Beam Brighter Than Beams?
Why is Steele Sidebottom always smiling? Anytime the camera zooms in, a jackal-like grin is plastered on his face.
A friend said to me that he looks like the test tube baby of The Joker and Jerry Seinfeld. That toothy, maniacal smile. Flashing wide and big, like nothing is bothering him. But oh, that smile BOTHERS me. And relatedly, am I the only person who wonders what the Sidebottom family crest looks like?
Don’t get me wrong, despite his unnerving simper, I like The Sidebummer. One of the reasons he smiled more this season was probably due to his performance. The man absolutely crushed it on the field. And a career best SuperCoach year to boot.
Whaddya say we pile in the clown car and take a road trip to Data City for a couple laughs at Sidebottom’s Tickle Emporium.
|Games last season:||19 (3-game MRP for high elbow)|
|Average last season:||113.2 (10th highest in SC)|
|100+ games last season:||14|
|Sub 80 games last season:||3 (72, 68,73)|
|Price range last season:||$524K(R5) – $603K(R9) SD: 29|
|Missed games last season:||N/A|
|Significant history:||Excluding the MRP elbow drop, only miss 2 games since 2010
Ranked 2nd kicks in game this season
Dislikes sitting: 88% TOG
Rumour: blocks out Tuesdays for Taiwanese pedicures
Not too shabby, right? The Sidebummer also went 30+ disposals six times. And as listed above, the boy loves to kick. In the highest disposal game (36), 27 of them were kicks! 27 of 36 disposals were kicks, I repeat. That is deep-fried, deep-dish SC-liciousness!* (*patent pending)
But if you want your arousal curve to go Mt. Everest, check out his best game of 2014 against rival Carlton Round 14. A career SC high 178! 33 disposals, 6 marks, 2 goals (last one to seal the game), 9 tackles, 7 clearances, 5 stoppages and a 90.9% disposal effectiveness.
Get him in, right? Well, all this sounds great, of course, but as The Wolf said, “Let’s not start sucking each other’s… ” Well, you know the rest of that Pulp Fiction quote.
After a career year and Beams gone I’m fairly sure the tag light will shine brighter on The Sidebummer. Adding Levi Greenwood certainly helps shore the gap but let’s not bullshit ourselves, Greeny is no Beamy.* (*skull cap pending)
There’s a lot going on with the Pies and the midfield will be the most affected. Can Steelbottom be the Pies #2 mid? Will Swanny come back to hold court or be pushed up forward to work his magic?
Also, The Sidebummer is a fresh face to the super premium price club. At $600K+ price, us coaches like to buy proven Cadillacs not concept cars.
- Kickaholic. Averaged 17/game in 2014
- Can go big. Top 3 scores: 178, 155, 145
- Talented, Tireless & Tough.
- Smiles a lot
- Super high price
- 3 sub 80s not acceptable for price
- Hand of the tag to get heavier
- Smiles a lot
Could we be too in love with Supercoach stars of the past and overlook a future one? I think that is always the challenge: knowing when to say goodbye to a dude who’s served us well and take a chance on a burgeoning star.
The Sidebummer has all the gifts and is on the right team to be a future All-Australian. And, dare I say, join his buddy Dependlebury as a SuperCoach elite.
But this is not the year. Can see The Sidebummer duplicating rather than eclipsing his career best. At best he could be worth bringing in as a corrective or post byes for a POD for the ride to finals.
Agree Community? Or do you think The Sidebummer is worth a go? Let’s rumble!
This article has been penned by an elite Supercoach analyst hand picked from the talent pool of the Jock Reynolds Fantasy Footy Community. He has stood up within our community as a man of fantasy substance, and has displayed the spirit of togetherness, positivity and community that we value significantly.