Christian “Bullseye” Salem: Hell of a set of Steak Knives!

PiemanI couldn’t tease the community & not follow up with researching Bullseye.

I call him Bullseye because everything you read & hear about the guy revolves around how good he is at hitting targets.

But before we analyse him to the bullseyeballs: it’s time to Whack Basket case Melbourne Pre Paul Roos.

What the hell were the Melbourne recruiters smoking when they passed on Nic Nat Dog Dog for Jack Watts, an unproven schoolboy bean pole? The rest of the recruiters must have been pissing themselves when Melbourne called his name, especially West Coast. Some of the recruiters probably didn’t even know he existed.

You’d think maybe that was just an isolated incident. Well it wasn’t. It’s not just the members who were disappearing to the slopes in winter. The recruiting team was there as well. I don’t need to tell you who all there botched first round selections are. You can find them all on street corners of the CBD selling “The Big Issue”. Hasn’t Melbourne had a few of those?

One day in the Melbourne Board room after plenty of bottles of red.

Who’s this Stefan Martin bloke? He’s a Dean Cox style Ruck Forward Midfielder. Err Dime a dozen, sounds useless, let’s get rid of him.

Wasn’t it fitting one of the teams he tore apart last season was Melbourne!

Rockcliffe, Hanley & Zorko appreciated him. The four man rampage they went on will never be forgotten.

Another boozy night in the boardroom:
Lads. The AFL & the fans aren’t happy with what’s going on around here. The AFL is insisting we get someone in here who knows what they’re doing, or they’ll be big trouble. Ah shit has it come to that already. Well we haven’t made a good decision for decades. Righty oh, whoever’s got the chequebook give it to Roosy.

Someone with a downed head handed Roosy a blank chequebook & he signed up. I couldn’t believe he did. It wasn’t a rebuild. It was start from scratch. He quickly realised recruiting & list management hadn’t been a strength at Melbourne. And he needed to find a bloke who knew a few things about junior football talent & couldn’t ski. And he found a cracker, Josh Mahoney.

Josh Kelly had been talked about for quite some time as the clear number 2 pick in the 2013 draft. And Melbourne was holding the keys. Mahoney stunned everyone by trading the rights to Kelly to GWS for some bloke called Dom Tyson a guy who’d played a hand full of games & pick 9. Based on history you could be forgiven for thinking this was just another Melbourne balls up. Pick 9 became Kelly’s Schoolboy friend Christian Salem. It must have been quite a schoolboy team with those 2.

Well it wouldn’t be a bad idea having a bob each way on Dom Tyson winning the Brownlow. The umpires certainly think he’s pretty good. In his first full season of senior footy he polled 11 votes in a train wreck. That is astonishing. He also finished the season with a very impressive SC av of 94. For effectively his first season in a team that won 4 games that’s incredible. Make sure he’s in your 2015 calculations.

What a ball tearer of trade Mahoney made in Kelly for Tyson on its own. And My god, what a set of steak knives that came with it: Christian Bullseye Salem.

In my Dependlebury article I discussed the rare an unteachable ability of pretty much situational awareness to instantly know which way to go & exactly what to do with the pill. Bullseye has this gift as well.

His Schoolboy coach Robert Shaw on Bullseye:
We are talking the school competition, which is a very strong competition, but he is the best kick I have seen at this level,

Some blokes can kick it 60m and it feels like it takes three minutes to get there, but no one gets the ball quicker from a to b than Salem.

He just makes it so difficult for the defenders to defend it because of the penetration and speed he puts on the ball. So it makes him a very clean and damaging player

You had me at best kick. Hence the 145 SC average in his TAC year. To be able to average that you have to be an incredibly accurate disposal & accumulator of them.

I seriously rate Robert Shaw as a coach & football analyst. I love listening to him on SEN. He knows his stuff. He doesn’t dish out praise like this for no reason.

Another review I found:
There are some elite ball users in this draft, but Salem can class himself a cut above most, so damaging is his ball use. Along with his damaging disposal, is his ability to hold his feet, rarely fumble or turn the ball over and always offers exceptional disposal under pressure. A supremely gifted athlete, Salem is a brilliant runner and when he takes off down a wing with the ball in hand, it is poetry in motion – he is a ripper! Physical, unforgiving – complete with speed and agility – and of course, that highly reliable long raking left boot, he is always composed and reliable with the ball in hand. Salem is also a natural tackler, he displays courage and leadership and knows how to finish on goal, yet has the tenacity and hunger to put his head over the ball and win it.

If you’re reading between the lines a SC beast is coming.

My young friend said Josh Kelly for Dom Tyson was a great deal for Melbourne on it’s own. He’d seen plenty of Tyson as a junior & said he much was better than Kelly. And after the stunning season Tyson had, who could argue.

