Supercoach 2015 – Jeff Garlett

Published by General Soreness on

Often referred to by the obscure nickname of “Jeffy” I have always preferred to refer to him as “Seagull” for his readiness to avoid all contact and run around the outside of packs looking for easy chips, ah, I mean kicks.

General SorenessOriginally rookie listed by Carlton in 2009, Seagull was a promoted rookie in the 2010 National Draft with Pick 85. Since round 4 of 2010 until the end of 2013 he has only missed 2 games both in 2013 with a glute.

2014 was a forgettable one for Seagull, who fell out of favour with the coach, got into a punch on at a Melbourne night club resulting in him being knocked out, charged and is now defending those charges. He was first omitted from the senior side in round 4 before earning a round 6 recall. Then again being omitted and failing to return for the rest of the season in round 13. He was a sub in three games, two as starting sub one subbed out. At the end of it all he had played 9 games for a paltry 48SC average.

Not staggering Pick Me, Pick Me numbers by any ones standards and aside from his first year, the Seagull has not been supercoach relevant……until now, and before you start howling me down, I will join you in doing that later, here are some more stats.

2015 Price: $259,200
2015 Position: FWD
Games last season: 9
Average last season: 48.2
100+ games last season: 1 (102 round 6)
Sub 80 games last season: 8 (next best was 68 which he achieved twice)
Price range last season: $233K – $421K
Missed games last season: 0 (was available but omitted)
Significant history: 2010 Round 19 AFL Rising Star Nominee
SC averages of 78.2 (2013), 73.1 (2012), 72.9 (2011) and 71.6 (2010)


I can hear you asking how these stats make him supercoach relevant this year. Well its simple, he is a stepping stone guy priced at an average of 48.2 who is a consistent 70+ scorer. If he starts pushing out a few 70+ scores he will be over $400K relatively quickly giving you an almost certain $140K+ in the skyrocket for upgrades.

Now whilst this together with the fact he has only missed two games through injury in his career make him supercoach relevant but definitely not a certainty selection. $140K is not near enough to get our supercoach cash cow juices flowing. There will be forward rookies available at much lower prices that will deliver more of a return than $140K, providing you pick the right one/s.

However it is worth noting that 2013 the Seagull was quick out of the box charting a path to SC hundreds. In his first 10 games he knocked out 6 hundreds including a 131 and a career high 135 to average 87.75 at the bye in round 12 which includes a 28 and 48 in rounds 11 and 12. Up to the end of round 10 he averaged a whopping 100.5 SC points and as a F6 this would be a nice number for a year end average.

A change of home and a bit of faith from the new coach may just see him recapture his form and at 25 years he should be at the peak of his powers. Couple this with the fact that there is little competition for small forwards at Melbourne makes him a little more attractive.

There is talk about the Seagull getting more midfield time. I think that can largely be ignored as fanciful given there are no easy chips in the midfield. Couple that with the fact he could not weigh more than 75kg whilst wearing a wet woollen jumpsuit, diving boots and holding dumbbells any midfield time would be short lived in my opinion.


Sub risk, inconsistency both enough to cause supercoach nightmares.


Low end mid pricer cost with a known output average likely to generate at least $140K. Use as a cash cow with a chance he may go and pump out a start to the season like 2013.


  • Durable (You can’t stop a seagull) – only missed 2 games in his career through injury
  • Likely to play without any small pacey forward competition at Melbourne.
  • Known supercoach average output


  • Inconsistent
  • You wont hold him all year therefore durability is less of an issue
  • Vest candidate


I have a few self imposed rules including the “No Dickheads” policy. The Seagull falls fowl (poor and inaccurate pun) of this rule and hence could never find himself a spot in my lineup. I also like to sleep and his inconsistency will provide supercoach nightmares for those willing to take more risks than Bear Grylls in the desert with a snake skin full of his own pee. However for those looking for a certain cash cow without the reduced risk of him being dropped round 2 or 3, then the Seagull may just may fit the bill (oh dear – stop me). Those of you that do pick him, make sure you head down to Bunnings and buy a wheelbarrow to carry your plums/guts.


What’s your call on Seagull Garlett in 2015?

General Soreness

Twitter: @GenSorenessSC


AFL Supercoach Legend Jock ReynoldsThis article has been penned by an elite Supercoach analyst hand picked from the talent pool of the Jock Reynolds Fantasy Footy Community. He has stood up within our community as a man of fantasy substance, and has displayed the spirit of togetherness, positivity and community that we value significantly.

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The "Seagull". That is probably one of the most awesomest footy nicknames I've heard, General. Seemingly harmless yet a razor-sharp putdown. Brilliant.

Gotta be honest. Saw your name and "Jeff Garlett" and thought it was like a 100-year old with a 22-year old supermodel. Seagull is one of the few I don't give a rat's ass about in both watching and SC. Just annoying. YET your article made a convincing case for considering the water rat with wings. Much like Higgins, he could give a fast track to cash generation/upgrade…although Burnggins was a DPP so offered a little more.

