Patch’s Panic Room – Round 14
Once again, we have hit the end of the Supercoach week and find ourselves with absolute carnage. We have huge outs. Sloane, Franklin, Bennel, Roughead, and more, but compared to the next three names they are laughably insignificant.
I can’t put it any better than Seeker. Or Chicko, for that matter, whose use of words at a time when they failed most – myself included – was astounding. Or Lek, or Dex, or any of the 240 commenters on the final Sunday Podcast. While it makes me unbelievably sad to write the words “last Sunday Podcast”, the outpouring from the community has been touching for Jock, Higgo and Crouching, and everyone else involved here. Because that’s what this place is about – the community. You, reading this now, are why this place exists. So, while thanking the boys for four years of exemplary service to the game of Supercoach, our Sunday evenings and for – personally – reminding me to laugh at times when laughter was the last thing on my mind, I also want to thank YOU, community, on behalf of us all here. You are why we are here. Every comment, every view, every tweet… you are what make this place bloody special. And we will keep going, keep soldiering on, because you are here. It is a pleasure – no, a privilege – to be here. The wheels keep turning. The tide keeps flowing. The sun keeps rising.
I’m getting emotional so I’m going to go eat some Tim Tams. Lots of them.
Right. Every piece of chocolate in my house has been devoured. I feel better. A little bit. Now, I have a confession to make. I have six trades left. I will not reach full premium. My side this year has been wracked by injury – fourteen trade worthy injuries, plus weekly niggles – but it is still inexcusable. And Crouching One let me know about it this week. He will send me to Pyanmar on Sunday night to learn the way of the jungle. I will learn to cage fight and how to properly fly-kick flogs out of my side – something I have failed to do with Ryan Griffin and Jasper Pittard this year. The timing is almost as bad as my side is, I know, but Crouching wasn’t having a bar of it. So, as a precursor to The News, I have been dropped (or, more accurately, drop kicked) for two weeks to find some form.
There are many different types of sadness. There is the sadness you feel when you reach the last Tim Tam in the packet. The sadness you feel when your favourite podcast announces it will finish. That was all put into perspective this morning with the news of Phil Walsh’s death in Adelaide this morning. That is a bigger type of sadness. A numbing type. And with that sadness reverberating through the football world, I’d like to send my heart out to everyone impacted by Walshy’s death.
What it means for Supercoach – I don’t know. The game has been canceled, and rightly so – who could play football under these conditions? It hardly matters what happens to our Supercoach sides when a giant of the game – who has spent time at half the clubs in the league – is killed. Nonetheless, if anything is announced I’ll try and let you know.
Now to the actual news, the news that dictates how terribly our sides will be doing this week. The Supercoach Gods were obviously as distraught as we were about the podcast this week, and as such dropped absolute carnage – again – on our sides.
Rory Sloane has broken his jaw. Again. He will be out for a month minimum, more realistically six weeks. A kick in the teeth for those of us who have traded him in only a week or two ago. Some have wasted seven trades between Tom Rockliff (who is a 50/50 for this week) and Sloane alone. Trade him to a premo. I’ve gone a straight swap to JPK.
Suspensions – if you’ll pardon the pun – have whacked us right in the face this week. Lance Franklin and Kurt Tippet will miss a week each (although I consider Buddy very lucky to get only one), and Mr Fix-It in the ruck, Stef Martin, will miss two weeks. I wouldn’t be surprised if I see him in Pyanmar with one of Crouching’s rum cans stuck in unmentionable places. Unless you have more than 12 trades, hold all three.
The news on Stef Martin makes news of Essendon’s Jake Carlisle six week ankle injury pertinent, as it will have a large impact on their structure. Indication so far is that Shaun McKernan will continue in the ruck, which will be good for his scores, while Michael Hurley will play forward, which will be bad for his. McKernan is relevant this week as the poor man’s Max Gawn – solid ruck cover and a possible F6 or 7. I reckon Gawn will average 90, and McKernan 80 from here on out; provided both play in the ruck. Both good pick-ups, especially with Stef Martin down, but I will be picking McKernan as I am poor.
