RD10: The Heroes. The Villains. The Damned.
Our fearless leader Jock Reynolds gave a speech for the ages last week. When he spoke, our rookies listened. Unfortunately, the rest of the competition failed to heed his prophecy this round.
Round 10 was yet another round of mediocrity. So many of our premos failed to perform. But where there is despair, there is faith.
I present to you, Community, an oracle of hope. I gave birth to a son last week, and already he has demonstrated a freakish ability to see into the SuperCoach future. I simply said to the young man, “who should I make captain this week?” Todd Goldstein? Max Gawn? Heath Shaw? Patrick Dangerfield?
Without hesitation, the little guru signalled towards Max Gawn. The young man was on the money.
TAKE NOTE community – CoachKings State of Origin is GO for all venues – including Victorian and SA Venues on Wednesday night!
CONGRATULATIONS BIG CARL ON THE BIRTH OF YOUR BABY BOY!!!
Tom Mitchell (178 SC)
Could easily be in the The Redeemers column, considering he has been ordinary the past month. But, boy, didn’t he play a ripper game on Friday night, showing why his owners selected him in the first place. The bloke is an absolute ball magnet when allowed to hunt the pill and not tag. Disposal is questionable at times, but that was not evident at all against the Roos. Bloody savaged them on his way to 41 touches.
Max Gawn (167 SC)
Like Mitchell, he could feature as a Redeemer, but his score is simply too big not to class him as a hero. My brother (a Melbourne supporter) believes he has discovered the key to Big Max’s meteoric rise this season, via some inside information. “He’s gone from smoking three packs of durries a week to only one pack a week,” he revealed to me. Indeed, the combination of the power of the beard mixed with a restricted amount of ciggies a week seems to be the recipe for success for the big man. Many had the balls to put the C on him, and they were rewarded handsomely.
Gary Ablett (143 SC)
The son of God is back. Bald Jesus looked like the little master of old as he tackled and efficiently disposed of the pigskin on the way to arguably his best performance of the season. The shoulder and concussion problems appeared to have vanished by some sort of miracle. To his owners, Gazza’s majestic handling of the football was like manner falling from heaven.
Honourable mentions: Josh P Kennedy (161 SC), David Armitage (149 SC), Jordan Lewis (141 SC), Bryce Gibbs (140 SC), Jack Steven (138 SC), BJ Goddard (130 SC), Daniel Hannebery (126 SC), Bryce Gibbs (140 SC), Josh Kelly (132 SC), Patrick Dangerfield (127 SC), David Zaharakis (122 SC), Sam Docherty (121 SC), Luke Dahlhaus (119 SC), Dylan Shiel (118 SC) Lachie Neale (118 SC).
@jock_reynolds haven’t had the balded wonder all year but at 541k and a be of 89 gaz wont get any cheaper..looked like his old self today..
— Daniel Jose (@DJose_89) May 29, 2016
Heath Shaw (81 SC) Many put the C on him thinking he would be able to magically replicate the double ton from last week. But in the words of the mathematical genius Peter J Higginbotham, “don’t go chasing points”. Like Danger the week before, wasn’t disgraceful, but was a bloody let down to those who made him captain. Callan Ward (72 SC) A rare blemish from the man who looks like an amazon warrior. Many in the past have gazed at Callan’s splendid physic, but the Crows appeared to have developed a crafty game plan that didn’t involve admiring the almost-perfect specimen. I wouldn’t be worrying too much if I was a Ward owner and I still believe he will be a top eight midfielder comes season’s end. Luke Parker (67 SC) His yo-yo form continues. Seems to thrive on going from hero to zero and then vice versa. His strengths are inside grunt work and drifting forward to kick goals. But, a runner he is not. In fact, he bloody looks pigeon-toed sometimes. It’s a real concern, Community. Sometimes he actually looks like he is struggling to cover the ground.
Honourable mentions: Joel Selwood (82 SC), Aaron Hall (68 SC), Sam Kerridge (68 SC), Zach Merrett (74 SC), Jack Viney (65 SC).