Can't say that I'll have him in my team. But if F6 doesn't look like it can be filled with an steady-playing rooks, SeaRat may get the call. Bang up job as always, General!

Itchy Nuts Pieman

Ball tearer of a piece General. You were talking us into into it. Then a wet fish slap across the face to say HELL NO. Seagull analogy is perfection. At lease someone made contact with him. Allbeit after hours. Similarities to missy Higgins yes but a different type of player. Never really looked at him as a SC player. But the underpricing can’t be ignired. 10/90 for mine. Awesome job again general.


He'd need to be $130k (ie rookie priced) for me to consider him. Hell to the NO!!!


Hilarious. And so true. Shitgull.


Brilliant analogies General, and smashing article to boot!

I agree with everyone here, HELL NO! I'd put 3 Higgins' in my team before Seagull Garlett!

Crap player in a crappier team. Carlton got rid of him, and they love recycled waste – That tells you something!


Countdown to Wombats fiery reply…5…4…3…2…


Hi General, I humbly request that you withdraw the seagull tag from Jeff.

Jgar does not suffer from courage deficiency as your nickname suggests.
As a Juniour he travelled to South Africa with a national team and one night he and two teammates were mugged, the two teammates immediately fled and left Jeff on his own against 2 african youths. Jgar dropped them both and walked away from the scene.
On returning to Australia he spent years living in old car bodies and under bridges eating only two meals p/week which were supplied by the football club he played for. He had no family support, no job, no government support and as a homeless Aboriginal Australian youth very few life prospects . He was obviously malnourished and most probably also deeply depressed.
The fact that he actually got to an AFL club at all is testament to the enormous courage of the man.

I believe that Jgar started going backwards (from a football perspective) when he became a father for the first time. Becoming a father can have significant psychological impacts on a person with Jgars life history and lack of family.

Hopefully Paul Roos can rekindle Jgars fire and the folks at Melbourne can make him comfortable because if they do he could be every bit as good as Jeff Farmer.

Anything under $250k is interesting to me cos I reckon he might get a run along the wing early on.


I agree 100% that the title 'Seagull' belongs to the fwd line position/role and that there are least 18 of the annoying buggas in the comp at moment.

Itchy Nuts Pieman

That’s one hell of a defence you’ve launched wombats. Wish you were my divorce lawyer. That’s made me put the indicator do a u turn & put him on the watch list. Maybe this could be the change he needs to put some fire in the belly. Fascinating insight wombats. That’s one hell of a journey. Full credit to the young fella to make it this far.


Haha not a good idea itchy. I came out of my own divorce with a suitcase full of clothes and that's it. She got Coogee 2bdrm apartment, 1 new Saab (I had to sell mine) and a very healthy bank account plus she still gets 20% of my pretax salary for child support. I now live in a high rise rental whilst she has a lovely Townhouse in Nth Balwyn.
Expert advice NEVER marry a wealthy woman.


Expert advice, never partner a poor woman either….Them not poor for long!
I will let you all figure out whom the good ones are!

Itchy Nuts Pieman

I didn't marry a wealthy woman Wombats. I was just lucky enough to make her one. Why the hell did she have to have the best friend that she did! Nth Balwyn, that's a nice gig. Child support…Dont you just smile when you make those payments. There is only one clear message here. In Tinder we trust!


Lucky my first one was short and a didn't result in kids. Have many friends who have came out on the wrong end like you. To lessons learned and new beginnings, my friend.


Fantastic response, Wombats.

Think no one is doubting his toughness. Anyone who plays a professional combat sport deserves respect. And his road to the AFL probably deserves more than most.

Still around 30/70 for bringing him in. As you say, want to keep F6 to under $250K. If in a pinch, may consider.


General, a magnificent body of work you have produced today fella. I tip my hat to you good Sir. You tease, you taunt, you look for angles and then you go bang – no way! I’m torn on Jeffrey, if he is priced around $200k then it might be enough to swing me his way as a F6 – as we all love a bit of value and to free up some cash to spend elsewhere. You have convinced me to watch his pre-season and see how he goes – even though you are saying no. I was saying no before your article and I will still most likely say no! Well done tiger!


This is not an article. This – is a piece.

A piece.

It took me on a bloody journey. From the cold and the hard to the warm – the tepid. The firgid. And just when my mind was made up on The Gull – WHACK. Enter Wombats.

A portal into Jeff's heart and soul and journey had up until the point where my eyes danced over Wombats response had not been made available to me.

And at the end of the journey – at the end of this piece – I don't know how I feel about the kid.

