Patch’s Grand Final Panic Room – Round 22

Published by Patch on

Patch - Supercoach Panic Room Master

Here we are community. We’re here – Supercoach grand final week. After a long and arduous season, it seemed like we’d never reach the end, but here we are.

Congratulations to all who have made it to the last week of August, and commiserations to those who haven’t. It’s been a bully of a year, but we’ve bravely fought on where others have dropped off.

Before I get into this week, I need to thank Jock, Higgo and Crouching for giving me this space, and for being magnificent gentlemen in every sense of the word. The other guys on the site – Chicko, Dex and Barron – also get huge props for doing what they’ve done, while Lek gets his own shout-out for going above and beyond the call of duty. Keep an eye out for the moustachioed marvel video tonight and his special video next week.

I also need to thank you, community. Because you are the gosh darn nicest place I’ve ever run into on the internet. You’re wonderful.

Now, before everyone gets soppy we need to get into the important thing – our quest for Supercoach victory.


On the bright side, it’s not as bad as last year’s grand final week. On the other hand, it is still bad. Nathaniel Fyfe is out for the rest of the home and away season, as is Marc Murphy.

Trent Cotchin misses this week with a back niggle, while Luke Hodge has been suspended for 2 weeks after trying to wrap Chad Wingard’s head around a goalpost with his elbow. (Continuing his run as the leader of the ‘Doing-Stupid-Things-To-Damage-Your-Supercoach-Team-At-The-Worst-Possible-Time’ award.)

Sydney duo Tom Mitchell and Lance Franklin have been named… but Titch is on an extended bench and Buddy’s back is still bad. Got a bad feeling about this, community. My gut feel is Titch plays and Buddy misses. But I mean they both might miss. It is grand final week after all.

Popular rookies Caleb Daniel and Shaun Edwards will miss, both having been omitted from their respective sides. However, Karl Amon and Jake Lever return.

James Kelly returns for Geelong, while Liam Picken also helps beef up our defensive line. Jack Ziebell and Devon Smith also return for their respective sides.

Anyone with Josh Caddy, Jack Redden, Heritier “The Gift” Lumumba or Andrew Carrazzo will be without them this week.


It’s the last week of the year. If you have trades left, I don’t want to hear it. You’re either devilishly lucky or so thrifty Scrooge McDuck would be putting up his hands crying poor. I mean that’s brilliant that you’ve got trades left. Your level of self-control is admirable.But there mere thoughts of people with trades has me seething. Out of pure spite, I don’t want to give you options. But I should.

So – down back, when ditching Hodge, look to Houli, Shaw or Picken to bring you home. Up forward, Wingard, Zorko or Harvey will get the job done. In the midfield, pull in the highest averaging guy you don’t have.

Simple. Easy. Now go use your trades, you disciplined, impressive yet irritating humans. The rest of us are just going to sulk over here for a bit.


Price is now irrelevant. Breakevens are useless. Farewell, Eddie and Dan.

Good luck to every single one of you this week community. (Except General Soreness. Bring it on, sir.) It has been a pleasure being here each week. Now, to victory‼


General Soreness · 28/08/2015 at 14:59

Patch your work this season has been stellar providing an oasis of hope amongst the panic of a Friday night. The Trading Places reference also holds a special place.

If only I had trades left to utilise this patch up 🙁

Well done mate, good luck in your finals, except the one against me were I hope your players are vested early or are late outs. 🙂

    I N Pieman · 28/08/2015 at 15:12

    How good does that Beams to Sloane trade look now! True genius General.

Mister_Spock · 28/08/2015 at 15:21

Thanks for all of your work this season Patch!

Quick question:

Good news: I've made the GF! Bad news: no more trades, so need to replace Fyfe with someone from my bench, choice of either:

Option 1: Lambert (against weak Bombers side)
Option 2: Krakouer (against old Gold Coast side)
Option 3: Nick O'Brien (against Richmond)

All three are capable of 100 scores, but just as likely 50's and 60's, and all potential snot vest candidates.

Thoughts community?

    Adam · 28/08/2015 at 16:15


      Tony · 28/08/2015 at 20:54


Mac · 28/08/2015 at 15:38

1 trade left! Plenty of money

Shaw, Hodge, Simpson, Gibson, Murphy, Newnes, Goddard, Pearce
Fyfe, Priddis, Hanners, JPK, Rocky, Treloar, Sloane, Danger, Lambert, O'Brien, Adamson
Goldy, Maric, Read
Gray, Martin, Swan, Buddy, Dahlhaus, Goddard, Steele, Daniel


    I N Pieman · 28/08/2015 at 15:41

    Priddis is in doubt. I'd hold on pulling the trigger on your trade until it's confirmed either way

      Mac · 28/08/2015 at 16:03

      I have Hodge and Fyfe definitely out. Do I trade Hodge? If I don't trade Hodge I'll be relying on Pearce or Goddard to cover whereas if I trade Hodge Lambert can cover Fyfe

        I N Pieman · 28/08/2015 at 16:17

        Lambert & O'Brien on the field is better than Pearce or Goddard I suppose. Tough call

        J_Drama · 28/08/2015 at 18:08

        I'm in exactly the same position Mac…
        Gonna play Lambert for fyfe and use my last trade for Hodge to Picken

          travi · 28/08/2015 at 19:25

          whats the doubt on priddis? havent heard anything?

    Adam · 28/08/2015 at 16:16

    Lambert on for fyfe
    Hodge to picken

Oliver · 28/08/2015 at 16:20

Hi community, first off thanks for all the terrific advice this season, it helped me make my GF. Have one trade left now, kind of disappointed I traded Picken last week as I now have Fyfe and Hodge out. Going Fyfe to Dangerfield which will leave me B Evans from Brisbane as cover for Priddis if he is out. I need to pick out of Hamling and Beasley for my last spot. Brisbane will get slaughtered, but at least the ball should be down back to collect some pill. What do you think community?

