Supercoach 2015 – Steele Sidebottom

Published by Throttlefinger on

Beam Brighter Than Beams?

ThrottlefingerWhy is Steele Sidebottom always smiling? Anytime the camera zooms in, a jackal-like grin is plastered on his face.

A friend said to me that he looks like the test tube baby of The Joker and Jerry Seinfeld. That toothy, maniacal smile. Flashing wide and big, like nothing is bothering him. But oh, that smile BOTHERS me. And relatedly, am I the only person who wonders what the Sidebottom family crest looks like?

Don’t get me wrong, despite his unnerving simper, I like The Sidebummer. One of the reasons he smiled more this season was probably due to his performance. The man absolutely crushed it on the field. And a career best SuperCoach year to boot.

Whaddya say we pile in the clown car and take a road trip to Data City for a couple laughs at Sidebottom’s Tickle Emporium.

2015 Price: $608,200
2015 Position: MID
Games last season: 19 (3-game MRP for high elbow)
Average last season: 113.2 (10th highest in SC)
100+ games last season: 14
Sub 80 games last season: 3 (72, 68,73)
Price range last season: $524K(R5) – $603K(R9) SD: 29
Missed games last season: N/A
Significant history: Excluding the MRP elbow drop, only miss 2 games since 2010
Ranked 2nd kicks in game this season
Dislikes sitting: 88% TOG
Rumour: blocks out Tuesdays for Taiwanese pedicures


Not too shabby, right? The Sidebummer also went 30+ disposals six times. And as listed above, the boy loves to kick. In the highest disposal game (36), 27 of them were kicks! 27 of 36 disposals were kicks, I repeat. That is deep-fried, deep-dish SC-liciousness!* (*patent pending)

But if you want your arousal curve to go Mt. Everest, check out his best game of 2014 against rival Carlton Round 14. A career SC high 178! 33 disposals, 6 marks, 2 goals (last one to seal the game), 9 tackles, 7 clearances, 5 stoppages and a 90.9% disposal effectiveness.

Get him in, right? Well, all this sounds great, of course, but as The Wolf said, “Let’s not start sucking each other’s… ” Well, you know the rest of that Pulp Fiction quote.


After a career year and Beams gone I’m fairly sure the tag light will shine brighter on The Sidebummer. Adding Levi Greenwood certainly helps shore the gap but let’s not bullshit ourselves, Greeny is no Beamy.* (*skull cap pending)


There’s a lot going on with the Pies and the midfield will be the most affected. Can Steelbottom be the Pies #2 mid? Will Swanny come back to hold court or be pushed up forward to work his magic?

Also, The Sidebummer is a fresh face to the super premium price club. At $600K+ price, us coaches like to buy proven Cadillacs not concept cars.


  • Kickaholic. Averaged 17/game in 2014
  • Can go big. Top 3 scores: 178, 155, 145
  • Talented, Tireless & Tough.
  • Smiles a lot


  • Super high price
  • 3 sub 80s not acceptable for price
  • Hand of the tag to get heavier
  • Smiles a lot


Could we be too in love with Supercoach stars of the past and overlook a future one? I think that is always the challenge: knowing when to say goodbye to a dude who’s served us well and take a chance on a burgeoning star.

The Sidebummer has all the gifts and is on the right team to be a future All-Australian. And, dare I say, join his buddy Dependlebury as a SuperCoach elite.

But this is not the year. Can see The Sidebummer duplicating rather than eclipsing his career best. At best he could be worth bringing in as a corrective or post byes for a POD for the ride to finals.


Agree Community? Or do you think The Sidebummer is worth a go? Let’s rumble!


Twitter: @throttlefinger


AFL Supercoach Legend Jock Reynolds
This article has been penned by an elite Supercoach analyst hand picked from the talent pool of the Jock Reynolds Fantasy Footy Community. He has stood up within our community as a man of fantasy substance, and has displayed the spirit of togetherness, positivity and community that we value significantly.

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Brilliant once again, throtts. The pies were beating their chests post season saying Swanny will be slotting back into the mids in 2015, the "new recruit" they called him. Will be watching pre season closely to see whether this is the case. More of a risk than reward to pick him at 600k, but his TOG% and his kicking stats have a massive upside.