I believe the nickname Gullet might be appropriate. It must be recognised that ON FIELD this bloke carries himself like Sandra Sullly. But clearly OFF FIELD he has demonstrated the capacity to overcome the odds and adversity. The SeaGull needs to downgrade to a semi Seagull – or Gullet. Jeff Gullet.

Now – fantasy wise – like Pieman – I was warm to him and feeling happy about his prospects. Then the cold fish in the gob towards the end kicked in… but then Wombats came along with and ice pack and made me feel the bloke has some plums hidden in those baggy bloody shorts.

At the end of the day – I'm with Wombats. I will not write him off and I may just back this kid in.

Itchy Nuts Pieman

Boys since reading wombats stunning defence I’ll be having a closer look. That should be a documented story. It’s an incredible journey. I’d rather read that story that some hack journo make up a story about how the pies can make the top 4 next season. Not likely!


That was an Epic General. EPIC
I loved the comparison to a Seagull and I had thoughts from "Finding Nemo" with him crying "Mine!, Mine!"
but of course they may want it, but never got it.
What I like about him, his role was to rove at the outskirts of the packs and get the crumb….Unfortunately Carlton's Mids were not up to the task of securing and providing the pill for "The Seagull" to use.
Then Wombats chimed in (with a brilliant piece of anticipation from TF) with a life bio on the fella and I warmed to him again because it was relevant..
Any man who overcomes his background and achieves his dream is a Man. The break from The Blue Baggers is most likely seen by most as just another trade.
Hmm I do not see this as just another trade I think Roo's see's this as the tonic to aid his mid/ forward line to enable his team to create a more attacking side…. This is the SC Gold I look for.
He is not a lock but he is very high on my RADAR now!
Loved the piece General, loved the replies and the humour.
As to the mans name well "Seagull" is just fine , I think I will stick with Jeff (Until I pick him and then he repeats lasts years performance then he will be "Dead To Me" Just like "She who will not be named"
30/70 No …Not Hell No!
Fridays got to love 'em "To the fridge!!"

Itchy Nuts Pieman

I’m sure since wombats chimed in the fridge will be working overtime tonight. Hell not that it wouldn’t be on a Friday night anyway. Wombats hibernation is officially over. Stunning insight & instantly changed my view. The fridge & the esky will be busy tonight my friend. It’s awesome when these pieces can give one one thought only for it to be turned on it’s head. That’s what it’s all about. Brilliant minds in this community. I had a business meeting with the general today. Very little business was discussed. He’s a lovely fella & I hope we are mates forever. Can’t wait to meet you as well Dools & many others in this awesome place.


6 trips to the fridge since 3 pm INP (well its warm here in the Point) Watching the Cricket .Enjoying the electronic camaraderie and the need to meet with all contributors to the Community.
So I invite you down to my home (If your not Catching up with children or you have a busy Tinder weekend planned???)
Ask Jock for my email address and then we can organise a catch up. Looking forward to your posts and of course sharing in a couple of cold ones over a BBQ.

Barwick's Soilders

Very, Very interesting General. Today I went to work, whilst at work I was thinking about supercoach(Not Jeff Garlett) I came home did some research not on Jeff Garlett, Hoped on this site and now I can’t stop thinking about Jeff Garlett, From no chance in hell of being considered to beng high on watch list.

Itchy Nuts Pieman

We must be heading towards 50 players analysed now Barwick. Many I’ve looked at the title & gone nup. Then read the article & gone yep. It’s priceless info.


Great write up…. I love these ones, really close to a 50/50, the type that are so close that a single comment from a single person can be enough to swing you one way or another.
The main thing he has against him is that there's plenty of value in the forward line, in my opinion, in 2015….This will probably be the reason I overlook him, if he was a DEF id be all over him.
If, a big if, he avoids the vest he should average 70+. He kicks goals and tackles so doesn't need a lot of ball to score 70's.
Another factor that shouldn't be overlooked is the fact the Sydney became known as the masters of getting the best out of recycled players whilst Paul Roos was at the helm.


I'm considering him, for his price alone mostly, but then i'm having flashbacks to Gary Rohan and the nightmares he put me through this year and I start quietly sobbing into my pillow while my girlfriend pats me gently on the shoulder and whispers "there there, Gary Rohan isn't in your Supercoach side anymore, it'll all be OK".



Sorry….Sorry, I lost my cool for a moment there. We must not blame others for our own mistakes… But bloody hell, Gary freaking Rohan! He scored bloody -2 for a game for crying out loud.


Yes, we all remember. Deep breaths, Barron. Deep breaths.

Think it's safe to say the Burnman torch n the forward line has been passed from Higgins to Rohan.




Thanks General soreness, I think you might have identified a diamond in the rough for 2015. You are spot on about the D's not having a small forward and Garlett has shown that he can go 130+ in the small forward role.

I know that he has at least one 135 score at the MCG what were his MCG scores like before last year? I'm curious if the extra space makes him score higher.