They said it would take years to see who got the better of that deal. Well the contest is already over. Kelly will have a hell of a job matching Tyson, let along being better. He’d have to turn out better than GAJ for GWS to claim that as a win.

Finally there is hope at Melbourne. Put a couple of geniuses in the place & WHOOSKA! Mahoney’s ballsy trade may very well prove to be the crown jewel move in turning a basket case into a powerhouse. And believe me the foundations are in place.

James Frawley’s contract came up for renewal. Mahoney had a decision to make. Recontract him or exploit free agency rules & grab pick 3 (Angus Brayshaw GUN). All Frawley got from Mahoney was a post it note stating “don’t even think about coming back”.

Want an opportunity to see Hawthorns contract & match it. Nup, See ya James.

In a little over 12 months & without anyone realising Mahoney’s version of the Fab 5 was already complete. There was a little luck with St Kilda passing on Petrecca for McCartin.

That makes Tyson, Viney Petrecca, Brayshaw & Bullseye. Bullseye may well prove to be the best of the lot. There is only one word for that midfield in the not too distant future. Formidable! If Trengrove & Toumpas can come on it’s going to be Lethal. Simon Goodwin must be licking his lips about what he has in front of him. And soon a lot of Melbourne players will be SC relevant. When was the last time someone said that? Never would I suggest.

If only they had Nic Nat & Stefan Martin tapping the ball to them. Oh dear.

2015 Price: $185,000
2015 Position: FWD
Games last season: 12
Average last season: 34
100+ games last season: 0
Sub 80 games last season: 11
Price range last season: $167K – $215k
Missed games last season: 10
Significant history: Pick 9 2013 National Draft. Part of the Dom Tyson Pick 2 trade. 2013 TAC season Bullseye had an outstanding Abblettesque SC average of 145. Wow!

CLICK HERE FOR ALL OF OUR SUPERCOACH 2015 PLAYER PREVIEWS

Bullseye was nursed into the AFL system by Melbourne & had plenty of sub affected games in 2014, in fact half the games he played. So don’t read too much into the above mentioned numbers. What happened at last year at Melbourne was embarrassing. Clearly pre Rossy no one taught the Melbourne players defensive pressure or how to retain the pill. So Melbourne 2014 was a televised training drill & it sucked. We switched off as one very early. Certainly makes sense why the only people who realised how good Dom Tyson was were the umpires.

What Melboune have is a serious POD with Bullseye. A guy that is willing to take it upon himself & drag his team over the line. I’d suggest that will translate into some pretty good SC scoring in years to come.

Bullseye did give Demon fans a taste of his match winning ability in round 13. He came on as the sub & in the last minute of the game he found space & charged into the forward 50 & took a grab. He showed great composure & put the pill straight over the goal umpires hat & sunk the Bombers by a point.

With the exception of that game if you wanted to know what an audience watching a Melbourne 2014 game looked like cast your mind back to the famous role call classroom scene in Ferris Beulers day off…..Beuler……Beuler….Beuler…..Fry….Fry

If the only thing on telly was a Melbourne 2014 game I’d definitely pull an Elvis & shoot the Telly.

I insist that all footage, archives & any evidence of Melbourne’s 2014 season be placed into a room for a professional to deal with. Daniel Kerr is the man for the job. Burn baby burn.

Risk Factor

Bullseye is not the athlete Josh Kelly is. He doesn’t have a great AFL tank yet & hence his sub roles in plenty of games. Not a great size about him just yet. But not many are at that age. Certainly no quadzilla for size. His tank found him out & the rigors of an introduction to the AFL. But I have no doubt he will overcome that at some point sooner rather than later.

Selection Purpose

Cash cow, & possible future permanent fixture in your team in the not too distant future. I feel that with another preseason under his belt the vest will fall to one of Melbourne’s newer boys. And that will mean Bullseye will be completely unleashed. All he needs is big tank & he’s away. I can’t stop thinking of that 145 TAC av. And I certainly can’t help thinking about what my young friend had to say about him. If he can achieve half of 145 next year he’s a good pick. If he can start hitting Jesse Hogan lace out then you simply pick them both. If Hogan could choose 1 bloke sending the pill to him I guarantee its bullseye.

Apart from the incredible skill Bullseye has, my buddy said his best attribute was the ability to change games in his teams favor. And then win the game by himself!

The Good

  • Game changer
  • Match Winner
  • Elite Disposal
  • Pendles evasive skill

The Bad

  • Not a great tank yet
  • Body hasn’t filled out yet
  • Can go missing

Final Verdict

Dex & I love contested beasts that tackle & kick goals. And that’s exactly what Bullseye does.

