Gus

Yep, exactly what I'll be doing

Ciaran

Down to 16, as well as my opponent in the cash league on 16.

The issue I have is my backline : Shaw, Gibbo, Rich, Collins, Ruggles, Lee (Boyd, Tippa)
I have 2 trades remaining and have 500k in the bank to upgrade (16 playing this week, 16 or 17 next week). Do I upgrade tippa to Docherty or Simmo this week OR wait until next week, use Tippa as backline cover and upgrade Ruggles next week.

Cheers guys

Patch

I'm keeping Tippa myself but no reason for you to if you want to upgrade him. I'd go up to Docherty this week Ciaran!

Jonathan Camac

Brilliant work Patch. Best fantasy football article on the market.

Slightly unrelated, but Jock and co, I like this new 'play from home' CoachKings thinga-ma-jig. Significant, as Higgo would say. Some of us cant make it to such venues each week, or just cant be bothered. But if you had a play from home set-up for at least 2 games a round, I'd be all over it (and I reckon others would too).

Thoughts community?

Starkingdom

agree

Derek

Good idea, but what does Jock and his investors get out of it if we are playing it at home and not going to the pub to drink beer.

I would imagine the business model involves the clubs and pubs paying for the service in consideration for people coming and buying beer (and chips), if there was other ways for us to play it, the clubs & pubs may not want to support it.

Without CoachKings, we might not have Jock back with us. (we all still remember that awful day about this time last year – the time that we don't want to talk about when we thought we had lost Jock forever)

I like how we all get a bit of a look at it and if we like it we can go and find a place that is serving it.

my nearest location is 374.2km away. oh well.

Starkingdom

Pay to play? Not much just enough to generate interest. Maybe a jackpot like gallops – quaddie. Potential huge jackpots if all SuperCoach players get on board.

Turtlecoach

374.2k's, maybe just go every second week then Derek 🙂

Patch

Means a lot mate <3

I'm not able to talk for anyone on the CoachKings play from home because I simply don't know what's needed, but the idea is based around getting bums in pubs to play.

There's nothing more we want than everyone playing, but we do need bums in pubs to keep the thing rolling along

Starkingdom

good luck with that

Jonathan Camac

Fair call, I understand. Great work regardless fellas!

Andrew

Pendles Into Danger? or
Danger into Ablett?

Ron

I'm going Barlow in Danger – I think Barlow will score 150+ this week. Pies no good at tagging

Neverweaken

Me too

brightsidefx

I'm going Paddy into Gaz, with the assumption I probably won't need to use Gaz.

Stevo

Danger in to Ablett

Patch

Either way I think you'll end with Danger's score, but would take Pendles over Gaz, who's playing the Hawks

Daz

Shaw to Danger

Tom

Best less then $117,300 option this week?

Kev

Matheison, Phillips

CaPtKaOs

If it has to be "less than" 117,300, Joyce if he makes the final 22.

Patch

Can look at non-playing DPPs if you've got the cover mate.

Tom

Thanks all – yep going Joyce this week, Phillips next as both on the bubble!

oliver

Thoughts on holding or downgrading Hewett? Was thinking it might be worth riding it out until that 11 that he scored was out of his rolling average and he makes up the lost money, even though he will lose cash again next week. Have 19 playing this week but only 70k in the kitty, so not much coin for upgrades. Thinking of holding at this stage.

Patch

I like that thinking, Ollie!

Grahame Lebroy

Cruel outs Patch, cruel indeed. A big test of SC Character this weekend, I have no doubt whatsoever you will bounce back stronger whilst gaining a SC God like wisdom that will hold u in good stead for years to come. Chin up

Patch

Cheers Grahame. I've had a long hard think about it and am getting back on my feet mate. Makes it a truckload easier having blokes like you lend support. I love you mate.

Mitch

Stuck on what to do this week community would appreciate some help!

Team is
shaw simpson docherty laird bartel adams byrne-jones collins
danger pendles ward parker ablett libba kerridge dunkley stewart trengove d.cuningham
goldy gawn cox
zorko barlow martin hall amtippa petracca menadue philips

have 220k left and 13 trades
Have done Dunkley to Sloane so far

thanks everyone

Patch

Sloane in has paid off! Could go Petracca to Montagna, or Byrne-Jones to Rance (which I like more).

Mitch

Thought of keeping petracca for a couple more. amt/adams worth moving on for lids or Montagna

Mitch

?*

josh

so with the news that zorko is out i still have 7 playing forwards that i cant swing..
i have 19 on the pitch that are scoring but my question i dont get in the bye rounds
i have phillips (collinwgood) and menadue on the bench, one of which i will replace for zorko.
if i put the emergency on phillips tonight, and he scores well if i keep zorko on the pitch will phillips replace zorkos 0 with his score..
i was going to do this so that if he spuds it up real bad then i can still put menadue on the pitch..

