I’ve just about had it with Supercoach this year.
These past two rounds have been dirty. Ugly. Unimpressive. While some blokes and Sheila’s are strutting out 2200s and 2300s, my average score from the last two rounds has been my year of birth. It’s a bad number. Considering Carlton won a premiership the year I was born, I’m not sure anything good actually comes out of that particular number.
After leaving the state for the Easter break, I rolled away the stone on Monday, took one look at my Supercoach score, and rolled that stone right back into place. That ‘refreshing break’ didn’t quite work, and now I need to try a little harder.
@jock_reynolds OUT: my whole side
IN: a bunch of root vegetables
— Patch (@PatchToTheMax) April 17, 2017
So I’m leaving the country for a few weeks, to try and find inner peace, maturity and the perfect forward structure in the peaks of New Zealand. I will be leaving the Panic Room in the more than capable hands of Kev – who had a beautiful pre-season for the community, and more importantly has an encyclopaedic knowledge of every Simpsons quote ever. Now, let us lose our tiny little minds.
HOLY TOLEDO BATMAN, IT’S CARNAGE OUT THERE!
Newman. Taranto. Fox. Florent. Pruess. HARLEY BLOODY BALIC. All dropped*.
Balic… OUT (!?!?!) Ross. Bloody. Lyon. This is the last straw mate. — Jock Reynolds (@jock_reynolds) April 20, 2017
— Kevin Horton (@SC_Kev7) April 20, 2017
(*Balic is listed as a hip. With all the fibre of my being I want to believe Ross is playing one last practical joke on us, but we don’t know. Also Taranto is being rested. So I’m exaggerating but let me have my panic. Please. It’s all I’ve got left.)
AND THE CARNAGE ISN’T OVER YET!
We’ve only had 7 games announced. Richmond and Melbourne will be announced some time on Saturday, with the ANZAC day lineups to arrive 5pm AEST which is very, very irritating. I’ve shot Gil a text, but considering he doesn’t know who I am, it’s probably not going to result in anything but my number being blocked. So, what do we know?
EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE.
UPDATE: Dustin Martin is fighting to be fit to Monday’s match, with Damien Hardwick saying he’s in doubt.
Hawthorn have brought back their high-profile recruit… Tyrone Vickery.
They’ve left Jaeger O’Maera out for ANOTHER WEEK. I told you. I told you all! That knee isn’t worth the cello-tape it’s held together with.
Tom Hickey has been rested from Sunday’s clash with Geelong, causing CARNAGE in some ruck lines. David Armitage will also miss with a groin complaint, while James Parsons and Sam Menegola from Geelong will also miss with suspension. Parsons in particular looks a good rookie downgrade when he returns.
Sydney have ditched a trio of rookies, with Robbie Fox, Oliver Florent and astonishingly Nic Newman have all been dumped from the side due to take on GWS over the weekend. Flabbergasting. Tim Taranto has been rested from the same game.
Matthew Kruezer will miss this week due to some generic ruck injury that ruckmen get, as will Dale Thomas – not that anyone will be too concerned by the latter. Carlton have also named their sixth debutant for the year, with Cam Polson at 117k in the forward line coming into the side to take on Port Adelaide.
Port have kept Sam Powell-Pepper despite rumours he’d be in the Magoos, and have regained Paddy Ryder.
Brisbane have selected a bunch of irrelevant players to come into their side for a whole other bunch of other footballers, who are also irrelevant to Supercoach, ignoring the one relevant one in Jake Barrett despite his 160 Supercoach points in the NEAFL last week.
Brad Crouch comes into a midfield which will absolutely DESTROY the Suns on Saturday, and with no key defenders, Tex Walker could be a viable captaincy option.
Ed Vickers-Willis has been named for the Roos after a good showing in the seconds, which would be useful if we had any f*^&ing trades left, and Sam Mitchell hasn’t recovered from nearly breaking his leg last week. They don’t make footballers like they used to – Jock played 4 games through 2 broken legs and a punctured lung after being hit by a truck just before Bonbeach’s 1987 finals campaign.
WHAT WE DON’T KNOW, BUT THINK WE KNOW: Teams for ANZAC Day will be announced tomorrow night, to the frustration of literally everyone.
However, we can make a few speculations before they’re confirmed. Essendon are hinting at naming small defender Ben McNiece for his debut after he had 23 touches and 9 marks in round one of the VFL.
Ben McNiece has been elevated onto the Club’s senior list!