When I had the conversation with my friend around Lamb Chop he shot him down in no uncertain terms. He diverted the conversation to Bullseye, there was Manlove there, He was much more of a fan of Bullseye than Josh Kelly. And now I understand why. Kelly had the tank was ready to run out a game in the AFL well ahead of Bullseye. And I suspect this is why he slid to 9. Give me a quick summary of him I asked: He’s a freak of nature talent. My friend was very complementary of Nathan Freeman & said he’s going to turn into a very good player. But he wasn’t in the same league as Bullseye. Bugger we missed him by 1 spot. We may rue not using pick 6 on him. But Scharenberg as a junior was one hell of a talent as well. And with Daisy & Heath Shaw gone he was a need.

It’s all about the tank for Bullseye. You can have a good one at Junior footy. But this is a whole new level. It was found out in 2014. And I would suspect he was playing a brand of footy he wasn’t used to!

If Bullseye can pick up the Mid/Fwd status I’m going to find it very difficult to knock him back. He is a goal kicking midfielder by nature.

As a Mid only I will look at it from this perspective. Bullseye & Freeman would have cost 330k+ last year. This year the same combo will come in at around 300k & with another preseason under the belt.

Either way an uninterrupted preseason & I’m signing up.

Top of the watchlist!

BULLSEYE!

Pieman

Twitter: @paulmaltman

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AFL Supercoach Legend Jock ReynoldsThis article has been penned by an elite Supercoach analyst hand picked from the talent pool of the Jock Reynolds Fantasy Footy Community. He has stood up within our community as a man of fantasy substance, and has displayed the spirit of togetherness, positivity and community that we value significantly.


94 Comments

Seaford Scouse · 16/12/2014 at 07:54

What a ripper of a review INP! I’ve been waiting for your Salem write-up ever since the lamb chop teaser…and boy you have drilled it home with aplomb!

After your sneak insight a couple of weeks ago I did a bit of digging myself and some of his junior stats are just incredible; apart from his amazing average he also likes a cuddle or 2 clocking up 10 in one game against the Stingrays and also has a very nice kick to handball ratio of around 2:1 at U18., nice!

Good call on Tyson as well another Demon under serious consideration as well, surely they can only improve as a team which means his SC stats should, as of course Hogan is.

Also good to gain some more insight from your tennis buddy on Freeman, shame we missed out on this kid but do you think if Eddie invited the Melbourne board to a Christmas barbie he’d be able to get a trade done selling them Mason Cox as Deans American cousin?

    Itchy Nuts Pieman · 16/12/2014 at 08:58

    Thanks Seaford. An opportunity to pick the brain of a bloke who played with & against the who's who of the last few drafts doesn't come around all that often. We love the blokes that kick more than handball hit targets. He rated Freeman more than Kelly. So I think we've still got a good one.

Seaford Scouse · 16/12/2014 at 08:14

You know it’s all about timing mate and you just seem to have it. AFL website has the Dees v Bombers game as they’re 12 games of Christmas game today including the Salem winner. What I thought was most interesting about that play was that Cross had Dawes out on his own to the right but picked Salem anyway, albeit straight in front of the sticks. Still it shows that the seniors have great faith in this guy. Ironically, Frawley looked to have played a blinder as well.

    Itchy Nuts Pieman · 16/12/2014 at 09:00

    Can't claim that one. I din't know the AFL site was showing that. If you could put the pill in Bullseye or Dawes hands to win the game it's a no contest for mine.

throttlefinger · 16/12/2014 at 08:34

Blistering Pieman! Simple brilliant. Jammed packed with SC goodness, from Salem to the rest of the Dees. Agree that he's nestled very high on Watchlist Mountain. Great info on Dom Tyson. Very big on him. Right now he's 95/5 for starting. As always you've crafted a hugely entertaining yet highly nutritious review. Bottom 4 team so you have to be careful who you bring aboard. Think you've created considerably less mystery. Well done, my friend.

    Itchy Nuts Pieman · 16/12/2014 at 09:04

    Your welcome Throts. Can't underestimate the additions of Pertrecca Brayshaw & Hogan to that team. 3 Guns. They won't be bottom 4 for long. I'm 95/5 on Tyson as well. If he keeps up the improvement a 110+ av is not beyond him for 2015.

      throttlefinger · 16/12/2014 at 09:14

      Given the news about the higher rook prices, will Petrecca and Brayshaw be worth the coin? They need to have a Dom T type season…which I can't image them having. Or is my head damp and were you just speaking of the dees as a team. Loooong day, INP.

        Itchy Nuts Pieman · 16/12/2014 at 09:23

        It's not a certainty that Rookie prices are going to go through the roof. But if the changes to DT are anything to go by there will be big change. Petrecca & Brayshaw absolute no no's. But Bullseye Freeman & Cripps firmly in the spotlight.

          throttlefinger · 16/12/2014 at 09:28

          Hope that don't fuss too much with the prices. Think they should be making things a bit more enticing for newcomers. Grow the game a bit. But yes, Freeman and Cripps are sitting highest on watchlist. Bullseye not far behind. Again, killer review. So nice had to read twice.

