THE PANIC ROOM – Round 4
“With one hand the Supercoach gods giveth, and with the other hand they taketh away” – Jock Reynolds.
This is one of my favourite sayings of Jock’s. You could say I’m a huge avocado of this phrase. But it always rings true.
Round four is supposed to be a nice round. We were bracing ourselves for a nice round of leaning back, beer in hand and watching rookies appreciate in value. We’re not supposed to have a care in the world.
But while our backs were turned, someone snuck in and stole our rookies.
Our rookies are like our children. They fight, they act up, and sometimes you just want to slap them upside the head, but you don’t. Because they’re the future – not only of the game, but more importantly your cash generation for the year.
Which is why this week’s team announcement was dealt with a callous hand and a cold heart – as coaches took one set of rookies and replaced them with a fresh set.
Let’s get into it.
Won’t somebody PLEASE think of the rookies? These poor kids need a clear run at the thing, and that’s not what they’re getting this year. George Hewett, Lincoln McCarthy, Nick Kommer and bubble-boy Jayden Short are all out this week. McCarthy may be having a rest given his injury history, but the other two look dropped.
But as per the Wisdom of Jock, the Supercoach gods also giveth. And giveth in spades they did. Jayden Hunt, new Blue Liam Sumner, giants Jacob Hopper and Jorden Pickett, Docker Darcy Tucker and American Big Friendly Giant Mason Cox have all been named to make their debuts.
Tucker and Cox are at the mercy of the extended benches, and I don’t expect we’ll see them, but that’s a lot of fresh meat at a time where we want our cows appreciating, not getting dropped. On top of interrupted seasons to popular starting selections Michael Hartley, Tom Ruggles and Daniel Rioli (all of whom are named), cash generation this year is on struggle street.
The backline is in a bit of upheaval this week. While Josh Gibson has been rested after a few weeks of leather poisoning, Daniel Rich returns for the Lions. Trent McKenzie will miss a few weeks after having his nose smashed like a watermelon last week.
Most of the news beyond this is relatively benign.
Sydney skipper Jarryd McVeigh returns, as do Luke Hodge, Steele ‘Sidebum’ Sidebottom and Chad ‘The Chad’ Wingard. However, rumours have swirled that Hodge was “nowhere to be seen” as the team left for Tassie this morning.
David Mundy is still missing from the Dockers’ lineup, that is now even more shaken by the loss of Aaron ‘Jeez You’re Tall’ Sandilands and the news Harley Bennell will not grace the football field for two months. Which brings us to The Talking Point.
UPDATE.. What’s going on with Priddis!?! Is he playing!? Who knows?
— Impromptu (@ImpromptuSC) April 15, 2016
And, of course Adelaide midfielder Brad Crouch hasn’t been named this week, and is still a week or two away from returning. If you can hold, do so, but I would personally give him the flick if I had him.
THE TALKING POINT
Part I – The Rookies
In regards to the loss of rookies this week – I can’t see George Hewitt breaking back into the side any time soon, and he needs to go. I won’t be ditching him this week; instead having another week to look at rookies.
However, if you need to go this week, Tom Ruggles looks to be a longer term rookie. Michael Hartley survived this week, but I’m not sure if he, Mitch Brown and Nathan Grima can all exist in the same team, so would caution against bringing him in with Grima on the cusp of selection.
Lincoln McCarty is possibly being rested? Considering he had a very good game last week, I can’t see why he’d be dropped. Hold him – he should be back.
Part II – Michael BarNO
A hard conversations need to be had over the Supercoach future of Michael Barlow – does Bennell’s absence keep him forward? Does Mundy’s push him into the midfield. Will he be able to do anything in the midfield? Who knows?
I said if he didn’t ton up last week, he’d never ton up and the bastard flaunted a 99 in our face. WHAT THE BLOODY HELL DOES THAT MEAN, MICHAEL? ARE YOU UP TO BREAKING THREE FIGURES? OR ARE YOU JUST GOING TO BLOODY TAUNT US?!?
I’m giving the royal douchenozzle one last shot against North, but only because I want to see Zach Merrett score 90+ against a top side in Geelong before I pick him. I wouldn’t condemn anyone from bringing in significant PODs in Dayne Zorko or Leigh Montagna for him this week though, especially as he’s been named on the extended bench…
Watch out for the Sunday teams. If he’s dropped, he’s got to go.
Having a gander at those who will rise and those who will fall. Remember, Eddie Murphy is on the way up and Dan Aykroid is on the way down, because I’ve only seen the first half of the movie and this analysis is correct up to the point I stopped watching.
I mean I read the rest of the plot on Wikipedia and know the metaphor falls apart when (spoiler) they both make bucketloads of cash but shhhhh.
-99 – Marcus Adams
-70 – Michael Hartley
-57 – Anthony McDonald-Tipungwuti
-44 – Sam Kerridge
-40 – Tom Papley
-38 – Matt Dea
-27 – Jacob Weitering
-25 – Mitch McGovern
-3 – Ben Kennedy
163 – Marcus Bontempelli
162 – Matt Priddis
153 – Jordan Lewis
146 – Adam Treloar
137 – Heath Shaw
129 – Chad Wingard
THAT CAPTAIN SEGMENT… THING
Captain A-Meh-Rica was a terrible pun. I’m not sure how I found it amusing in the first place, so I’m now taking suggestions.
In relevant things, Nic Naitanui scored 146 against Richmond last year and would back him with a VC nod this week. Otherwise, Patrick Dangerfield destroyed Essendon in the NAB cup, and I’d sadly wager he’ll do it again this week.
I’d avoid Nat Fyfe like the plague this week as he’ll be getting the Ben Jacobs treatment, but Gary Ablett loves the Q-Clash in a way none of the rest of us do. To be honest, I think it’s in the name. AFL, Stop trying to make Q-Clash happen, it will never happen. Anywho, Ablett is a very valid captaincy option, as is Todd ‘The God’ Goldstein against a Sandi-less Freo.
Who the hell put that wayward L in Godstein’s name? #supercoach
— Patch (@PatchToTheMax) April 10, 2016
However, Jon Griffin has a habit of ineffectually getting in the way. I mean, he’s not a great ruckman – in fact he’s only just touching the category of good ruckman – but I’m not sure he’ll be monstered in the same way… hmm, let’s say Brodie Grundy will get monstered.
Which is why my smokie C pick this week is Maxy Gawn. After showing he’s up to the mantle of King of the Jungle, at this stage he is my captain. He could make Lobbe’s dismantling in the NAB look tame.
THAT’S ALL, FOLKS! Good luck this week, you beautiful specimens of humanity.
5.00 Update: Final Sunday teams are out, and Michael Barlow has been named on the interchange bench, which is really bloddy annoying because I was getting pumped to flick him. Think he gets one more week in the PODtatoes. Mason Cox didn’t make the cut for the Pies, and there is still no word on one Matthew Priddis.
6.45 Update: MATT PRIDDIS IS OUT. Some bloke named Mark Hitchings comes in for him. DO NOT TRADE the curly haired ball magnet. If I find any of you trading him, I will climb through this screen and shake you back to your senses. HOLD. Replace him with a rookie.