This is the emergency warning system.If you’re a defender and you play at the Western Bulldogs, get out. Get out now. A rogue, vengeful agent is causing untold damages to dog defenders and we have no idea where they will strike next. We’re losing men at a rate unseen since all the Gold Coast midfielders caught the plague last year, and we have grave concerns for all those who remain. If you are in the danger zone, evacuate. The last chopper out of Saigon The Kennel leaves in 24 hours. If you are still there when the last chopper leaves, may God have mercy on your knees, hamstrings and soul. [TRANSMISSION ENDS]
GOD DAMN, COMMUNITY. It’s a big one this week. A mammoth one. Too much to cram into a singular Panic Room. But I’ll be buggered if I don’t give it a shot.
Make sure you have a gander at Lek’s cheat sheet and Barron’s rookie report – they are pieces of Fantasy wisdom far greater than what which I can create.
RIGHT. LET’S GET COOKING.
Nathaniel Fyfe is done for at least 8 weeks, probably the year. He’s gotta go. Piss the Teen Wolf right off and bring in a mega, super dooper premo in his place. As much as I respect and treasure Peter Higginbotham, I think the stalwart of our teams needs a like for like replacement. The points need to be injected.
One man you shouldn’t replace Fyfe with is Robbie Gray. Not only because his last few games have been putrid, but because he’s gone and done a hammy and is out for up to 3 weeks. I’d hold him. Also on the outer this week at Port is Chad Wingard, who has concussion, and Matthew Lobbe, who has been dropped like a sack of potatoes. Hold Chad, ditch Lobbe.
Alex Rance has copped two weeks for his ugly hit on Jack Watts last week. Hold him, albeit begrudgingly, because that was a very, very poor act from someone otherwise regarded as a gentleman of the game.
Truck is finally in! Christian Petracca has been confirmed to make his debut against the Saints this week, and joins other handy rookie ins in Jade Gresham, Ben Keays and Ryan Davis.
We also see relative unknowns in Fantasy terms make their debuts in Aliir Aliir from the Swans and Kieran Lovell from the Hawks. West Coast have also named possibly debutant Tom Cole on the extended bench for Sunday’s game.
However, we see defensive rookies Tom Ruggles managed by the Cats and Tom Lee dropped by the Saints. However, if you’ve got neither of these two, you might be faced with the strangely disturbing sight of 30 selected players, with Sam Grimely and Mason Cox both staying in their respective sides.
Matt Suckling is the latest Dog to go down in the backline. I’m holding him, but he seems to be out for 4 weeks, which might be too long for most. You can go either way on him. The DPP makes him much easier to cover using the likes of Mitch Brown, Marcus Adams and Anthony McDonald-Tipungwuti.
Two PODs that might hurt some this week include the resting of Devon Smith by the Giants to manage his knee and Tom Cutler’s nasty shoulder injury. He needs to be traded.
Anyone who has David Mundy (like my draft side) will be relieved to finally have him back. It will be interesting to see the role of Michael Barlow this week with Fyfe gone.
Scott Lycett is back for the Eagles, Ryan Crowley and James Polkinghorne have been named on the extended bench for the Bombers (Crowley should make the cut, ‘Horne probably won’t)
UPDATE: Collingwood hard nut Taylor Adams has been ruled out of the Pies’ trip to Perth with a knee injury. Tom Phillips is a chance to debut.
Oh god that was gruelling. What do I do next again?
Oh yes. How could I forget.
THE TALKING POINT
I’m not going to talk about Nat Fyfe. Jock, Higgo and Crouching extensively discussed this in the podcast this week, Lek brought it up in his cheat sheet.
I want to talk about trades. I’ve had a few people ask about trading Robbie Gray, many asking about Matthew Suckling and even someone somewhere asking if we should trade Alex Rance.
Many of you know the value of a trade. Many of you suffered the 24 trade game years ago. But for the sweet summer children who only know the game with 30 trades, trades are worth more than any material possession. As great Greek philosopher Homer said, trade is a like a beer. They sound good, they look good and you’d step over your own mother to get one!
But you can’t stop at one! You keep going and going, because they give you a nice buzz and you want to keep trading.
But come the depths of winter, many would sell their first born child for a few trades. By round 15, you willingly offer up limbs and by finals you’d sell your soul to the devil for just a solitary trade. Every time you go to use a trade, think long and hard about it. Then think again. If you don’t have to use it, don’t.
Or do. I mean I’m the Panic Room, not a cop. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.
Also, because I know you’ll ask about Fyfe anyway, I’m going to Luke Parker. I would also heartily endorse going to Gary Ablett, Scott Pendlebury, Callan Ward or Matt Priddis. In that order.
Gosh she’s a long one already, isn’t she? Quick refresher, if you score more than your breakeven, your price goes up. The more you outscore it, the more it goes up. The further short you fall of it, the more you crash.
-78 – Darcy Bryne-Jones
-55 – Josh Wagner
-35 – Ciaran Bryne
-28 – Lincoln ‘The President’ McCarthy
-9 – Sam Kerridge
-5 – Michael Hartley
-5 – Anthony McDonald-Tipungwuti
31 – Connor Menadue
43 – Marcus Adams
54 – Ben Kennedy
185 – Bachar Houli
170 – Stefan Martin
166 – Josh Gibson
164 – Tom Rockcliff
155 – Leigh Montagna
154 – Gary Ablett
146 – Mark Blicavs
136 – Dustin Martin
122 – Heath Shaw
This week, we are naming the Captain’s segment after noble steed Boaty McBoatface, to honour that name’s eternal struggle against party poopers everywhere. If you Tired McTiredface of this joke format, I have nothing more to say to you.
With a lot of rookies returning, many people are finding themselves in the same McBoatface as I am – with no loophole. If you do have a loop available, us it on Todd Goldstein. The Dogs don’t have a quality ruckman, and if we think back to the last time Todd rocked Etihad against a weak ruckman, he scored 200 points against Shaun McKernan. Lock. Him. In.
Max Gawn is a great selection this week, having developed into the monster we were all expecting. So too is Patrick Dangerfield against the Suns. Luke Parker should also enjoy himself against the Lions.