A sneaky POD with Pendles and Swanny the more popular SC picks at the pies. On my watchlist

Itchy Nuts Pieman

A test tube baby of the joker & Seinfeld, absolutely magnificent throts. Loved it & agree corrective if anything. With Beams gone he will get more attention! And he’s not exactly blessed with pace to burn off a tag.

Itchy Nuts Pieman

Your all too welcome our brilliant foreign correspondent. The side bum is not exactly an in & under extractor! Would take some sizeable ones to pick him from round one.

Itchy Nuts Pieman

Large enough to not require ever needing a chair!


Brilliant Throtts, humour, stats, observation, look-a-likes all wrapped in one informative article! I knew he had a good season but genuinely surprised by his 10th ranking in averages. I will avoid but some may be tempted. Great work mate!

General Soreness

Brilliant read again Throtts, some very interesting stats too, wasnt even in my calculations but now on the ever growing watchlist. 100% agree a corrective if anything.


going dependlebury and seedy already so no room for a 3rd pie unless its a fit swanny 😉
great piece though mate

Itchy Nuts Pieman

Seedy Maso. That's going to be a big POD.


time will tell if its a Positive or Negative POD 🙂 going to hang 1 nut out on the line for him and the other for someone else yet to be determined.

General Soreness

Going Seedy is more than a 1 nut exercise, its both plums imho. Massive POD for certain.

Itchy Nuts Pieman

I’m with the general that’s both if them on the block with a machete stairing them down. But risks must be taken


Nice write up TF
At his expected $600K plus I think we would be paying overs for a $540K to $560K Player.
He did have a great year but he is capable of going missing or "rested" due to injury or smiling classes conflicted with a game…….I like the lad but ….. Maybe a possible ….. Just had a thought! Where is he most likely to play??? Is there any chance of DPP? Damn "To the fridge!!"

Itchy Nuts Pieman

I think I like the sound if your fridge Dools. Gets a fair workout!


I find it's the only way to keep the thing honest Itchy.
My fridge is a wee bit like a rebel in my own Empire. The last thing I need is for the fridge to join the "Rebel Alliance" and stock itself full of soft drink… That would be sad, as it is a Beer Fridge!!! PlusI would miss the chats…"Hi" "Hey Dools the one at the back is just…..Perfect" or "That carton is nearing it's sell by date in 2017…Drink it!"
I like my fridge and I keep it sweet by replenishing stock, providing elecktricery and once a week a deep cleansing defrost on fast cycle…


Hi TF I agree but there is a time and place for everyman…. Side Bum is in a position of time and space .As you say too unproven my man.


Ok back from the fridge.. Side Bum will not miss Beams but I think Dependleberry is still the pick of the two. I can justify the coin in my mind for a 120 plus proven performer but for Side Bum Nahhh At this stage unless Dependles goes down then he is a maybe.
Good stuff TF had me thinking of a possibility but Keyboard and Next G device (Kung Fu Slipper remains silent!) had a quick fire discussion and said "No!"


Id slot him in after Sloane in a group of midfielders that may make my team, but most likely just not……Solid review


Superb stuff TF!
Love a good Pulp Fiction quote.

The Flanking Glute (as he is know round these parts) certainly killed the pig this yr with some nice cameos up the ground.
Unfortunately the entry fee to the Emporium to test drive this concept car, is pretty pricey.
More attention sure to come.

Reckon the Glute could be most aligned with the 80's concept car the Ford Probe.
Works perfectly to fill holes in the forward pocket.


HAhahah You are on fire mate.
Just checking the fridge for other like mined persons………


The Flanking Glute!! Just spat a mouthful of coffee over the bloody keyboard lost. Wonderful stuff. That will get a run on the podcast without a doubt


Probably a lesson there Jock.
I'm sure Dools would concur that ur downing/spraying the wrong shade of Amber Fluid for this time of the day…

Anyways, thanks for the nod Chief.
Podcast rolled out some nickname gems from the bungalow.
Got the juices flowin.


Go the Side Back Side!


Enormous fan of the arse. Brought him in just before his golden run last year so he is like memories of a glorious shag.

I stand by the thought that he is the new Swan of Dane, but my Aggots retreat like a hipster from a VB at the thought of selecting him. Reckon he will be very good but too pricey for this black duck


You would have been happy as Larry nailing the Glute at the right time last year rainman. Elite.


Sensational Throtts! You never cease to make me laugh.
I see The Glute as an upgrade target.
Excellent stattage!