General Soreness · 16/12/2014 at 09:32

Brilliant write up as always INP. He has gone from not being anywhere near the watchlist to sitting alongside Freeman at the top. As you know I am pretty bullish about Freeman as a prospect which is not good as a Bombers man but is good for supercoach. The likes of Salem, Freeman, Markworth, Acres etc etc will be where the supercoach gold is to be mined if the rook prices go through the roof. Again mate, great work.

    Itchy Nuts Pieman · 16/12/2014 at 10:45

    I'm also bullish about Freeman. He's looking in terriffic condition. Just hope those Hammies hold up. He was braught in as a need for speed & not to be sitting in the crowd.

WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 09:50

Thanks Pieman put this article in your CV for when you apply for the job as a politicians Spin doctor.

Pure poetry with a depth of wisdom not seen since James Hird said "quick throw it all in the bowls club dumpster and move to Tullamarine".

Concentrate not on the fact that he was an absolute dud in a team that is the modern day definition of the word DUD. Instead Pump up the fact that he was good when he was larger than 50% of his opponents and when those kids never tackled or pressured him.

Ignore his AFL disposal efficiency which is lower than a hole within a hole and instead quote an under 16 coach who couldn't kick the bucket let alone a footy.

Worry not that for 2015 the D's have traded his tank in for a 100 years old rusted out corrugated job from Mungo station and instead celebrate that this tank is an improvement on the chicken wire basket he had last year.

Remember not that every 1st year player that opposed him embarrassed him every time he went near the ball in grownups footy instead prepare to blame the opposition for poor Christians continued failures.

    throttlefinger · 16/12/2014 at 10:13

    Hmmm. Bad night's sleep, Womby? Seem a bit off your usual game and testy about young Salem.

    Where are you getting this info? Seems more driven by perception than reality. Salem's disposal was 60.5%, which isn't that bad given his rook season. His big game vs Port he got 91 SC points with 2 goals, 4 contested possessions and 69% disposal efficiency. Pretty good against a fairly physical side.

    Look east my friend. I'll be sending some good vibes to put you in a better mood.

      WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 10:30

      Nah I'm just putting up a bit of diversity it's not a voice of dissent.
      Statistics prove that 99% of statistics can be interpreted or manipulated to contradict themselves.
      Knowledge and wisdom doesn't come from agreeing with the masses and following the trodden path.

      The extra info that you just posted validates my approach.

        throttlefinger · 16/12/2014 at 10:32

        Completely agree. Just throwing a counter-counterpoint to your counterpoint.

          throttlefinger · 16/12/2014 at 10:33

          And yes, in a smartassy way.

          WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 10:40

          That said I am more than a little angry today at the events in Sydney over the past 24-hours.

            throttlefinger · 16/12/2014 at 10:44

            I bet you are. As you'd expect, I find those sort of acts truly despicable.

        General Soreness · 16/12/2014 at 10:49

        Statistics prove that 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't Happy. That said 83% of statistics are made up on the spot.

          WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 10:54

          hahahahaha

          @TG_Footy_Tragic · 16/12/2014 at 12:29

          General… That made my day!

          Dools · 16/12/2014 at 17:26

          !00 % of the seven dwarfs went to bed felling "Happy" read into that what you will.

            WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 18:39

            Hmm said with the confidence of a voyeur or participant.
            How tall are you Dools?

              Dools · 16/12/2014 at 19:37

              Wombats , mate you are either a participant or a witness in this era.
              I 'm a Norse (Insert Blond, full Head of hair), 6' 3" (188cm). Age: 46 (Born in March) I weigh 89 Kgs, (PS I have deep blue eyes). My BMI is 25.7. Nationality: Irish; my IQ is in the 160 's depending on the beer sometimes I hit the 175's . Religion: Shieke (Just kiddin'). I like long walks on the beach, with a beer in me hand and a refill just ahead. I run 5 Kms in just over 22 minutes and when I walk the same distance in the same time but only on a pub crawl. I'm not on Twitter or Tinder but I value: honesty and integrity regardless of your background. I'm not a moral person but I have my mores… Could I fit in your den maybe not. But would I try… Maybe not. So fire away mate this is Australia.

                WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 19:49

                ……………lost for words………..

                Maybe I'm not nuts

                  Dools · 16/12/2014 at 19:58

                  Wombats …….your not a drinker r u mate? LOL
                  Welcome to my 'Stralia.
                  Hey every one Wombats is ………..Not nuts…Nice projection of guilt mate. LOL

                    WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 20:53

                    Dools, mate! What you are is irrelevant. It's who you are that matters.