Jarryd Roughead will also miss Hawthorn’s match against Collingwood after having a melanoma removed from his lip. I’m wishing him all the best, because cancer is a rather terrifying prospect. At this stage, it’s not known how long he’ll miss, but it shouldn’t be more than two. It is listed as “indefinite” though.
Gary Ablett returns this week – hopefully ending the #GazWatch hashtag. He will replace Harley Bennell in the side, who had pictures of him with the wrong things up his nose surface in the media. Plenty of cracking jokes to be made here, but I won’t speed after the quick laughs. I’m much more meth-odical than that. In other, totally unrelated news, I’m sending someone to see if Josh Glenn has actually been up Harley Bennel’s nose this whole time. I’ll get back to you tomorrow on that one.
Geelong veterans Jimmy Bartel and James Kelly are due to return this week, but Mitch Clark is still a week or two off returning. Time for him to go, and #BartelWatch begins to see how far he drops in price and if he can be snaffled cheaply.
Jack Reiwoldt wasn’t seen at Richmond’s training this morning, prompting rumours that he will miss. No more information than that is available, but if it becomes so, we’ll let you know.
And finally, Sydney young gun Tom Mitchell has been named on the bench. Surely Dean Towers will be sub, surely… surely…
I’ll be back tomorrow morning with the rest of the team news, so make sure you pop in! Unfortunately, I won’t be around the comments tonight or much of tomorrow, which is frustrating, but as someone said to me this week, “sometimes life gets in the way”.
Sam Docherty has done a hammy and will miss a few weeks. Hold him.Paul Seedsman has been dropped, alongside Bailey Dale and Lukas Webb. Pearce Hanley has strained a hamstring and will miss against Fremantle. Carlton tagger Andrew Carrazzo has been sidelined with a toe problem.
Cyril Rioli is back into the Hawthorn side this week, Hugh Goddard has been named on an extended bench again and Caleb Daniel has finally been named for his first game. Jake Lever and Ricky Henderson have been named, but as mentioned the Cats-Crows game is still up in the air following Phil Walsh’s death.
THE PATCH UP
I’ve briefly Gawn over my thoughts of the ruck situation (geddit?) in the news. Both are valuable buys. If you can get Gawn, do so, but don’t discount Shaun McKernan as I think his job security is much better at Essendon.
But I’m going to look into who should replace the Sloane Ranger this week.
If you have buckets of cash, a) I am incredibly envious and b) get yourself the best damn premium your money can buy. Paddy Dangerfield. Dan Hannebury. Dayne Beams. Matt Priddis. Leigh Montagna. Brett Deledio and his dodgy Achilles. One of them. Poke a stick in the general direction of that list and pick whichever one you hit (but personally I’d go with Danger, Beams or Montagna).
If you’re like me and you’re too poor to do anything, Josh P Kennedy or Joel Selwood are who you’d want to look at, or possible Boomer Harvey or my pick of the week Chad ‘The Chad’ Wingard at 510k. Averaged 110 over his last 3 and 100 over his last 5. In the midfield. And even better, I don’t have him so can’t curse him for you!
Breakevens are slowly losing their relevance as our teams solidify, but Trading Places will stay for a while longer.
231 – G. Ablett
231 – J. Bartel
188 – P. Hanley
167 – R. Gray
163 – T. Mitchell
156 – P. Dangerfield
144 – D. Martin
-67 – J. Glenn
-51 – T. McLean
-39 – S. Colquhoun
-38 – T. Broomhead
-33 – K. Brooksby
-20 – M. Gawn
-8 – J. Lever
-7 – S. McKernan
-6 – A. Boston
-4 – K. Lambert
The rookie rumble is no longer around now we’re all at… “full” …premium, and hopefully we won’t need it until next season!
It’s carnage this week and they’ve only named one team. And we’ve call 18 sides worth of carnage to deal with, too. It’s going to be a long weekend, community, and not the good sort of long weekend. Supercoach winter is here. Bunker down. Conserve trades. Remember the good times. And to Jock, Higgo and Crouching, again we thank you.