— Essendon FC (@EssendonFC) April 20, 2017
Nathan Buckley has also hinted that Josh Daicos could make his debut,
and I’ve also heard rumours that it’s a sure thing he’ll debut on ANZAC day, but these have been quashed. If they are both named, we’ll monitor them over the next few weeks and snap ‘em up if need be.
I’d be (pleasantly) surprised if Mitch Hannan keeps his spot after a few quiet games for the Dees, too.
Few rookies on the horizon, and the only bubble boy I’d consider this week is Harley Balic. If you ask me about Brandon Matera, I’m going to tell you to not select him. Even as a cash generator. Pass.
-64 – Nic Newman*
-63 – Brandon Matera
-59 – James Parsons*
-53 – Tom Williamson
-45 – Robbie Fox*
-38 – Harley Balic*
-30 – Brandon Parfitt
-28 – Andy Otten
-22 – Troy Menzel
-3 – Dan Butler
4 – Andy McGrath
6 – Curtly Hampton
14 – Mitch Hannan
178 – Paddy Dangerfield
173 – Todd Goldstein
169 – Robbie Gray
163 – Sam Mitchell
152 – Scott Pendlebury
149 – Adam Treloar
146 – Bernie Vince
141 – Dyson Heppell
130 – Kade Simpson
You know how someone may have mentioned trading Todd Goldstein out wouldn’t be the most terrible idea last week? That was the wrong call. Goldstein should be held, and while his 96 on the weekend is not what you forked out the big bucks for, Goldy spent most of the game in the ruck and should work himself back into form.
On top of this, big Brayden Pruess has been rested from this weekend’s trip to Fremantle, and if that rest is on a… more permanent… basis, that would thrust Goldmember back into contention for a top 3 ruck spot.
In Ruck news, Stefan Martin gave messiah Toby Nankervis a touch up in Brisbane on the weekend, but The Nank still managed a very respectable 91 points. Stef, however, looks like the number 1 big man in the game, with a 131-point game on the weekend. Do you know what he is? Do you want me to ask the cat, because the cat’s gonna know! He’s a BLOODY LOCK, community. Don’t you know a lock when you see it?
The Big Mummy has had two weeks in a row of 130+ scores, with Shane Mumford busting out a 135 against Port this week. I wouldn’t be moving to bring him in any time soon, but one to watch around the byes as a point of difference selection. Currently the #2 ruckman in the comp.
Brodie Grundy had a very solid 113 this weekend and won’t have let down any who brought him in for Max Gawn. However, Tom Hickey was again underwhelming with a 61. I wouldn’t blame you for ditching him, especially with him being rested this week.
On the rookie front, Jarrod Witts and Braydon Pruess didn’t reach the heights we know they can, but can hardly be accused of underdelivering. Both are plodding along adequately, albeit with Pruess being rested. I’d still hold him if he’s not onfield.
Friday night doesn’t provide us with many options, unless you’re an owner of Marc Murphy, Ollie Wines or Robbie Gray – which not many are. Sam Docherty is also on the cards.
However, North Melbourne and Freo both play Saturday night, and for those with Strndica and/or Hibberd, that gives us a look at Tom Rockliff, Luke Dahlhaus, Rory Sloane and Gary Ablett. Three of those are very, very solid VC options, with Ablett a smokie that I wouldn’t gamble on. I’d take Sloane from that motley crew.
How he pulls up this week will impact whether or not Paddy Dangerfield gets the C *winks salaciously*. He’s been named, but I’m probably going to steer clear after he looked to be in discomfort on Monday.
Joel Selwood has had a blistering start to the year and is worthy of the orange this weekend. Scott Pendlebury loves ANZAC Day and could go very, very large, averaging 115 vs the Dons and 115 at the ‘G, but as I don’t have him, I’m handing the captaincy to Nick Riewoldt and hoping Josh Schade doesn’t shut him down like he shut Lance Franklin down a few weeks ago. Roo loves Etihad, with a 111 average at the ground and coming off a 160 a few weeks back.
Alright, that’s it from me community – I’m off to New Zealand this evening but will try and pop in this arvo in the comments.
Kev will be back next week to continue MAXIMUM PANIC, but until then, let’s pray we can survive this, the first round of true carnage for the year!
Twitter : @PatchToTheMax
COACHKINGS QUARTER FINAL NEXT WEEKEND!
This weekend is your last chance to get qualified for the BIG one next Friday!
Finish 1st, 2nd or 3rd at a contest in your venue to get qualified – that bloody easy. Get down with your mates!