                    I'm an arsehole. so what heaps of people are.
                    I'm an arsehole who saved an orphan duck.
                    I saved an orphan duck and i have an arsehole

                    Dools · 16/12/2014 at 21:04

                    I''m just a regular Joe with a regular job
                    I'm your average white suburbanite slob
                    I like football and porno and books about war

                    I've got an average house with a nice hardwood floor
                    My wife and my job, my kids and my car
                    My feet on my table and a Cuban cigar

                    But sometimes that just ain't enough
                    To keep a man like me interested
                    (Oh no)
                    No way
                    (Uh-uh)

                    No, I've gotta go out and have fun
                    At someone else's expense
                    (Oh yeah)
                    Im a wombat just like you

                    WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 21:34

                    Wow. Outstandingly eloquent but you have me wrong.

                    I'm not a regular Joe and I've never had a regular job.
                    I'm not average, I'm not white and I'm not a slob.
                    I do like footy and I love girls who like porn but i believe reverence of war deserves nothing but scorn.
                    I don't have a house with any type of floor. My ex-wife has my kids, my car and my balls.
                    I've been a St Kilda Garbo and a New York exec and a heart broken lover with a rope round his neck.
                    I've made and lost buckets of cash but I don't give a stuff, cos I'm free in Australia and for me that's enough.

                    Dools · 16/12/2014 at 21:51

                    Dear Wombats, tochee ( I can also do this left handed)
                    I wished I'd looked before I leaped
                    I didn't know it was so deep
                    Been down so far I don't get wet
                    Haven't touched the bottom yet
                    This river scene is gettin' old
                    I'm hungry, sleepy, wet and cold
                    She told me to forget it nice
                    I should have taken hr advice
                    I only want to go on home
                    I'd gladly leave that girl alone
                    What a way to spend the night
                    If I don't drown, I'll die of fright
                    My pappy taught me how to float
                    But I can't swim a single note
                    He threw me in to teach me how
                    I stayed there floatin' like a mama cow
                    And now I've floated way downstream
                    I know this has to be a dream
                    If I could find my way to shore
                    I'd never, never do this anymore
                    I'll give you three, I've been down nine
                    I'm goin' down just one more time.
                    Goin' down. Goin' down. I'm goin' to drown

                    WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 22:10

                    I genuinely hope that you're not experiencing that pain right now?

                    I've got a saab aero and can be there faster than Eddie Betts

                    WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 22:46

                    I've been a flower sniffing, knowledge loving, public irritating, authority questioning birdwatcher since birth.
                    Fortunately I was physically imposing and competent enough to survive my adolescence and astute enough to prosper in my early adulthood.
                    I accept my weaknesses and I understand the weaknesses of those who disappoint or anger me.
                    I reckon that absolutely everybody has something about them that is lovable and every woman that I've met had something that made me want to sleep with her.

                    Yet I am angered to the point of militant action by the knowledge that cane toads can be pushed back to the western slopes of the great divide for half of the cost of hosting the recent G20 conference but nothing is being done.

                    WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 22:54

                    A fair bit of that was crap.
                    I will gladly eliminate anybody who harms a child and I'll risk my life to prevent arseholes from exploiting the masses.
                    apart from that I can be stared down by a butterfly.
                    Viojo rainbow is a lock for Wombats

    Itchy Nuts Pieman · 16/12/2014 at 10:42

    What side of the hole did you get out of today wombats. Your a savage Bas*ard & I luv ya for it. Hope he proves ya wrong. I'm doing a piece for you & Dools on Viojo Rainbow next. Can't wait for you to tear it apart.

      WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 10:46

      😉 How horrible would the footy be without opposition supporters?

WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 10:25

To, Pieman, Throttle, Dexter, General, Maso, Chicko, Big Ben, Losty, et al.

I love ya's all and sincerely thank you for the wealth of information that you are providing part-time humans and wanna be SuperCoaches like myself.

I admire your diligence and efforts in repeatedly producing entertaining and insightful articles most of which render me smarter from a SC perspective.
With each new player review you display the optimism of a new mother gazing on her child for the first time. "look at that he can kick", "see how strong he is when he holds my finger", "he crawled all the way across the floor and back without stopping", "he was walking 5-days earlier than Usain Bolt bring on the Olympics"

I now refer to your collective as "The Cloudmakers" and, I thank you for descending over the round 1 SC hills to provide the cover that an aged stubby legged marsupial needs to get a good start on the pack.
🙂

    throttlefinger · 16/12/2014 at 10:43

    With the lyrical prowess and insightful humor of your idol Bon Scott, you have penned quite a kickass thank you, Womby. It's passionate community members like yourself that keep me on my toes and push me to dig harder to find that extra insights to help make the upcoming season a little easier to plan for. Sure it's same for the rest of the boys.

