Patch’s Panic Room – Round 4
Oh dear. Oh goodness gracious me. One a scale of 1 to 10 of how bad the carnage this week is, I think this has flown straight past 12 and is nudging ‘Throwing a Fridge at Your Computer’ territory.
Wines. Bartel. Lamb. McGrath. Deledio to miss. Again. Nick Riewoldt, Byrne, Cooney. Doubts on The Bont’s calf. We’ve got huge issues in the backline, with Brett Goodes and Thumper Kolladajazz-however you spell it- underperforming. I’m not in the mood for spelling. I’m not in the mood for much this week community. The ruckmen not named Todd Goldstein are shot to pieces. Griffin is underperforming and we’ve only got two trades to fix it all with and the last minute news on Robbie Gray has sent my teeth gnashing and THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But we must remain calm, community. This is a test. The Supercoach Gods seek to challenge us. Those who escaped the injury carnage this week have been spared. Save those trades. Those trades will be gold in a few months, as men and women will be falling over themselves, offering their own bloody children in their outstretched hands for that final trade that would bring Our Lord and Saviour back into their sides. They are testing our faith. We must remain strong.
Oliver “The Quadzilla” Wines – dislocated wrist, out for 4-6. Hurts the Power, hurts us. More job security for Krakouer but he’s got to go. I’m holding for a week because I have more issues elsewhere and am confident Heeney can come onto the field, but he’s gotta go this week or next. Push up to a super premo if you can, down to a Neale, Judd or Swan if you are strapped for cash.
James Bartel – I thought if I was going to be cursing a Jimmy four rounds in it would be James Hird for some peptide related monstrosity. Not James Bartel, a stalwart of many a Supercoach side for years and years. Unfortunately he’s gone for two months having scored a 5 for us last week. Not much we can do. Trade him to a forward premium, any premium, as long as the premium isn’t Brett the “I’ll Be Back Next Week” Delidio.
Brett the “I’ll Be Back Next Week” Delidio – I hate when coaches lie to us. I know they never know the extent of the injury, they have more to worry about but don’t tease us. I don’t have ‘Lids’ but I’m still livid that he didn’t play last week. I have no confidence he’ll be back next week, or even the week after. The rumours in the footysphere are saying a fortnight. If I had the trades, I’d flick him ASAP, if not sooner. Will cause problems all year, but he’s below the long term injuries to McGrath, Lamb, Wines and Bartel in priorities to deal with this week.
Tom Lamb & Jayden McGrath – out for 8-12 weeks each. No good. Fortunately, the #KrakIsBack, now with 70% enhanced job security due to Wines missing. If you’ve got the trades, swap ‘em over.
Riewoldt – if you are one of the 5400 people with St Nick, hold. He’ll be back next week. If they were playing in Melbourne he’s have been a chance.
Chris Judd – hasn’t made the trip across to NZ due to back problems, but will only miss one. Unless you have sneaky plans to the contrary, hold him. Same as Saint Nick, would have played a home game.
Byrne – hold. Nowhere to go and he’s not urgent. Has done a hammy and will be back in 2-3.
Robbie Gray – just when you thought you couldn’t sink lower, the Supercoach god have kicked us again. Robbie Gray will not play the Hawks tomorrow night, leaving a massive void in or forward lines. Should only be a week, but we’ve all heard that before. Thankfully we’ve got bigger fish to fry so can’t contemplate doing any more than leaving him on the pine.
It’s back. I’m going to briefly have a look at the backline today, as it’s a hole many of us have fallen into. 20’000 of us have Kade Kolo… Kolojazzknee, Kolla… oh I’m not even going to bother in this mood – 20’000 of us have KK and another 42 thousand are stuck with Brett Goodes. Neither gambles have paid off. If you’ve got trades to spare and the cash to do it, go to Brodie Smith or Kade Simpson or Heath Shaw if you haven’t got him. They’ll drop heaps in price throughout the year but we’ll all need them eventually. If you’ve got no cash, we don’t have any option other than sit tight. They shouldn’t leak too much cash, so sit quiet and pray they make their breakevens.
Goodes is on an extended bench, but you don’t know if he’ll get it. You’d hope not, as with a full game he’d make you a 60 or 70, but by gum he’s irritating. KK is the same. I’m going to try and loop him on the bench with Hamling and McIntosh this week, but if you can’t, I’d actually start all three of Saad, Oxley and McIntosh ahead of both of them.
The rucks have nearly cost me my hair this week, but Chicko has covered that already so I direct you to his magnificent write-up instead of badgering you about it here.
That said, with all this carnage, not too many people can afford to fix holes this week.
If you’ve got more queries, tweet me @PatchToTheMax or chuck a comment down below where I’ll do what I can to help ‘Patch’ you up.
Hehe… never gets old.
If you need a refresh, Eddie Murphy is on the way up, and Dan Akyroyd is on the way down. But if you needed that refresher, go watch this movie again. Classic. Remember that I’m ignoring those players who are injured or those who have played only one game.*
*unless they’re Tom Rockliff
The Eddie Murphy’s
-96 – Adam Oxley
-76 – Cam Ellis-Yolman
-55 – Adam Saad
-49 – Corey Gregson
-48 – Jack Sinclair
vandenBerg at -23 and Touk Miller at -31
The Dan Akyroyd’s
278 – Tom Rockliff
229 – Jimmy Bartel
200 – Liam Shiels
195 – Brett Deledio
193 – Nick Malcheski
Mumford at 170 and Luke Parker at 166
THE ROOKIE RUMBLE
Let’s get straight into this.
If you can loop McIntosh by having a non-playing rookie on the field, do so, but otherwise start him against a weak Melbourne side. I’ve got Oxley just ahead of Saad this week. Keep Kelly on the bench after his 53-point first game last week. Whitecross a sub risk.
You’ve got to start Cam Ellis-Yolman, and vandenBerg should get a full game with the vest going to Michie. Heeney has proven himself but flying to Perth puts him behind. Cripps should have a good run against Carlton. Newton and Brayshaw – as mentioned – shouldn’t get the vest, while I still think Touk Miller needs to show us more to make up for the first two 30s he gave us, despite his promising 86.
Ha! *cries softly*
They’ve been dropping like flies this week, so thank god we had heaps of them to start with! Hogan has done very well, and should do okay against the Tigers. Salem should avoid too much attention and is a good starting option. Young should get the power vest, so Krakouer is also a good starting option. While Lonie has been named on the ground, he hasn’t shown us massive scoring potential, so give him a miss if you can.
Lamb, Lambert and McGrath will need to be dealt with.