Derek

yes, normal E rules will apply

Juzzy

That's spot on.
If Phillips scores 40 it may be a difficult decision though …

Stevo

Sidebottom worth a punt in midfield as a Libba replacement?

josh

yes. was considering sloane/sidebottom for this weeks upgrade.
ended up going sloane which i was happy about but i rate sidebottom, proven premium

Stevo

Cheers Josh!

Patch

Wouldn't have much of a problem with the Sidebum, Stevo!

tom

Should I trade Hopper to Phillips or Mathieson to field 18 players or hold?

josh

depends what you're going for in overall scheme i guess.. i always play for overall rank regardless of how close i am..
so i traded hopper this week.. seeing as he is out this week and bye next week.. i bought in phillips but if i were you id get mathieson in

Westy

Don't like Thursday night or Monday night footy. Why can't they just leave it on the weekend (Friday night to Sunday afternoon) and be done with it. (Long weekends are different, but think of the players as well as the public.)
If they want to emulate NRL, then fine, but NRL only get between 10K and 20K turning up to most of their games.

CaPtKaOs

When is the final 22 named for Sundays game?

Juzzy

Great article Patch.
You have to laugh at the "Menadue Situation".
Nine shocking games straight and he wasn't dropped. Hardwick must love the kid.
I believe this is the universe balancing things out.
It is the absolute antithesis of the Longmire, Tom Mitchell situation of a couple of years back.
If Mitchell had played a Menadue-esque game that year he could still be playing in the Neafl today.

Patch

Hahaha absolutely true, mate!

Nicholas

Going to struggle to get 18 players over the next two weeks
Here is my team: https://imgur.com/a/OhH5h
Looking for some advice on trades, but I think Wines out is the only way to avoid a donut this week. Was so close to going Wines to Sloane but did not pull the trigger and now am regretting.
Any advice is appreciated

Northernsoul74

I think we've all seen your team enough this week. I've lost track of how many times you've posted it. You pretty much spam this site. I for one will be ignoring your repetitive posts from now on.

Ben

Your team is shit let's leave it at that mate.

Cameron

You are scum mate go kys

Steeeve

Mate I know imgur is for shitposting but leave it for the dank memes. Just type your team in.

Derek

great work patch. I tell ya, it is these bye rounds that will kill supercoach. I have a few friends who don't play SC anymore is because it gets too hard around the bye rounds. Why do we have byes anyways?

Patch

Cheers Derek.

Players demanding them. I don't have a problem with them, I just wish we were able to have 3 weeks off SC for them

Moustachio

To set the cream apart from the crop!

Derek

lol. sounds like you have been to the Jock Reynolds School of cliche

BMac

Your friends are somewhat fickle then Derek. Been in the fixture since day dot.

Derek

I thought they only started in 2012

Tommo09

I have 16 too Patch
Thinking Rocky into Danger this week

Starkingdom

don't think DO

Gherkin

I'm doing the same Tommo. Did that last week and was foolish enough to take Rocky's 130. Sounded like a good idea until Danger punched out a lazy 100 to half time.

Patch

Nice mate, Rocky slipped my mind

Shake n bake

Was goin to bring in rance didn't really want to spend so much
on Docherty. I know I'm thinking far ahead but tigers play Syd
last game blues play Ess. Should I just spend the extra coin?

Starkingdom

I had same thoughts yesterday, I went Doch for higher ceiling and plays (named) on wing which gives him freedom to roam while Rance is one dimension player, but still a v good choice. I believe Doch will perform against any opposition, potential GUN.

Patch

Docherty will outscore Rance for the rest of the year, SnB. Would go the Doc

The Ranger

I had Doc locked in all week until about 4pm yesterday when I changed it to Rance.
I need every bit of cash I can get in order to get to a proper full premium team and have decent bench cover so I just can't justify the spend.
Hopefully the money I have saved will be spent in such a way as to make up the possible points difference.

min0008

Pendlebury into Danger or Dangerfield into Gaz?

CaPtKaOs

Adam Saad out of the GCS squad with hammy tightness.

JDP

Thoughts please community

Which option to bring in this week:
Simpson and Dusty Or
Simpson & Deledio???

Cheers

Patch

Dusty mate!

Shake n bake

Have vc on Sloane should I be nervous Danger plays saints
at Etihad? & Richo said he won't be tagged?

Fotz

145 is normally a score you'd like to take. Nothing wrong with 290. Every chance Danger scores 160+ so just depends on how lucky you feel. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit, but 290 is still mighty fine.

Patch

I'd take a 145 personally mate. Even with Danger on fire

Uidiot

Not taking a 145 is amateurish………..

The Beard

STILL HAVEN'T DECIDED…

MERRETT, DELEDIO, MONTAGNA FOR LAST FORWARD PREMIUM???

patricmassey

deledio

Patch

Mate you know where I lie on this. Merrett all the way for me

The Beard

Cheers Patch.

HELP

Bringing in Docherty
Upgrade Adams or Mc- Tip

Patch

Adams for mine

patricmassey

only fielding 15 cause of wells and zorko, actually want to kms. plus and awful thursday night by the likes of brodie smith and talia

Mac

How many players are the community fielding? Also what do to with Hopper? Time to cash in?