    Appreciate the very thoughtful note, Wombats.

      WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 10:51

      The gratitude is genuine. The vitriol is genetic.

        throttlefinger · 16/12/2014 at 11:01

        Hahaha. Again, channeling the Bon man today.

          General Soreness · 16/12/2014 at 15:23

          Agreed sounded like it could be the verse from a song.

        General Soreness · 16/12/2014 at 15:21

        The best thing is, both are welcomed.

      General Soreness · 16/12/2014 at 10:55

      Exactly throtts, appreciate the kind words Womby. It is definitely the feedback from the likes of yourself in this community that drives, without it the articles are meaningless. Thanks for the comments, critiques, observations and sometimes spirited discussion you keep bringing to the community, highly valued by all.

    @TG_Footy_Tragic · 16/12/2014 at 12:32

    Cheers Wombats!
    It's a humbling experience, researching and writing these articles – but something that I love doing.
    Thank you for the loquacious acknowledgement of our efforts.

    MASO · 16/12/2014 at 16:38

    Thanks for the kind words Wombat 🙂

    WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 16:45

    I was sure I put a backhander in there somewhere with the clouds.

      General Soreness · 16/12/2014 at 23:42

      There was but as you pointed out we only see the sunshine

    lostlarrikin · 16/12/2014 at 18:28

    ha, lovin ur mirth-veiled thankyou's
    Almost as classic as ur wrong-side-of-the-hole counterpunches
    cheers

      Itchy Nuts Pieman · 16/12/2014 at 18:49

      You almost got there with a heart felt thanks! But slipped in an uppercut in true Wombat style. Most offended by the James Hird comparison earlier. Who deserves that! He's got nothing on my dribble talking ability. He rely's on his wife. I got rid of mine. A bagger to a Pie & vice versa there are no boundaries & there never will be. And if there was we'd be bored shitless. Your absolutely right. Keep up the geriatric banter & burrow as no other marsupial can.

        WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 19:06

        No offense intended Pieman. In fact it was the total opposite.
        I rate the decision to destroy the evidence and move to a different location as the wisest decision in the history of the Essendon Football club.
        I was seriously rating your recommendation of Salem as equal in wiseness to the age old strategy of "dump it and run". A strategy that has proved successful more often than not and is still employed by mother kangaroos when threatened by a dingo pack.

        Seeing as you're a pies supporter and all would you like me to draw a picture?

          Itchy Nuts Pieman · 16/12/2014 at 19:31

          Please do send a pic wombats. Visually interpreted images are often appreciated with captions to understand how things work. Leave Dex out of this (he's our go to man & your not), your fight is with me HA!

            WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 19:38

            I said draw mate. I'm phuking 50 and only just found out today that I can reply directly from my email!
            The IT teachers at Barwon at crap, but your dad would have already told you that.

            No way is Dexter a pies supporter. He knows how to add up

      WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 18:50

      Yep I'm nuts and got a certificate to prove it.
      I'm using this place like a diary but the purpose of the community delivers a second benefit.
      Analysing data according to varying parameters and factoring environmental influence to achieve a higher SC score certainly helps with the obsessive elements of craziness. Doesn't it Dexter?

Kev · 16/12/2014 at 12:14

The talent might be there but I need to see more before I go throwing the L word around. I can see Womby's point, stats can be used positively to tell almost anything, while the stats ignored can be off-putting. Ignoring his sub-affected games last year he returned a possession count of 8, 16, 7, 8, 7, 7 from an average 73% game time. Hardly arousal producing numbers.

These articles will be a great reference point once the season kicks off and the casual SC players return with the "thoughts on x-player" questions. If Jock has taught me one thing in this caper it is this: do your own bloody research!

Wonderful review INP, another one of my watchlist that wouldn't have got a look in

    Itchy Nuts Pieman · 16/12/2014 at 12:50

    Kev most people will look at his numbers & put a line through him. That's what makes this great. If you read the reviews on the games he wasn't sub the words "got tired" were all too familiar. If he improves that he's value.

@TG_Footy_Tragic · 16/12/2014 at 12:34

Bloody Belter of a piece Pieman!
I've had Salem high on my watchlist for most of the preseason – with the hope he can expand his tank and shirk the vest.
I love this community.

    Itchy Nuts Pieman · 16/12/2014 at 12:51

    Thanks Dex. Just the sort of player we love. Priced to average 30 he's got to be considered if the tank improves.

Stefan Martin · 16/12/2014 at 13:14

Anyone who rates Stefan Martin has never actually seen him play. As a SC scorer, he's ace. As an AFL player, he is the worst there is.