Look at that midfield. Ryan bloody Davis scored higher than Luke Parker, Callan Ward and Tom Liberatore. pic.twitter.com/Umh0LtfkdZ
— Barron Von Crow (@BarronVonCrow) May 30, 2016
Chad Wingard (136 SC)
It appears as though he has got his mojo back. No doubt about it, the Chad is an absolute freak when he is up and about. I offended a Hawthorn supporter once by saying I thought he was a better player than Cyril when both players are in top form. The enigma that is Chad looks to be starting to get on a roll and seems to be a fair investment at a cheap price, provided he can keep current form up.
Jeremy Howe (125 SC)
It’s time to sit up and start taking notice of this man. Once known only for his ability to take the odd hanger, it appears Nathan Buckley is turning Jezza into a player of substance. It’s all very hard to believe, I know. The combination of Buckley being a good coach and Howe turning into a SC player we care about is hard to fathom.
Darcy Byrne-Jones (88 SC)
Was down and out for the count – had a high break even and traded out by thousands of sides. But make no mistake, this little dynamo is an absolute trooper. An old school footballer, the young man is as tough as nails and his tenacity is a pleasure to watch. Kudos to those who held him, as he will prove a valuable asset playing him on the field for weeks to come. A potential defence bench keeper.Honourable mentions: Brodie Smith (108 SC), Ryan Davis (90 SC), Michael Barlow (85 SC), Matt Suckling (96 SC).
Anthony McDonald-Tippa (82 SC)
Epitomises the Essendon spirit. They might not be the best team but they have a fair dinkum crack. They put in 100 per cent. They show some effort. And you have to admire them for that. Tippa is a prime example. Despite not leading the AFL in the talent department, he goes in every week and has a red hot dip. It’s all very heartening to watch.
Christian Petracca (51 SC)
Talked him up significantly last week, but the young bull let us down. Overwhelmed by a physical Port Adelaide and the intense heat of Alice Springs, Petracca just wasn’t up to the task on the day. I believe he will bounce back, however.
Jacob Hopper (57 SC)
The buzz bubble kid of the last round was not quite at his best against the Crows. Still made 50-odd grand in his first price rise and has plenty more cash to generate. Job security is good and is playing in the middle, even if he does butcher the ball from time to time. A wise selection and I wouldn’t be surprised to see another couple of strong games from him in the future.Honourable mentions: Josh Dunkley (89 SC), Josh Smith (78 SC), Darcy Parish (67 SC), George Hewett (63 SC), Rhys Mathieson (53 SC), Ben Crocker (52 SC), Mason Cox (47 SC), Ben Keays (49 SC)
Ollie “Let down” Wines (62 SC)
Just hasn’t been himself in 2016. As far as previous form goes, there has arguably been no bigger let down this season than Oliver Wines. Where has that contested-possession beast with the glistening quads gone? Looks a shadow of his former self. Was picked by many with the potential to be an ultra premo keeper. Sadly, those that have him must now look at upgrade options.
Jarrad “Overrated” Waite (56 SC)
Those of you that selected this man due to this blistering early season form – take a good hard look at yourselves. As a key forward, he was never going to be able to sustain those numbers. Many North Melbourne supporters criticized this column when it was rightly suggested that selecting Waite would be a trap. “His statistics show he is almost the best player in the AFL at the moment,” they said to me. Absolutely laughable. Was never going to be a top six forward.
Ben “Gone” Kennedy (29 SC)
Going, going…gone. For those that still have him, myself included, it will be an unbelievably satisfying rage trade. Played a full game, not listed as injured, so it defies belief how he could be so ordinary. Had been serviceable up until this performance. Has to go now. Will leak some serious cash after this so almost a must-trade.Honourable mentions: Sam Jacobs (73 SC), Shannon Hurn (60 SC), Jacob Weitering (59 SC), Paul Seedsman (55 SC), Mark Blicavs (53 SC), Jordan De Goey (51 SC), Mitchell Brown (46 SC), Jack Steele (28 SC), Michael Hartley (19 SC), Marc Murphy (12 SC).
Over to you Community, who were your Heroes and Villains from this round?
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