Liam · 28/08/2015 at 16:27

VC selwood and C dangerfield??

    I N Pieman · 28/08/2015 at 16:45

    Could work

      Liam · 28/08/2015 at 16:47

      Or vc shaw and C danger/priddis

Skippy Barstard · 28/08/2015 at 16:49

My best year yet thanks to all for the great advice over the season, can the authors of this site Jock, Higgo, Crouching, Patch, Chiko, Dex, Barron and Lekdog put out a final standings of where they finished overall by chance :-D, cheers

I N Pieman · 28/08/2015 at 16:51

Great service throughout the year Patch. Congrats in advance on knocking the General over. Enjoy your mad monday

Late rumour · 28/08/2015 at 17:25

Rumour going around that Priddis will miss (rested) and Titch will be Sub (is this like the Goddard rumour from last week and just rubbish) or is there substance?

Frank · 28/08/2015 at 18:04

One trade up my sleeve with a full team and 8 GF's. Hodge on pine for Brodie Smith – god help me… Will pull the trigger on Gawn (against Sandi) to Lids if no other mishaps during the round. Also Goldy VC into JPK. Bring it.

Mac · 28/08/2015 at 18:17

Heath Shaw worth a VC?

    Pauly Walnuts · 28/08/2015 at 19:38

    i thought about it but going Goldy as vc, but could change to vc Shaw into Goldy

Liam · 28/08/2015 at 18:55

Shaw or selwood VC?

    top hawk · 28/08/2015 at 19:17

    I am gonna take a punt on Selwood. He is a beast and the cats have to win tonight. Hope he has a cracker.

spug_a · 28/08/2015 at 19:23

If you had to pick the highest scoring midfielder this week, who would it be from the following?

Danger, Sloane or Priddis?

Risky · 28/08/2015 at 19:37

Thoughts on Fyfe to Guthrie

top hawk · 28/08/2015 at 19:39

G day Community,

In the grand final with one trade left. My opponent is ranked around 1200 and I am ranked around 7000.

Its time for the biggest trade of the year. I am going Nat Fyfe out and Cam Guthrie in. Hope it delivers me choccies tonight!


Pauly Walnuts · 28/08/2015 at 19:40

Cloke out ?

    top hawk · 28/08/2015 at 19:47


spug_a · 28/08/2015 at 22:47

Slow start to the round, need to make up around 100 pts so it's going to come down to the Captain's choice. Opponent currently has Goldy, who has the best chance of scoring more than him?

Options are Shaw, Gray, Sloane or Dangerfield. The only problem with Shaw is that he plays before Goldy, with the other guys I can choose my C depending on how Goldy scores.

Good luck to everyone else in the final!

    gazdog · 29/08/2015 at 15:04

    vc goldy, c on danger

Mac · 29/08/2015 at 08:22

Picken or Houli???

    Ifartyousmell · 29/08/2015 at 11:12

    Worried about wet match so picken

Inkpinkyoustink · 29/08/2015 at 11:10

Selwood did smelly fart last night injuring swan and playing like demented sheepdog

Paul · 29/08/2015 at 12:59

Luckily, I saved two trades for this week. Unluckily, I'm already out of both leagues so they won't help me much!

But just for fun, 1114k to get a MID and a DEF:
Sloane + Picken/Burgoyne/McDonald
Shaw + MID or FWD under 500k (Burgoyne, Hartlett, Ellis, Wingard…?)

    gazdog · 29/08/2015 at 15:53

    sloane + picken a good choice

gazdog · 29/08/2015 at 15:52

Hey fellas,
Who to trade in for FYFE??
Mundy, Sloane, or anyone else??

Liam · 29/08/2015 at 19:28

JPK or Hanners captain????

    Dave2008 · 29/08/2015 at 19:58

    JPK safe option Hanners if you are down

Dave2008 · 29/08/2015 at 19:57

Use last trade to take Tarrants 122 or bring in Danger for Fyfe? Basically Danger and Gawn (v Sandi) or Mitchell and 122. 122 in the bank is tempting opponent has Danger C.

    gazdog · 29/08/2015 at 22:43

    I am in the same situation, however you should bring in Danger.

      Dave2008 · 29/08/2015 at 23:16

      Yep that was my first thought but it comes down to will danger score over 127 and Gawn equal Mitchell who could be the sub.

Please Help · 29/08/2015 at 23:01

With grand finals on the line,
who out of B Smith or Newnes should i bench so i can get Malceski (108) also
who out of Danger, Sloane, Priddis, JPK or Armitage should i bench for Amon (133)

WombatsFC · 08/12/2015 at 22:41

I'm thinking that Jock might actually be Warnie. Why do think that?
Is it the, wig, gambling addiction and racism crudely disguised as humour? Or is it the sexism, exaggerated claims of sexual prowess and total disregard for sponsors and supporters?

No, it's the fact that he promoted the hell out of the 'community' aspect and how it was all about the game whilst he profited from the hard work and input of blokes like Throttlefinger, Dexter, Silent Achiever, Piesman, et al to produce a book that generated enough cash for him and his cohorts to comfortably retire.
The truly Warnie bit was when he pulled the pin on the 'Community' just when the competition was coming to the business end of the season.

Jock's not really not as bad as Warnie, Warnie uses more than 83% of the donations to the 'Warne Foundation' to pay for his parties and pay management salary to family members. Lol, we called Murali a cheat.

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