    General Soreness · 16/12/2014 at 15:20

    Don't beat yourself up, Stefan you have come to the right place, SC scoring is number one priority in this community the rest is open for interpretation.

    Itchy Nuts Pieman · 16/12/2014 at 15:27

    The boys at champion data didn’t think you were too bad. If you think your going to turn the corner at some point let me know so I can put you in my team again.

    WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 16:38

    Who's telling you that Stef?
    If it's that dork DunnyMuncher (Loo-an-burger) ask him to compare last years stats.

    If it's the same voice that told you kill all those kittens so that you could paint your dads car red when you were little, maybe a few sessions with the General will get you back on track for round 1.

    jockreynolds · 16/12/2014 at 20:51

    Might be the name Stefan. Can't help but think of the bloke who played Paul of Neighbours and that bloody song he release – break down the walls.

      Chicko · 17/12/2014 at 03:09

      Aha Jock, bloody Stefan Dennis!

Tman · 16/12/2014 at 16:07

Super review INP. Bullseye firmly in the calculation for my team. Need not say more.

A silly questions if I may, unrelated as it maybe to the review,

Can I donate to JR community via Google Play? Cant seem to find a donation link I saw previously and kinda stuck with the virtual money for the time being.

    Tman · 16/12/2014 at 16:18

    Never mind kind people. I have stumbled upon the answer to my sillyness.

      Dools · 16/12/2014 at 17:18

      G'day Tman,
      No silliness here LOL …It's a very serious site mate. Welcome to the community !

MASO · 16/12/2014 at 16:44

Great job , he is on ''The List'' which im not looking forward to the day when i have to cut "The List" down to 30 !!

    Dools · 16/12/2014 at 17:23

    Agreed MASO,
    Whittling down the choices will be epic! But at least for most it will be informed choices thanks to these effort's on the site. Best part is if we get it wrong we can hold our heads up high and say "mea culpa" I made that choice!

Dools · 16/12/2014 at 16:45

Mate what an entertaining article from 1st to last paragraph full stop.
I have to admit I was super keen on this young fella after reading this at 0530h this morning, Then I drove to work mulling over by mantra "Is he a possible, Is he ready?" Got to me desk and and turned on , tuned in again to re-read your article …Sold , I was sold.
Then I waited for something to do so I cranked up old Keyboard and Next G device Did some research on the numbers and the why etc etc . Conclusion – For a guy in his 2nd year to be priced at 30 SC points P/G ($170K) I smell Coin. Never mind the 25, 25, 46 and 38 from R 6 to 9 , Then I thanked the Gods I did not pick him in 2014 as a starter but A 2nd year player AVG to 30 got the trousers bulging (Which was uncomfortable, I was sitting down) He is priced… just right (Thank you Captain Barbossa) ,
Then after a few hours I got back on this site and read Wombats !st comment – Harsh but Fair! So recalculation time for me.
So I "dug" around some more trying to unearth anything of value – Would the Chicken " Chested "one get the vest or be vested? Hmmmmmmm……. I do not know but again price for a lower end 2nd year player I think I 'm hooked now it remains to be seen, Does "X" mark the spot on me SC treasure map!
Can I throw the bait outa me mouth before I' land myself in the same category as quite a few who picked him and walked the plank!
Thanks for the brain tease, well bloody done INP, well bloody done.
"To the fridge!!" – Mud in your eye! my one eyed , pirate friend! Much to ponder , much to ponder. Leaning 80/20 Yes!
PS I got bugger all done at work because of this – Win Win

    Itchy Nuts Pieman · 16/12/2014 at 17:31

    Apologies to your boss Dools. There is a reason Bullseye may become more relevant. Yesterday the AFL website released the pricing for St Kilda's DT players. I saw McCartin's price at 303k. I thought hmmm how much was Tom Body last year…194K in DT & 239K in SC. The General noticed Hugh Goddards DT price was 236K odd. Massive increase from last year, massive. If that flows through to SC then guys like Bullseye, Freeman, Cripps & Acres become supremely relevant. This is assuming they dont have their pricing tampered with. Don't start trying to plan a team. It's very possible pricing may flaw us all. Player research will do & many trips to the fridge! As you asked for Viojo Rainbow gets a run next week my friend. Glad to be of service.

      Dools · 16/12/2014 at 18:17

      I' always keep an open mind INP except for Greg "Bloody" Boughton!!! . 2014 rookies and a few 2015 wookies for me at the moment as the starting price does not reflect their SC scoring ability depending on Draft pick . Also seriously looking at some old and bold warriors except Garrrryyyy ATM. but I will keep you in the loop over Chrissy.
      Interesting Fact: Stefan was the only Brisbane Ruc to appreciate in value consistently over the entire season, he never dropped in price from $242K to $556K! now that's statistics. Look him up community. The Stats did not lie but they did not reflect the entire season!!! LOL .
      "DISCLAIMER" Statistically this is a correct statement I say "to the fridge!!" most of the time, This statement is correct 100% of the time.
      I'm in a time loop – read it again lol

      lostlarrikin · 16/12/2014 at 18:38

      Spot on INP and monster piece btw (one of ur finest).
      I would be definitely entertaining him if SC pricing ends up akin to AFL fantasy.
      If that plays out im sitting at 70/30.

      WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 19:22

      Pieman I think I know you. The only Pies supporter with your level of marketing nous is Eddie Macguire.
      You can't help yourself, you put up an entertaining review that identifies a genuine prospect but, you don't deliver the gold that puts him in the 'Schidt yeah" category until I read ALL the comments.
      Lose some weight bro you're to old to be that fat.

        Itchy Nuts Pieman · 16/12/2014 at 20:10

        No longer a fat bastard Wombats! Just recovered from a hammy, bugger injuries. I'm teaching my kids to be good tennis players. I certainly was one. Does a wombat have injuries? At that lazy pace, surely not. Not required. Only doing about 15 k's a day of fitness training, have been for a while (when able). In an hour of high speed interval training I only sprint 23 minutes. How are you travelling you lazy prick?

WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 18:36

Hi Pieman I forgot to mention that your stuff is brilliantly funny and I reckon Jock should have a process & research freak like Dex put together a compilation of the best humorous paragraphs from yourself and the other clowns.

    WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 18:38

    That was meant to be complimentary but it reads like a pitiful attempt to be sarcastic.

      Dools · 16/12/2014 at 18:47

      Wombats you legend, Do not change mate!!! Please! I like The Cranky Marsupial and the Jiminy Cricket job you do for the rest of us.
      Respect bro, but this reads like a pitiful attempt to be sarcastic. That was meant to be complimentary Wombats. I'm shutting up now.

      lostlarrikin · 16/12/2014 at 18:55

      noice, I take clown as a compliment (its on my CV)

      jockreynolds · 16/12/2014 at 20:49

      It has been a corker of a ride He Who Eats Roots and Leaves. (could be a comma in there somewhere.) Have had more that a few genuine spit the beer on the keyboard laughs over the last few months. Feel humbled to have such a quality mob around the joint, yourself included

        WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 21:04

        No joke mate that landed in the inbox at exactly the same time as a big clap of thunder!

          WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 21:04

          No wait I farted.

            throttlefinger · 16/12/2014 at 21:30

            Hilarious exchanges! Waking with bellylaughs has got to be the equivalent of a morning 15K (at least that's how it will be counted as this morning).

              WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 21:41

              Hi throttle. Yeah I succumbed to the doctors and started the happy pills.
              Started yesterday

                throttlefinger · 16/12/2014 at 21:48

                Well, you're usually good for a good laugh or 12 without the pills. In fact, Jocko should get an intern to collect your and Dools best bits from the last year or so. Some truly classics lines have poured from both of you.

                And I'm guessing the happy pills isn't the same you took during your NYC days? Believe they came in a powder form.

                  WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 22:03

                  Nah mate the New York Maggies were 100% organic back then

                    throttlefinger · 16/12/2014 at 22:21

                    Yes. Only the finest the East Village could offer.

                    WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 22:23

                    I did only play one game. I thought it better than spending 1.1mil on a defense

          jockreynolds · 16/12/2014 at 22:02

          Always get a bit nervous when the words in, box and clap are included in the one sentence. Bloody miss Narelle.

            WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 22:06

            I promise ya mate you don't want her back.
            I saw her climbing out of the back of Scouses car at Bonbeach on the weekend

              jockreynolds · 16/12/2014 at 22:15

              Nah mate – she installs second hand car sound systems. Was changing his woofers.

                WombatsFC · 16/12/2014 at 22:19

                Does a bit of mechanical work to apparently.
                Scouse said she drained his nuts?

            Dools · 16/12/2014 at 22:14

            That is one of the best Jock me ol' China…Box and Clap
            Who the man now Narelle?

    Itchy Nuts Pieman · 16/12/2014 at 19:11

    If you become a nice bloke Wombats I won't speak to you again! You are the Monty Burns of this site. If you try to be good you still a prick. You do make a good point, a compilation of the best quotes/paragraphs. There has been some crackers from the boys. I'm sure Jock & the boys could make a poscast out of them & take them further!

Mike · 11/02/2015 at 09:46

I'll never forget this guy getting 5 SC points for a whole game last year. He was up to 14 after about 5 minutes, got penalised for something and spent the entire rest of the game running away from the football like it had ebola.
Salem is like that really hot girl you are alone with the night you forgot protection. Soo tempting, soo much to lose.

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