Patch

Down to 15 now, Mac. Truly dark times.

Mac

Patch what should I do with Hopper?

Derek

Stewart not named, but Joyce and Menadue are, i will have 19 onfield.

That will include plenty of rookies who usually play poor when i have them onfield – Collins, Menadue, Joyce, Gresham Mcgovern (done good) and BSmith

John

19 now Zorko is out… Assuming no other late outs.

Pauly Walnuts

Is Barlow in our final 8,also would Libba be the last upgrade or should I be keeping him at M8 ?

Southern S

I won't be trading Barlow out that is for sure, held him all year and now reaping the rewards.

Top 8 who knows, not in total but probably average well from here on out and be top 6.

You could trade Libbe, or you could keep him at M8, it really depends on how good your other lines are and your total team value situation.

Starkingdom

Danger obvious VC
Gaz for C because.. played magpies x 13 avg. 133
average at AU 138, and…. Hall is back, should create more opportunities.
yes? or Shaw VC into Danger C

Chicken Dinner

Looks like stewart is out 🙁 sad times

Jay

Bugger

Derek

i wanted at least one more game out of him. i'm not going to stuff around, he will be traded now.

Southern S

What was the point of getting him in then? We all knew he would most likely get dumped.

Mr Sarcasm

What a surprise. I thought he was a permanent replacement for Hodge.

Derek

thats what i mean, we knew he would get dumped, i was hoping it would be after this week. oh well, i'm not going to hold onto him, prefer to get maitherson in who is playing and might make a bit of cash. stewart won't.

Steeeve

I'd rather save the trade

Nicholas

How many trades you got Derek? Brand was dropped a while back and he is playing again. Stewart will make cash just not right now so I will hold, also I do not have the luxury due to my trades

Derek

I got 11 after this week

Sully321

Who are the downgrade options this week?

Patch

Tom Phillips the obvious one

Gavin

What are the communities thoughts on Joyce, on the bubble and wait to see if Phillips gets named next round?

Patch

Not sold on Joyce myself, Gav. Would go Phillips myself

Steeeve

I'll pick Phillips up even if he's not named next week, need the dpp swing.

Shake n bake

Stewart dropped

Nervous Coach

Patch – awesome as ever. Thanks for the visual guide and Simpsons reference. Has helped turned the tears into tears of laughter.
In a similar foetal position – 16 players. Traded DBJ for Laird, however, has not left me enough to upgrade AMT or Adams.

Options :
1) Hewett to Maitheson/Phillips (who has the better job security and scoring potential) and use the cash to upgrade AMT or Adams to Lids or N Riewoldt. Leaves me with 13 trades but 18 on the field.
2) Hewett to Maitheison, upgrade next week and cop two donuts.

Thoughts

Nervous Coach

Thanks Patch. Was leaning towards Mathieson only because he is on the bubble but he might be the first to lose his spot when Zorko returns. Phillips may be the better option.

Patch

No worries mate! Glad to hear I brought some smiles amongst the pain.

I like option one – would go Tom Phillips personally and then Adams to Lids.

Nicholas

Just realised Ollie Wines to Docherty bring Rich into the centre is my way to avoid both my donuts as this allows me to use one of my bench rookies in defence onfield. Then ben ken to lids and nic nat to martin. Wondering what you think about these trades. I will be left with a tonne of cash after these trades also which is nice. I think it is worth it to save myself from two donuts just wondering on your thoughts.

Nicholas

Actually dw this only saves me one donut thinking I will just accept my crappy score

johnno2908

I realised the same with Libba out this week and keeping DBJ and putting Rich in the middle. Was tossing up between 18 and 19 on field and to keep libba. Now Stewart out as well, will have to do go Libba out. Planned like crazy for the byes and then this shit happens.

Nicholas

Do you think it is worth it even though it only gets rid of 1 donut, I will still be left with another donut and no way to get rid of it as I do not want to get Pendles at his price and no other good options from last round apart from Sloane

HOLLA

Did anyou have th vc on sloane last night and are you take the double points for a 290?

HOLLA

Probably should have proof read that sentence.

Patch

Would take Sloane's score Holla

Chubby McChubby

Taylor Adams to Lachie Neale or wait until next week given BE of 159?

Chubby McChubby

Or is there any other mids I should consider. Last spot will be zaharakis to hanners

Jess_coach

Without seeing your team, + 1 for Neale.

Wouldn't mind paying abit more for a keeper

Chubby McChubby

+1 = another week?

Jess_coach

Cox is in! I love cox!!!!

Mac

Especially 6'11 Cox 😉

Southern S

Arousing

Davonaise

Oh boy….

50_Shades

I wanna play….

I'm disappointed because I thought the favorites were Ryder … And … Swallow 🙂 (Too much?)

Steeeve

MacPherson to Mathieson
Or
Stewart to Mathieson
Or
Just hold